Way out of my league.

[inmio]

I like a guy who's WAY OUT OF MY LEAGUE, and I'm not even exaggerating. He's got friends and a social life, he goes to parties and enjoys company, he's the starter of conversations with strangers, he's an extrovert and I am trash. When I didn't like him that much we would hug or touch each others hands etc. but everything changed when I had a wet dream about him and since then everything is awkward more awkward than it was before, I can't make eye contact, or touch him or being around him. I know it's normal I am a fucking teenager but that + the anxiety + the panic attacks I get after any kind of human interaction is just destroying my brain. I can't focus on my homework because I'm always thinking about how he's never gonna like me because of my awkwardness and I want to give up. I talked with my therapist about this, how it bothered me the most cause I think no one is ever going to love me because I CAN'T MAKE OR MAINTAIN BONDS WITH A HUMAN BEING AND IT'S STRESSING I don't know how I'm gonna get through this. I do not want to worry about it but it is impossible.

[wallapingnk]

First of all, please dont ever call yourself trash. You may sometimes feel that way but trust me you are far from it. :) It seems you've develop a but of crush of this person. The feeling your having seem kinda normal, little bit of unrequited love. What does your therapist say about all this? and are you worried about making a bond with just this specific person or does the extend to all? You may not get a connection with this particular person, but who to say that in the future you wont end up finding a great connection with some else.

[unknownme]

My first observation is The same above, please don't call yourself trash :(

I was bullied for years and couldn't fit in for some reason, any guy liking me was a joke and I taught myself that, I taught myself that guys couldn't possible find me attractive or interesting, that they would never want to date me,that I wouldn't have lasting friends and couldn't trust in peple. I became my worst bully.

The first thing you really need to do is love yourself. No matter how cliché it sounds, it will make you not enter in relationships with people that will hurt you and I learned that The hard way. It also won't make you blame yourself for a guy not seeing your worth. People usually don't see The good in people until they lose it. Please, love yourself

[Davit]

I can understand how you feel, compared to the people I grew up with I was trash, poor and from a broken family. But I deserved it. Knees out of my jeans, riding my motor cycle on the sidewalk if I felt like it. But at work I was better than anyone else and it got me recognition. I don't think you are trash and if you are, so what. It really is what is inside that counts, the outside is pretty shallow. But the good nose in the air town folk gave me a core belief that I had to prove I was better than them. And I was and I still am and thank God none of their snobby daughters would look at me. Got me a plain girl who didn't mind riding on my motorcycle when she wasn't riding hers. We stayed together till I decided I wanted to be a farmer and she wanted to be a city girl. So tractors now and no more motor cycles. And she is still in the city. So for Gods sake have fun but when it gets serious, pick someone who will share with you, don't ever live in anyones shadow. And definitely love yourself.