Brandie Leann Scott
08-29-2015, 08:37 AM
I guess it's safe to say that I have dealt with anxiety my entire life. I didn't realize it until lately, but I was a very anxious kid. My sister and I had a grandmother who was very neurotic and wanted everything her way. To get us to do what she wanted, she often used scare tactics. I'm guessing a big part of that was the starting point for my anxiety as even today as an adult, I am almost moved to tears when I "get in trouble."
Anyway, the past few years have really been the worst for me as far as the attacks and constant feelings of fear and stress go. I guess you could say they got worse after my mother's death in 2008. I went to a therapist once and she told me all I needed was CBT and that no medication was required. I never got to return for another session, but I tried implementing the techniques she taught me. I found that finding and isolating my triggers really helped.
That was about two or three years ago. Fast forward to the past month and it's been a never ending storm. First, it was heart palpitations. Every time I went to lay down to sleep, my heart was beating out of my chest. Next, it was a fear of choking that made it to where eating anything was a chore (this one comes and goes, it is currently back. My most recent dealings with it is not being able to swallow and my throat feeling insanely dry.) The newest thing is an inability to interact with strangers. Three days ago at my job, which I have done for nearly two years, I found myself terrified of going to the front desk to speak to people. I was on the phone, crying hysterically to my sister that I couldn't go up there. Anytime I went to speak to someone, I felt like I was going to pass out and my throat was closing in on me. And it's only people I don't know or don't feel close to. I'm on day three of this and luckily have some leftover visatril pills from a while ago when I was having issues before. They have really helped me cope. I have an appointment on Tuesday to start seeing a therapist again. I'm excited to work with her.
I don't know about you all, but I just want to be happy. I want to be able to talk to people, to not feel overwhelmed at the thought of going to work. And I want to not be so negative all the time. That's what I want from all of this.
Anyway, the past few years have really been the worst for me as far as the attacks and constant feelings of fear and stress go. I guess you could say they got worse after my mother's death in 2008. I went to a therapist once and she told me all I needed was CBT and that no medication was required. I never got to return for another session, but I tried implementing the techniques she taught me. I found that finding and isolating my triggers really helped.
That was about two or three years ago. Fast forward to the past month and it's been a never ending storm. First, it was heart palpitations. Every time I went to lay down to sleep, my heart was beating out of my chest. Next, it was a fear of choking that made it to where eating anything was a chore (this one comes and goes, it is currently back. My most recent dealings with it is not being able to swallow and my throat feeling insanely dry.) The newest thing is an inability to interact with strangers. Three days ago at my job, which I have done for nearly two years, I found myself terrified of going to the front desk to speak to people. I was on the phone, crying hysterically to my sister that I couldn't go up there. Anytime I went to speak to someone, I felt like I was going to pass out and my throat was closing in on me. And it's only people I don't know or don't feel close to. I'm on day three of this and luckily have some leftover visatril pills from a while ago when I was having issues before. They have really helped me cope. I have an appointment on Tuesday to start seeing a therapist again. I'm excited to work with her.
I don't know about you all, but I just want to be happy. I want to be able to talk to people, to not feel overwhelmed at the thought of going to work. And I want to not be so negative all the time. That's what I want from all of this.