Ruled by Anxiety...Can anyone relate?

[Stress Mess]

Hello Everyone. Okay, so I've never been a part of a forum before but I would like to start today because I need to know that I am not alone in my anxiety and just need a place to go where I can be encouraged as well as encourage others. Long story short I feel anxious almost all the time. Sometimes I don't even know why I am anxious, but I just feel my stomach turning and my heart racing. I have frequent headaches because my face muscles are so tense most of the time and I don't even realize it until I feel the migraine coming. I also have moderate social anxiety but that has been better lately because most of the people I spend time with are the people I know very well and feel comfortable around. I am getting married in a few months and worry almost constantly about all the things I have to do before then and what my life will look like after the big day. This is supposed to be the most exciting and enjoyable preparation of my life so far and I feel like my anxiety is ruining it because I am so worried. I am also looking to change career paths and have had several unsuccessful interviews which is really getting me down. I don't have much energy or motivation to do anything anymore except watch TV and work on yarn projects. I really wish I had the motivation to be super healthy and exercise every day, but lately I feel like my anxiety is ruling me and turning into a depression. I feel so moody and I hate it. I am scared to let people see the real me. They see this smiley, happy, easy going, likable person, but I don't feel that way at all. Any advice for how to talk to people (i.e. friends and family) about what I am truly feeling? Can anyone relate to feeling "ruled" by anxiety and do you have any advice about how to overcome it?

[skeetman33]

Hi Stress Mess,
I am new to this forum and also just posted today for the first time. One thing I can tell you for sure is that you are not alone. I can relate to all of your symptoms caused by your anxiety, one in particular, the muscles in your face being tense, I sometimes find myself squinting my eyes because my face is in a deep frown, hard to describe but you know that feeling so I feel better knowing I am not alone with that. Stay positive about your future and soon one of those interviews will lead to something good for sure. As for telling people what you are going through, I have told my wife and my adult children and it feels great letting it out but don't be disappointed if the reaction is not what you expect, they will, as great friends and family, support you, but in my case they all seem to say, what? you seem so normal, your retired you should be happy and enjoying every moment. Your wedding prep also has to be contributing to your stress, so perhaps after your big day some of you stress will be eliminated and your anxiety may let up. I wish you the best, your not alone! Best wishes to you and congrats on your wedding!

[greightful]

Yes, you are not alone. Many people, as you'll see in this forum suffer from anxiety. I'm new to the forum too. But, as skeetman33 said, your symptoms are familiar. What has been helping me lately is meditation and staying positive. Try keeping a journal. More specifically, maybe a gratitude journal. I know it's corny and it seems like it won't really help, but, thinking positive and smiling helps. I also saw a therapist for a little while. You might want to consider that if you haven't yet. Talking to your loved ones about it might help, but I think talking to a stranger like a therapist helps too. But seriously, look up how to meditate. Try calm.com (I am in no way affiliated with calm.com it's just an app I use and love).

[Stress Mess]

Thanks for your responses! It helps to know that I am not alone. I actually used to see a therapist for a few months when I first recognized the severe signs of anxiety several years ago.. I lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time, was having frequent panic attacks, and overall really scared. Talking with a therapist helped a lot so I think I might need to take that leap again and find someone to talk to. Thanks also for the reminder to stay positive. Sometimes it is difficult but I think with an anxiety disorder very necessary!

[greightful]

Yes, it sounds easy, but it's not. However, it truly makes all the difference in the world. When I get stuck in negative thoughts, nothing good happens. But, when I'm positive, even annoyingly positive, it helps a lot. There's a lot to be thankful for even if you don't see it right away. When you find a way to step outside of yourself and see that things really aren't so scary, the anxiety will die down. I hope you find the support you're looking for here.

[HoldOnPainEnds]

Hey Stress Mess,

I can relate. I too feel anxious pretty much all the time. Usually it's worse for me in the morning and starts to drop off in the afternoon. If I really sit down and think about it, I don't feel anxious ALL the time, but the anxiety is always on my mind. Maybe you'll find that's true for you too? I try to focus on that - if I can just get through to the evening, I will probably feel better. It is normal to experience a lot of stress and anxiety surrounding big life changes - especially changes as big as getting married or changing careers. I can relate to that too - I just got a new job and I'm moving into a much better place and I constantly worry about those things, which should be happy changes. But change is change. It's scary! Is your partner supportive? Your parents? Your friends? Do you feel like there is anyone in your life who really knows what you're going through? If there is anyone who may be sympathetic to your plight, tell them what you're going through. And if there isn't, if it's financially possible for you, see a therapist. Getting those feelings off your chest and having a person that you can go to who won't judge you and can help calm your fears with a more objective perspective can be invaluable.