Soooo

[mrslizzyg]

Its 12:30am..

My husbNd and I had "the talk" about wether or not we could make our lives work together, with his religious beliefs being so strict & me not going to church.


He literally told me that he KNOWS better(because of his religion) & that his future kids should not be raised outside of the church. That he feels it is his responsibility to raise his kids in the church, and by staying with me he is compromising & will later suffer consequences from God in the afterlife, if he stays with me. This is because I make "poor" choices the church disagrees with and he cannot have the mother of his kids exposing them to those things.(seriously, drinking coffee is one of them.)

It doesnt even matter if I sm supportive of HIM raising them to believe the church. I have to be full time active for it to count.


Happy f*ckin birthday to me.

[Goomba]

Welp.

I thought I was a good person, but I guess I'm causing the end of days.

I wonder if I can atone for my coffee drinking.

[mrslizzyg]

According to him, you will see the truth whenyou die (that they were right and no one else), understand the errors in your way, and ask for forgiveness.


Sigh. Im not sorry for drinking coffee, though. There is the conflict..

And, I think his church offers some really great values and stuff.. But its too complex forme to wrap my head around. I tried for 4 years and was miserable..

[Goomba]

It seems like you're getting closer to your answer.

[MiST]

Whoa! It sounds like the Asylum is missing a patient!

He berates you for drinking coffee? Seriously?

Erm..LOL

So basically his kids are going to end up like Rod and Todd Flanders? Yea that sounds Stella..:p

I never understood religion personally, not my cup of tea, I know not to kill people or steal and I think that's good enough..

Dude sounds like a complete muppet if you ask me, comes across as very self-righteous and he belittles you by saying he's "compromising"

You should tell him that "God" invented coffee too..well, the beans at least..

[Im-Suffering]

Lizzy, my suggestion is to see a psychologist to help sort out your thoughts and feelings. I dont want you to get hurt, or feel guilt or remorse after the fact. It can only help for you to talk with a professional. i know this may seem like the last thing to do at the moment, but its actually the first thing for anyone to do. your not alone.

I hope you do.

[gadguy]

Its 12:30am..

My husbNd and I had "the talk" about wether or not we could make our lives work together, with his religious beliefs being so strict & me not going to church.


He literally told me that he KNOWS better(because of his religion) & that his future kids should not be raised outside of the church. That he feels it is his responsibility to raise his kids in the church, and by staying with me he is compromising & will later suffer consequences from God in the afterlife, if he stays with me. This is because I make "poor" choices the church disagrees with and he cannot have the mother of his kids exposing them to those things.(seriously, drinking coffee is one of them.)

It doesnt even matter if I sm supportive of HIM raising them to believe the church. I have to be full time active for it to count.


Happy f*ckin birthday to me.


Well at least you know were you stand, however I am sorry for you having to go through this. I understand were you are coming from, but ones religious conviction if done right are your guide for life. Once several years ago i was dating a nice woman and we were getting along great, I'm a Christian and i assumed she was...however it came out later that she was a Pagan. i thought I could handle it...I'm open minded...however I could not and we ended it before relationship went any further, but still friends.

Again sorry for your troubles...and Happy Birthday....for what its worth...take care

[Dahila]

Religion and believes should not separate people, they should connect people, every religion is about being good, decent, not to do harm to others. Respect the world and people. Stupid rules like drinking or not drinking coffee, or tea or maybe pop eventually, should not interfere with family life. Lizzy you should talk to someone, it seems that your relationship does not work well.
Do you mind to tell us what religion it is? I am just very interested in it in general.
Gadguy, I am surprise you could not date pagan, pagans believe in nature, and try to live clean and pure life...........

[Kuma]

So I guess he's not going to buy you a Starbucks gift card for your birthday??

You wanted him to be candid, and it sounds like he has been. If he is not willing to be married to someone who does not adhere to and practice his particular religious faith -- and you do not adhere to and practice that faith -- then you sort of have your answer.

