mak11
08-22-2015, 12:35 AM
About 10 years ago, I was on medication for both depression and anxiety.
The anxiety was mostly social anxiety. I had multiple panic attacks everyday, and would always need to know where
the nearest exit was in a room (as well as know that it was possible for me to leave, if needed).
Thankfully, I don't go through this anymore... however I'd say a little anxiety has always remained.
I've just been able to brush it off and cope much better, so it did not get in the way of my life as much.
I feel like the past year, it has slowly come up again... except on different terms.
Occasionally, small things will make my whole body start shaking. It's embarrassing, but my biggest issue seems to be with the neighbor who lives down below us.
She is a nice girl, so nothing to be "scared" of, yet for some reason, my anxiety gets completely set off from her sometimes.
I first noticed it when I would get an uneasy feeling in my stomach whenever I happened to pass by her, but it began concerning me when I began getting the shakes.
First time was when I went outside to head out by myself, and she happened to be outside downstairs in view.
I began shaking so bad that I struggled to put my key into the door so I could lock it before leaving.
Other times I will sometimes shake is if my fiancé happens to mention something about her. For example, tonight he happened to peer out the window and yelled at me to come over and said "Look, she's feeding the deer by hand!" I came to see and mentioned that I've seen it before - then my shakes began.
I tried shrugging it off and ignoring it, but he noticed, so began questioning why I was freaking out... and then I lost it. I left the room and had a complete breakdown for a good few hours.
I get SO confused by it, because everytime I get shaky, I don't understand WHY.
The only thing I can possibly relate it to (but it still seems really really stupid in my head) is the fact that, when she first moved in, I had issues with her leaving her laundry in our shared machine for days at a time, and it never changed much, even after I politely told her numerous times that it has to be taken out once done.
When this problem initially began, he always told me to basically calm down, and that shes just young and doesn't realize it. "She's not doing it on purpose".
Even a year later, after this issue STILL occasionally happens, he tends to have a similar reaction.
Although, he can sometimes be a little more sympathetic now.
Anywho... as silly as it may be, I feel like this is what may be causing this whole thing...
Perhaps I just feel powerless and inadequate... so in turn I react with anxiety.
Does any of this make sense to anyone???
I'm just trying to figure things out...
The anxiety was mostly social anxiety. I had multiple panic attacks everyday, and would always need to know where
the nearest exit was in a room (as well as know that it was possible for me to leave, if needed).
Thankfully, I don't go through this anymore... however I'd say a little anxiety has always remained.
I've just been able to brush it off and cope much better, so it did not get in the way of my life as much.
I feel like the past year, it has slowly come up again... except on different terms.
Occasionally, small things will make my whole body start shaking. It's embarrassing, but my biggest issue seems to be with the neighbor who lives down below us.
She is a nice girl, so nothing to be "scared" of, yet for some reason, my anxiety gets completely set off from her sometimes.
I first noticed it when I would get an uneasy feeling in my stomach whenever I happened to pass by her, but it began concerning me when I began getting the shakes.
First time was when I went outside to head out by myself, and she happened to be outside downstairs in view.
I began shaking so bad that I struggled to put my key into the door so I could lock it before leaving.
Other times I will sometimes shake is if my fiancé happens to mention something about her. For example, tonight he happened to peer out the window and yelled at me to come over and said "Look, she's feeding the deer by hand!" I came to see and mentioned that I've seen it before - then my shakes began.
I tried shrugging it off and ignoring it, but he noticed, so began questioning why I was freaking out... and then I lost it. I left the room and had a complete breakdown for a good few hours.
I get SO confused by it, because everytime I get shaky, I don't understand WHY.
The only thing I can possibly relate it to (but it still seems really really stupid in my head) is the fact that, when she first moved in, I had issues with her leaving her laundry in our shared machine for days at a time, and it never changed much, even after I politely told her numerous times that it has to be taken out once done.
When this problem initially began, he always told me to basically calm down, and that shes just young and doesn't realize it. "She's not doing it on purpose".
Even a year later, after this issue STILL occasionally happens, he tends to have a similar reaction.
Although, he can sometimes be a little more sympathetic now.
Anywho... as silly as it may be, I feel like this is what may be causing this whole thing...
Perhaps I just feel powerless and inadequate... so in turn I react with anxiety.
Does any of this make sense to anyone???
I'm just trying to figure things out...