ConfusedGirl
09-10-2008, 06:00 AM
I've spoken to a counselor, she doesn't help. I have anxiety. Since the time I was 13, I've had serious feelings of anxiety. At the time it was winter, and lasted a few weeks, where I had disturbing dreams, my feet went numb, and my vision was entirely cloudy, like being stoned and having a really bad trip out. I was afraid of everything, all the time, mostly disease. Every time i had a wart or a hive break out on my skin, I'd immediately think I was gonna die from a flesh eating disorder.
Then came the insomnia, I could never sleep. Sometimes, when I tried to sleep, just on the verge of sleeping, my body started SHAKING, like seriously SHAKING. So i'd wake up, and walk around to make it stop. It still happens sometimes. The disturbing dreams never go away, seems like every dream i have is really *f---ed* up. One time, for a a week long period, I wouldn't sleep until 4 am, where I would feel my heart (or what I thought was my heart) vibrating. Like shivering. This went away after a while. But freaked me out nonetheless.
I now have hypersomnia. Which is a disorder where i sleep too much. Nearly/Over 13 hours, and still drowsy during the day. Im not sure why this *other* thing is, but I cant keep my hand still. I place my hand away from me, and it shakes lightly. My grandma thinks something happened to my nerves. I also have a social anxiety disorder, talking to people is a real problem, almost a fear. Including my fear of heights, maggots, bacteria, disease, (sometimes men), and parasites. Sometimes when im really afraid, it gets to the point where i start shivering, heavily breathing, stressful knots in my stomach where it feels like my stomach will fall out of me. 50 lb butterflies are swimming in my digestive tract. Something like that, you know?
Also, i have asthma (as a heads up), and allergies. Allergies to milk, penicillin, and band-aids. Sometimes, in the summer, for a month or so, i can feel a tight pressure in my lower ab, stomach/bowel (maybe) region. I thought maybe this might be a problem with IBS (my mother has it, i might too), or a problem with the muscle itself, something to do with my stress, or anxiety. Any thoughts?
Honestly, Id like to feel like me again, without the serious worry i have breaking me down into tears, or the sleep trauma, or even the fear of... everything! I am only 16 by the way, trying to get out as much as possible, and live life. But this only makes it that much more difficult.
(Oh yes, I've found myself to break down, freak out, and start screaming when im REALLY annoyed)
Then came the insomnia, I could never sleep. Sometimes, when I tried to sleep, just on the verge of sleeping, my body started SHAKING, like seriously SHAKING. So i'd wake up, and walk around to make it stop. It still happens sometimes. The disturbing dreams never go away, seems like every dream i have is really *f---ed* up. One time, for a a week long period, I wouldn't sleep until 4 am, where I would feel my heart (or what I thought was my heart) vibrating. Like shivering. This went away after a while. But freaked me out nonetheless.
I now have hypersomnia. Which is a disorder where i sleep too much. Nearly/Over 13 hours, and still drowsy during the day. Im not sure why this *other* thing is, but I cant keep my hand still. I place my hand away from me, and it shakes lightly. My grandma thinks something happened to my nerves. I also have a social anxiety disorder, talking to people is a real problem, almost a fear. Including my fear of heights, maggots, bacteria, disease, (sometimes men), and parasites. Sometimes when im really afraid, it gets to the point where i start shivering, heavily breathing, stressful knots in my stomach where it feels like my stomach will fall out of me. 50 lb butterflies are swimming in my digestive tract. Something like that, you know?
Also, i have asthma (as a heads up), and allergies. Allergies to milk, penicillin, and band-aids. Sometimes, in the summer, for a month or so, i can feel a tight pressure in my lower ab, stomach/bowel (maybe) region. I thought maybe this might be a problem with IBS (my mother has it, i might too), or a problem with the muscle itself, something to do with my stress, or anxiety. Any thoughts?
Honestly, Id like to feel like me again, without the serious worry i have breaking me down into tears, or the sleep trauma, or even the fear of... everything! I am only 16 by the way, trying to get out as much as possible, and live life. But this only makes it that much more difficult.
(Oh yes, I've found myself to break down, freak out, and start screaming when im REALLY annoyed)