Tired of this anxiety *rap

[Doomed]

My anxiety is so bad I can barely leave the house. When I do go out it is very noticeable by people and I've had people give me dirty looks and treat me badly because of it. Just had it happen again this afternoon at the library. Happened a few months back too when I had to renew my license the woman giving me my test could tell I was nervous and just treated me like absolute shit. Anyways I'm completely tired of it. I can't hold a job. I can barely leave the house and I have no life. I haven't been in a relationship in years. I have so much anger built up from being mistreated by my family and others that I can barely contain it. I'm just not even sure why I should bother anymore. Just the thought of having another anxiety attack gives me an anxiety attack. I don't think Ill ever be able to function properly or have a normal happy life.

[JohnC]

Hey Doomed, Give some of us veterans a chance to see if we can help, theirs a lot of us so one of us should be able to help you. Can you start by telling us a little more about yourself and any treatments you may have had or are currently taking?

[Doomed]

I haven't had any treatment because I have no money. If I did I would have gotten help years ago. As far as the anxiety attacks they started over 20 years ago. They weren't so bad then but they make life pretty much unlivable now. I spoke to the head of a clinic at UCF that specializes in anxiety about 6 years ago. She said she could help me but I have no money to move down that way.


Hey Doomed, Give some of us veterans a chance to see if we can help, theirs a lot of us so one of us should be able to help you. Can you start by telling us a little more about yourself and any treatments you may have had or are currently taking?

[JohnC]

I can most surely understand about the money thing. Do you live in the U.S. ?

[Doomed]

Yeah, I do.


I can most surely understand about the money thing. Do you live in the U.S. ?

[JohnC]

Have you gone to your local job and family services or some other state/federal help agency? You should qualify for help (usually based on income)
There are a lot of folks on here that use non medical things to battle their anxiety like meditation and different herbs and breathing techniques.

[JohnC]

You can also type in some key words in the search box and read what others are doing which is a good way to "tailor"your search more for your particular needs.

[Doomed]

I tried to get disability a few months ago and I was turned down. I'm not sure how I don't qualify as there is no way I could hold a job in my current position. I'm sure if I pressed the situation I could get it. To be honest though, I don't want to be on it. Never in a million years did I think I would have to live like that. If I knew things were going to get this bad when I was a kid I wouldnt have even bothered. I have two abusive deadbeat parents to thank for this.

As far as herbs I've tried lemon balm(cough drops), chamomile teas and st johns wort. I also bought some valerian a few days ago hoping it would help me sleep through the night.


Have you gone to your local job and family services or some other state/federal help agency? You should qualify for help (usually based on income)
There are a lot of folks on here that use non medical things to battle their anxiety like meditation and different herbs and breathing techniques.

[JohnC]

Disability is very hard to get. You must have all the doctors papers and you must keep applying and reapplying and bugging the crap out of them, I know this because my mom who is deaf and going blind is on disability or was she is retired now but it took a lawyer to get them off their ass.

[gypsylee]

Hey and welcome :)

That sucks about money being an issue. Our healthcare is still pretty good - getting worse but nowhere near as bad as yours.

I know all about how crippling anxiety can be.. It's a beast of a thing. I hope you find some support here. It really does help to just have people who understand who you can vent to.

All the best,
Gypsy x

[Kuma]

Hey Doomed. It sounds like you may be resigned to the idea that your situation is unchangeable. Starting with your screen name, but also your description. That sort of resignation can be tempting, when you are feeling really badly and sort of hopeless -- but it is not at all constructive.

If you do not want to live as you are now for the rest of your life, then you need to commit to finding a way to change your situation. Sure it is difficult. But it is not impossible -- many others have done it -- and it is very much worthwhile.

What would you advise someone else in your situation who told you they REALLY REALLY want to improve their situation, and they are willing to do anything in the world (so long as it is legal and ethical) to accomplish this? Surely you would not say "sorry, buddy, it is hopeless. Nothing you can do. You are toast."

You really need to make a plan to improve your condition. It won't happen overnight, but a thousand mile journey starts with a single step. So take the step.

Here is one idea, which I mention with some reluctance because religion has been a sore point on this forum, and I have been one of the people who is critical of those who push their religion on others. But if you are a member of any religion -- even if you are not practicing -- you might make an appointment to talk with a local clergy person. That does not cost anything, of course. Tell that person about your situation, and ask for their help. They may be able to offer you some advice and counseling and access to community resources,which can offer additional assistance.

If you don't like that idea, figure out something else that will work for you. Make a plan. Don't just tell yourself it is hopeless. It is not hopeless. It never is. But it takes some courage and strength and commitment to improve your condition.

[gypsylee]

Nice post Kuma :)