Nrj14811
08-18-2015, 08:46 PM
So I don't even know where to begin. I feel like maybe I should start with how I finally got here to a place that might help me? So I'm going to start there. I work for this awesome company. And there was a girl who worked in the store with me who was very friendly to me. As time went on, she started to grow very fond of me and eventually I caved and we started dating. Normally I'm completely against dating people you work with. Especially since I am a supervisor, but they needed to move her to a new store so according to the handbook and the corporate overlords, our relationship would not be an issue. I still shouldn't have. But it began with what was the greatest two months of my life. I fell in love because I felt like she loved me. But then it fell apart. I didn't know why and know one would tell me. Some people started to say it was because she had rebounded and I was just a rebound. I fell apart. So I wrote down everything I felt and sent it to her. It turns out that I'm the reason we fell apart. My anxiety and depression and codependency tore us apart. She never told me until over a month it was over. That brings us to today. After finding that out, I broke down even more. My depression got a hold of me tighter than it ever had in my life. For the first time in my life I was considering hurting myself. I considered driving off the road. I'm still hurting. I'm still broken. But I have the best boss ever and she has been a guiding light through the breakup and today she helped talk me through things. Then she found this website and sent me here. So here I am. Broken. Hurt. And seeking help. I'm so young and inexperienced in life. I don't know where to go and j don't know what to do. Work is difficult to fake when your job involves retail customer service. I want someone to hold me. But I have no friends. My depression stems from a struggle with severe loneliness. That's why I tried way too hard in the relationship. I smothered her with what I wanted her to see as love. My voice in my head is telling me to run away. Far away. I don't know what to do