What do you do when you have no one?

[RedSheSaid]

The only person in my life is my disabled grandfather, and I take care of him.

Other than that I have no one.

No parents
No brothers and sisters
No family (the ones I have are happy I'm in this situation)
No significant other
No good friends (the few I have live out of state and we talk on the phone)

I'm really trying to make something of myself, just got back in school but I honestly when I see people at school getting rides from their boyfriends/older siblings to go home to a house full of a family and I'm walking to my car alone, to go take care of my grandfather, then I sit still in the dark and just think until 2 - 3 am in the morning.

And the sad part is, every time I tell someone this I get cliched answers like

"Oh I'm sure you have someone in your family who cares" or
"Things will work out great for you, your a good person"

I really don't. And I'm not sure what I can do about it.

[Anne1221]

Just try to get out more and join groups or take classes or just anything that will force you to interact with others. Jobs are good for this because you can bond with co-workers.

[Two One]

I know how you're feeling. It may not have been the same situation but believe me, I have felt that type of desperate isolation. I watched my life completely fall apart. I lost friends, my best friend whom I loved dearly, some of my family, and just had my life stolen from me as a result of my anxiety. I had no one to turn to. If I told my mom I was suicidal she would've flipped out on me, my girlfriend at the time gave me the cliche answers that infuriated me, I had no real friends, and the one person I truly called a friend disappeared. He had his own stuff to deal with and I was alone. I never thought I was going to make it.

But when I needed it the most people found me. People supported me. I made friends because they realized how much I was in need of some. I know things may seem very bad right now, but you will gain a friend or something more than that. The people that are worth being in your life will make themselves known. Sometimes, you have to wait until your darkest times to see who is truly worth it.

[Nowuccas]

Hey RedSheSaid,

Does the following appeal to you?

VOLUNTEER: Spend some time working for the worthwhile cause or charity of your choice, since it has multiple effects. It helps them, and, at the very least, it will keep you from focusing on yourself and your problems.

Write letters in support of prisoners of conscience, for Amnesty International. Many innocent people, whose only reason for incarceration was that they were a thorn in the side of a repressive government, have had their release secured as a result of a flood of letters, from all over the world.

VOLUNTEERING ELSEWHERE: Help for 2 hours per fortnight, at Meals on Wheels. Other suggestions are: As a literacy volunteer, animal shelter, Red cross/crescent, soup kitchen, Greenpeace, nursing home/hospital, Habitat for Humanity, United Way, or as a Big Sister, or Big Brother.

Volunteering will put you in touch with a range of good, positive people, and many lifelong friendships begin this way.

Google: "volunteer from home; options; list" & "volunteer; (your location)"

What sort of activities interest you? Try to find others with the same interests.

[Davit]

As a recluse the stupidest thing I ever did was try to be like everyone else. It just made it worse. I'm social, had three wives and not averse to another but am totally happy alone. I can be either. And God help anyone who judges me for being different. Including myself.

[gadguy]

The only person in my life is my disabled grandfather, and I take care of him.

Other than that I have no one.

No parents
No brothers and sisters
No family (the ones I have are happy I'm in this situation)
No significant other
No good friends (the few I have live out of state and we talk on the phone)

I'm really trying to make something of myself, just got back in school but I honestly when I see people at school getting rides from their boyfriends/older siblings to go home to a house full of a family and I'm walking to my car alone, to go take care of my grandfather, then I sit still in the dark and just think until 2 - 3 am in the morning.

And the sad part is, every time I tell someone this I get cliched answers like

"Oh I'm sure you have someone in your family who cares" or
"Things will work out great for you, your a good person"

I really don't. And I'm not sure what I can do about it.


First just a question...do you really want to change this? I tend to be a loner...I have family and good friends...but often prefer to leave them out of most parts of my life, I am social to a point and then i just want to be left alone. I go home to an empty house everyday...on occasion i feel down about it, but most days I'm just happy for the peace and quiet. I go out about once a week with friends and that is about enough for me, have been trying to date, but find it mostly bothersome to be truthful. Recently I went on a trip with 7 close friends...we had a good time but a few days in I was ready for some me time..I love them but in small doses.

[JustaGal]

The only person in my life is my disabled grandfather, and I take care of him.

Other than that I have no one.

No parents
No brothers and sisters
No family (the ones I have are happy I'm in this situation)
No significant other
No good friends (the few I have live out of state and we talk on the phone)

I'm really trying to make something of myself, just got back in school but I honestly when I see people at school getting rides from their boyfriends/older siblings to go home to a house full of a family and I'm walking to my car alone, to go take care of my grandfather, then I sit still in the dark and just think until 2 - 3 am in the morning.

And the sad part is, every time I tell someone this I get cliched answers like

"Oh I'm sure you have someone in your family who cares" or
"Things will work out great for you, your a good person"

I really don't. And I'm not sure what I can do about it.


I am in the same position. It is really painful at times. I go to a support group that is really good for me. I have tried other things, like a running group. I made a good friend out of that. Congrats on school! Be proud of your self for taking that action.

[MiST]

Make friends, meet people online and make friends and then perhaps meet them if you are comfortable with that.

[whitneyhawkins]

I really feel for you. I know what it is like to move somewhere and have no one. That feeling of isolation can be so terrifying.
But, I can tell your grandfather is so lucky to have someone like you to take care of him.

Half the battle of making friends is getting over the initial shock of being the new person. I think as humans we are so afraid of rejection. But, when we take risks, sometimes we can get great rewards. Like others have said above, taking the plunge and joining a group could be great! Maybe that is a little too scary. Try taking baby steps. Saying hello to someone at school, then give yourself a challenge for the next week like having a full conversation with someone. Tasks are much easier when they are broken down.

I hope this forum gives you some of the social interaction you want and that it is helpful to you!

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