Growing old,losing loved ones, scary thoughts

[Sara3333]

Hi everyone!I am a girl and I am 21.I have a problem that many people have but it just won't let me live a normal life.I dread growing up,dread the day my loved ones will pass away.I can't stand the fact that it is inevitable.Every day I worry,count months,years,calculate my parents' ages.The fact that they are much older than the parents of my friends stresses me out even more.I can't even have good time with them as I understand that one day it will become a memory.I knew this fact before but now it just won't go out of my mind.What is happening with me?I used to be a normal girl.
Thank you for any advice you will give.

[jessed03]

Hi everyone!I am a girl and I am 21.I have a problem that many people have but it just won't let me live a normal life.I dread growing up,dread the day my loved ones will pass away.I can't stand the fact that it is inevitable.Every day I worry,count months,years,calculate my parents' ages.The fact that they are much older than the parents of my friends stresses me out even more.I can't even have good time with them as I understand that one day it will become a memory.I knew this fact before but now it just won't go out of my mind.What is happening with me?I used to be a normal girl.
Thank you for any advice you will give.

Hey Sara, what's up? Welcome to the club. :)

Your worry is something I can relate to. My dad was really late having kids, so for most of my life, he's been "old". He's in his 70s now, even though I'm mid-20s.

I've always had this worry: How much of my life is my dad going to see?

I don't really know what to say advice-wise. I don't think there is much advice to give, unfortunately. Without meaning to sound really depressing, life is sort of just a ride round the sun; a conveyor belt to death. We're all just at different stages. If you're religious or spiritual, you can probably gain comfort from that, but if you're not, death and loss is just a harsh reality you have to face up to, I'm afraid. It's something that needs to be accepted, because it can't be avoided.

Life doesn't really seem to have any inherent meaning. Contrary to what we've been told by certain organisations, nobody seems to be looking after us. Humans don't appear to be particularly special, at least as far as nature goes. We add our own meaning to life, sure, but we only get to enjoy it for a little while. That's damn scary when you think about it. It's terrifying, even.

I think this is just something everybody goes through. You seem to be having your own version of a mid-life crisis in your 20s. Everybody goes through that stage where they're faced with the fragility of life. The anxiety that that brings hits them like a ton of bricks. I think I was about 20 too when it all started to hit me.

As far as easing the fear of loss, there are probably a few things you can do to at least make yourself feel better. First, live in the moment. Wouldn't it suck to waste the short time you have on earth worrying about something that was inevitable? Second, do your best to eliminate any anxiety and depression you have. A healthy mind isn't pre-occupied with death, so something tells me your mind isn't in tip-top shape. You can do this by taking omega-3 supps, by meditating, by exercising regularly, by eating healthily, by reducing stress. Third, understand that death isn't necessarily a bad thing. We're programmed to believe that it is; it's a part of our evolutionary makeup, but actually, death is the ultimate form of peace. There's no stress there, no worry, no pain, no sadness.

I think you'll be normal again, Sara. I do!!

[Sara3333]

Thank you so much for your reply.I really appreciate your time and kindness. By the way your idea about my mind was really accurate.I agree with you that there is smth wrong with my mind otherwise my friends would have the same thoughts as me but they don't. And it's hard as they will think I'm going crazy.However I don't know how to make it work as it used to.
I will look for the medicine you advised.I have never heard of it but I will try.
I hope this is really life crisis that will soon pass.
Thank you again for your help.You sound really inspirational and sincere something I really needed now.






QUOTE=jessed03;219771]Hey Sara, what's up? Welcome to the club. :)

Your worry is something I can relate to. My dad was really late having kids, so for most of my life, he's been "old". He's in his 70s now, even though I'm mid-20s.

I've always had this worry: How much of my life is my dad going to see?

I don't really know what to say advice-wise. I don't think there is much advice to give, unfortunately. Without meaning to sound really depressing, life is sort of just a ride round the sun; a conveyor belt to death. We're all just at different stages. If you're religious or spiritual, you can probably gain comfort from that, but if you're not, death and loss is just a harsh reality you have to face up to, I'm afraid. It's something that needs to be accepted, because it can't be avoided.

Life doesn't really seem to have any inherent meaning. Contrary to what we've been told by certain organisations, nobody seems to be looking after us. Humans don't appear to be particularly special, at least as far as nature goes. We add our own meaning to life, sure, but we only get to enjoy it for a little while. That's damn scary when you think about it. It's terrifying, even.

I think this is just something everybody goes through. You seem to be having your own version of a mid-life crisis in your 20s. Everybody goes through that stage where they're faced with the fragility of life. The anxiety that that brings hits them like a ton of bricks. I think I was about 20 too when it all started to hit me.

As far as easing the fear of loss, there are probably a few things you can do to at least make yourself feel better. First, live in the moment. Wouldn't it suck to waste the short time you have on earth worrying about something that was inevitable? Second, do your best to eliminate any anxiety and depression you have. A healthy mind isn't pre-occupied with death, so something tells me your mind isn't in tip-top shape. You can do this by taking omega-3 supps, by meditating, by exercising regularly, by eating healthily, by reducing stress. Third, understand that death isn't necessarily a bad thing. We're programmed to believe that it is; it's a part of our evolutionary makeup, but actually, death is the ultimate form of peace. There's no stress there, no worry, no pain, no sadness.

I think you'll be normal again, Sara. I do!![/QUOTE]

[JohnC]

Well put jessed03, I worry about my parents all the time and i try and talk to them and see them often. Yes, i have wasted a lot of time on this worry and for what? Cant change it.
Now i am 50 and my son is 10 so i worry about my three kids and getting them to the age that they can take care of themselves before i take the dirt nap. Lots of time wasted worrying, sad really. Peace

[jessed03]

Your welcome, Sara. Where are you from, by the way? I've never seen that name spelled like that. :)

@ John: 50's the new 40, mate! I'll only start worrying about your health when you lose that eye for the ladies.

[Sara3333]

I'm from Armenia.To be honest it's not my real name..I just chose a name that first came to my mind and missed a letter:)

[JohnC]

I will take that eye to the grave;);)