The merits (or lack of merits) of his religious beliefs are sort of beside the point. I mean, if he believed that every person will go to hell if they do not begin each day by singing "Crocodile Rock" while bowing down to a stuffed hippopotamus, and would only be married to someone if they believed the same and engaged in that practice with sincerity and devotion -- and you were not in the same place -- it would not work. Whether he is right or wrong about singing to the hippo is beside the point.

(I express no view about whether the LDS idea of Jesus wandering around upstate New York a couple of hundred years ago is more, or less, ridiculous than singling Crocodile Rock to a stuffed hippopotamus -- it does not matter -- the problem is a fundamental difference of beliefs AND his unwillingness to live with someone who does not share his belief).

Maybe it is good that he is being candid with you...

Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

[jessed03]

Happy birthday, Lizzy. Not that it sounds like a very good one at the moment.

[JohnC]

Happy birthday, Lizzy.
You have some sole searching and some tough decisions to make it sounds like. Be strong and trust your instinct. Peace

[mrslizzyg]

Thank you for all the support and the Birthday wishes. I consider myself lucky to have found this forum with all of you guys and the support you offer. Even when I don't come on here every day and talk to people, I know I have this place to go to and that you guys will be there with encouragement and understanding. I sincerely appreciate that.

I haven't left my house or anything yet. I am just trying to make sense of everything. My heart and my brain are in two different places right now, and it's extremely confusing.

For those wondering, my husband is Mormon, or LDS. They have a lot of.. unique? religious beliefs. [Most of]The morals the church is built on are great- but there are a lot of other things that are questionable to me that I whole heartedly disagree with. I have told my husband many times that whenever we had children, he had every right to take them to church and I would not say anything disrespectful about the church to them. I would just be open and honest about why I was not involved...

Their church lives off the idea that families are forever. Which is a great theory.. BUT.. you are only a "forever family" if the whole family is involved in the Mormon church. Those who did not "except" the true church here on earth will still have "time to redeem" themselves in the afterlife, but those who knew better(aka my husband who was raised in it) will be held responsible and possibly punished if he does not do "his best" to raise his family in the church... and that is where I come in... I am "not the best" choice..

As weird as this may sound to some of you, I told him he is the one who needs to make this choice.

I KNOW what I what. I love my husband very much, and I am willing to be understanding and respecting of his belief system in our future family. In return, I am asking he do the same for me.. and he is either capable of that, or he is not.

Me leaving would make me feel like I gave up, and me leaving is not WHAT I WANT. I got back into the relationship knowing who I was getting and I intend to stand by that. If he doesn't want me to be the mother to his children, he needs to be a grown man and make that choice on his own. I will not walk away and make it "easy" for him. I am going to stand my ground until he tells me otherwise, or starts to treat me poorly, because of course I will not stick around for that.

I feel in my heart he knows I am a good person and that I will be a good mother. I know that I will be.. I feel that the fear his religion has put in his mind and his heart is conflicting for him.. and I am going to stick around and be by his side until he figures it out... All I asked of him is that he figure it out sooner rather than later.. as to not jeopardize both of us having a future with others..

I know a lot of you are probably going to disagree with my decision... and that is fine. I am just going to continue to do me, and better myself every day. He will either love me for it or decide to move on with his life. I will respect him for making a choice and I am at a place where I am ready to handle which ever one is decided. But I am going to stick to the promises that I made..

[MiST]

I so badly want to drop a Mormon meme up in this thread..:p

Ahh screw it..:D

http://www.ldssmile.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Mormon-LDS-Meme-Funny-39.jpg

[jessed03]

You know I can't resist a good meme.

http://futuremissionary.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/tumblr_mgo6cvvKUh1qd5giho1_500.jpg

[jessed03]

Liz, it's your life. You don't have to explain your decisions to anybody. I think everybody here knows how much you want your relationship to work. I can't blame you for not wanting to quit. :)

I think as long as you have boundaries, then whatever you do is ok. If you don't have boundaries, you do risk becoming a doormat or losing your husband's respect completely. For instance, don't let anybody make you feel guilty about the way you live your life. Don't make anybody make you feel that your beliefs are inferior to another's. Know what you'll tolerate and what you won't, and enforce that. That doesn't just apply to your hubby either, but everybody, really. Of course he's probably most at risk of abusing such boundaries due to what I've read so far. Hopefully he's changed now though.

