Hi Everyone!

[medic09]

First post here, saw the email said to post in the welcome forum if I wish. I thought it would be wonderful, as more people seem to reply on a welcome post than I ever had on any "Need help with anxiety" post on reddit.

I work in EMS, currently preparing to start work as a part-time EMT Basic within a month. I'm enrolled in a Paramedic class, so I need to start targeting my anxiety, as it has gone untreated. I struggle with debilitating health anxiety, Insomnia, ADD, OCD and Depression. I am a very emotionless person, though I wish to feel the emotions I used to. I feel as if I am this way because my anxiety/depression has caused this blanket of neutrality. I scuba dive when I can afford to and on the rare occasion my heart lets me enjoy something, I love mini golf.

Thank you for reading & responding if you did. I hope everyone has a great day/night wherever you are from!

[MainerMikeBrown]

Welcome. Becoming a paramedic is something I can't do, I couldn't handle that kind of stress. But if you can, Medic09, then that's great!

[jessed03]

Hey Medic!

All of that medical knowledge must be like cocaine for your health anxiety.

I'm glad you're following your passion though. It's important. Anxiety sadly gets in the way of so many people pursuing their ambitions.

[Blondie517]

Wow, I think you are very brave for doing what you love despite your anxiety! I cannot even walk into a hospital without my heart racing. I don't experience these feelings on a day to day basis, but sometimes when I take my anxiety meds they make me feel this way, not sad, not happy, just.. there. I don't like it and I am sorry you are dealing with these feelings, as well. My therapist informed me of a study done with people who suffer from depression, basically they gave one group of people medication, and they gave the other group strict instructions to fake happiness, no matter what, just SMILE. She said that eventually the people that had to "fake it till they made it" found true happiness, moreso over the people who took medication. I'm sorry I don't have better advice other than to just keep chugging along and fake happiness until it feels real, but I hope it feels real for you soon! My own anxiety has caused me to question my happiness, if it is genuine or not, and I would consider myself a very happy person despite my anxiety.