steph84106
09-23-2015, 02:03 PM
Hi everyone. So, I'm a 31 year old woman who has always dealt with anxiety that just evolved and manifested in different ways as I got older. I hve a very long history with anxiety. My present issue is that I'm lost, useless, depressed, all alone in a state I just moved to about 2 months ago....I'm immobile (fear of driving) and there's no other way to travel here. I have to wait until Oct. 1st to see my new psych. and that seems worlds and worlds away. There are too many hours in the day and I really just wish I could sleep them all away.
I have to mention, my daughter is 9 and is thriving here in her new school. She loves it. My husband loves it. It's ME. I hate my life here. My panic attacks are so new for me... this full blown panic where death is right in my face and I have no control over whether or not I survive it. During these attacks, which conveniently starting just over a month ago when I'm isolated and alone, I can't breath, can't hear, pressure in my head, tingling and hot all over my body, the heat feels like it's directly under my skin, I go numb here and there, my eyes are wide and there is never enough breath that I can take into my lungs... my throat is tight and I wonder for a moment if I'm going through anaphylactic shock though I haven't been exposed to anything. I'm exhausted and scared when it's all over... which for me is a slow climb back to a normal state. The panic attack hits so quick and hard and takes it's time making it's exit, leaving me traumatized and scared.
I'm now terrified of another attack, an I've had several more since that first one. I'm depressed because my life amounts to nothing right now. My "normal" anxiety levels are making me berserk. I'm doing yoga daily, drinking calming teas with tons of antioxidants, cutting the caffeine, breathing techniques and EFT tapping techniques, and have been started on a low dose of Klonopin (.5 mg twice daily) along with my other meds (seroquel, gabapentin, and now bupropion I believe).
I am desperate. I am so down. My family deserves better. I guess this is my introduction and I know I'm not alone I just can't fathom going through this much longer. I cry all the time. This cannot be what my life amounts to. I always take one step forward and ten gajillion steps back. I just want to be well.
Steph
I have to mention, my daughter is 9 and is thriving here in her new school. She loves it. My husband loves it. It's ME. I hate my life here. My panic attacks are so new for me... this full blown panic where death is right in my face and I have no control over whether or not I survive it. During these attacks, which conveniently starting just over a month ago when I'm isolated and alone, I can't breath, can't hear, pressure in my head, tingling and hot all over my body, the heat feels like it's directly under my skin, I go numb here and there, my eyes are wide and there is never enough breath that I can take into my lungs... my throat is tight and I wonder for a moment if I'm going through anaphylactic shock though I haven't been exposed to anything. I'm exhausted and scared when it's all over... which for me is a slow climb back to a normal state. The panic attack hits so quick and hard and takes it's time making it's exit, leaving me traumatized and scared.
I'm now terrified of another attack, an I've had several more since that first one. I'm depressed because my life amounts to nothing right now. My "normal" anxiety levels are making me berserk. I'm doing yoga daily, drinking calming teas with tons of antioxidants, cutting the caffeine, breathing techniques and EFT tapping techniques, and have been started on a low dose of Klonopin (.5 mg twice daily) along with my other meds (seroquel, gabapentin, and now bupropion I believe).
I am desperate. I am so down. My family deserves better. I guess this is my introduction and I know I'm not alone I just can't fathom going through this much longer. I cry all the time. This cannot be what my life amounts to. I always take one step forward and ten gajillion steps back. I just want to be well.
Steph