How can I do it ?

[lauraaliyah]

Hey everyone, I'm posting here because I don't have time to see a shrink and I don't really have any friends to talk to. So here I am. Excuse me if my english isn't perfect, it's not my mother tongue.
So basically I'm a 17-year-old french girl and I had several issues the last three years - I used to cut myself, I did lots of drugs, dropped out of school ... luckily I came to my senses and it's all over now, far behind me. Now I have lots of ambition, I really want to do something with my life ... at least that's what I thought, there always seems to be that other part of me who just doesn't give a damn about anything, makes me not want to wake up - and be late to school - in the morning, not do my homework so then I have to do them late at night and be late to school again, I work my arse off, I changed schools a lot so I don't really have close friends, I don't even have friends anymore, just people I hang with at school ...
I'm sorry to all of you who have deep issues and think I'm just whining and I should get my shit together. But the fact is I can't stop crying, I don't sleep enough, I'm always wondering if life is worth the shot. I have never really been suicidal, like I'm so sad I want to die, but sometimes I think I'm one of these clever kids who kill themselves because they simply decide life isn't worth all the pain.
Please help me. I don't know how I'm gonna make it, wake up every morning, go to school, go back home, work for hours, fight with my mom, be annoyed by my pathetic dad who's in rehab in Paris for the hundredth time, and have no friend to talk to, no shoulder to cry on.
Please help.

[greightful]

Well, you want to get better and you said you've come to your senses before. So, you're heading in the right direction! But, you're letting that negative side of you take control. I let that happen to me too. The problem is, it's so easy to let the negativity spiral out of control. Once you hit a certain point, it's so hard to come out of it. It's like getting hooked on drugs. Once you're hooked on negativity, it chokes you.

I used to be really bad about it. I think my main issue was, I kind of thought optimism and being positive all the time was corny. I thought it was for "fake" people. I thought it was silly. It's so much easier to just say F-it. And, I'll admit, it's kind of a cool feeling at first to be negative. You know what I'm saying? All the bad/negative celebrities get a lot of attention, for example.

But, I realized that being negative was killing me. Seriously. It was killing me. I started to read about buddhism (it may not be for you, but the point is to read something positive). I started to practice mindful breathing too. I'm doing much better now.

[BettyClark]

You should consult with a good doctor or a counselor, they will help you negative thoughts come out and start your normal life.
I would also suggest start doing exercise and yoga, this will help you with mind peace and healthy body.