Katatonic
09-03-2008, 05:55 AM
I'm really at a bad point in my life now. I'm getting to the point that i wont even leave my house to go to the shops. I feel my anxiety is getting worse, I'm to scared to learn to drive, go to party's and even get a job.
I am really suffering from it. I don't think that my life will ever improve because there is a hereditary chemical imbalance down my mothers side of the family who have a long history of mental illness.
so I'm basically screwed no matter what. also I've never been able to control my thoughts and my mind always races but recently Ive been getting dark thoughts of my family getting murdered or killing someone, it might sound weird but i really cant control it, it just pops into my head and stays there it's really messing me up.
i don't know if it has anything to do with it but recently i gave up pot, it used to make me calm and happy but recently its just making me think sad and painful thoughts. I really do not know what to do i just feel utterly hopeless
I am really suffering from it. I don't think that my life will ever improve because there is a hereditary chemical imbalance down my mothers side of the family who have a long history of mental illness.
so I'm basically screwed no matter what. also I've never been able to control my thoughts and my mind always races but recently Ive been getting dark thoughts of my family getting murdered or killing someone, it might sound weird but i really cant control it, it just pops into my head and stays there it's really messing me up.
i don't know if it has anything to do with it but recently i gave up pot, it used to make me calm and happy but recently its just making me think sad and painful thoughts. I really do not know what to do i just feel utterly hopeless