Looking to relate

[Apex]

Hello, I'm 30 years old and have suffered through my 20's
I was fine for a while, I was on lexapro and that seed to help, then i moved on to celexa, that worked for about 2 years. I moved away from home about a year snd a half ago and got off the celexa. This was a mistake, my anxiety attacks/panic attacks, heart palps all came rushing back...for the past 3 months i have been in bad shape. A month ago i started celexa again. I have some relief but its not enough, i barley make hours at work because I'm constantly afraid of being away from home, i spend a lot of my time laying on my living room floor in fear of the next skipped heart beat or attack. My quality of life is crap....I'm miserable when im not like this im happy, laughing being silly and just living a normal life. I would give anything to get it back.
I fear heart attacks constantly even though I have no family history, i dont drink or smoke and I have also had more EKGS than I could possibly count.

Im a mess to say the least

[Davit]

Yes you are a mess, but you can get better.

Sorry Apex, I deleted my mistake. I shouldn't be on here this late.

[Apex]

Yes you are a mess, and I'm surprised your not worse, yes there is worse than this. Mary jane and alcohol are depressants and do not mix with SSRIs.

Omg ok I just re read my post.
Just to clarify I dont drink or smoke
Sorry im new to the forum thing



....your reply made me feel worse.

[sae]

I relate to much of this. In fact my lack of desire (ability) to leave my house for long periods of time is a contributing factor to my current unemployed widowed bum leeching off the SSSB system status. When I do leave I have to carry my fryer cord in my purse (loooong story haha). I know all about hot mess.
I spent countless hours, days wishing life was like it once was, then something changes, and I find myself regretting that I did not cherish what I previously had. It's a cycle of change and adaptation.
I sometimes wonder if anxiety is just as simple as a maladaptation to change, or impending change. I know much of that is my issue. I fear the changes in my health, my surroundings, the ever changing social tapestry that moves outside of my door.
Time never moves backwards, or stops. You dont get to have a do over, or a replay. The days you have at your disposal are precious to you because you only get one per day. Every morning you wake up on the right side of the dirt is a good start.
You are awesome enough to have your very own day. No one else gets to be you. It might not seem like that's so cool right now, but just as you had good times in the past, so will they come again once you are able to let them back in, slowly, one day at a time.

[Davit]

Sorry Apex, I read that wrong. My fault entirely, thank you for correcting me. I do want you to know what ever mess you are you can get better. I was a very bad mess and celexa made me suicidal. Had to do CBT cold with no meds for help. It took a while but it did get better.

[Davit]

sae
You are the first person I noticed mention change.
Fear of change is common and I feel the root of a lot of anxiety and also feel it may be because we can not keep up and anxiety makes it even worse. Not keeping up or not wanting to change makes us outsiders. I don't like change when I can see no benefit from it.