As long as you do that, you'll be ok, hun. When opposing religious beliefs are involved I don't see too many relationships last, but you never know. You guys may be able to find some neutral ground somewhere that allows you both to be happy. Just decide on your boundaries and keep them. If you do start to become like a leaf being blown about in the wind, I totally will hit you with an empty tequila bottle!!!!

[MiST]

What Jesse said..with added..

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/6a/52/04/6a520429bbed8d56c2f682bb21a25c53.jpg

[Ponder]

It's without a doubt that others in the church will coerce him to move on without you if you do not conform. I understand your wish to let him make that choice. If he has been indoctrinated from birth, then It's going to be very hard for him to give up that church. I wish you the best of luck.

[Ponder]

__________
__

I wanted to join in with the memes, but this was the only appropriate one I could find:

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/Indoctrination_zpsletmlt3c.jpg

I speak from Child Hood experience:



Einstein give me hope - Miracles can happen:

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/education_zpsswd6bdab.gif




But then there is this:

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/d51b5bc7003cb1d3691e9c0f2bab707b05581ba324a567e2fd 9648a2d14684c3_zpsvnq9h1pb.jpg


Or: Regarding an open mind for children to make their own choices when reaching an age of reason:

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/055-Delaying-Indoctrination-650x310_zpscijipndd.jpg

OK - I run for the door now. areeba areeba andalay!

[Kuma]

Thank you for all the support and the Birthday wishes. I consider myself lucky to have found this forum with all of you guys and the support you offer. Even when I don't come on here every day and talk to people, I know I have this place to go to and that you guys will be there with encouragement and understanding. I sincerely appreciate that.

I haven't left my house or anything yet. I am just trying to make sense of everything. My heart and my brain are in two different places right now, and it's extremely confusing.

For those wondering, my husband is Mormon, or LDS. They have a lot of.. unique? religious beliefs. [Most of]The morals the church is built on are great- but there are a lot of other things that are questionable to me that I whole heartedly disagree with. I have told my husband many times that whenever we had children, he had every right to take them to church and I would not say anything disrespectful about the church to them. I would just be open and honest about why I was not involved...

Their church lives off the idea that families are forever. Which is a great theory.. BUT.. you are only a "forever family" if the whole family is involved in the Mormon church. Those who did not "except" the true church here on earth will still have "time to redeem" themselves in the afterlife, but those who knew better(aka my husband who was raised in it) will be held responsible and possibly punished if he does not do "his best" to raise his family in the church... and that is where I come in... I am "not the best" choice..

As weird as this may sound to some of you, I told him he is the one who needs to make this choice.

I KNOW what I what. I love my husband very much, and I am willing to be understanding and respecting of his belief system in our future family. In return, I am asking he do the same for me.. and he is either capable of that, or he is not.

Me leaving would make me feel like I gave up, and me leaving is not WHAT I WANT. I got back into the relationship knowing who I was getting and I intend to stand by that. If he doesn't want me to be the mother to his children, he needs to be a grown man and make that choice on his own. I will not walk away and make it "easy" for him. I am going to stand my ground until he tells me otherwise, or starts to treat me poorly, because of course I will not stick around for that.

I feel in my heart he knows I am a good person and that I will be a good mother. I know that I will be.. I feel that the fear his religion has put in his mind and his heart is conflicting for him.. and I am going to stick around and be by his side until he figures it out... All I asked of him is that he figure it out sooner rather than later.. as to not jeopardize both of us having a future with others..

I know a lot of you are probably going to disagree with my decision... and that is fine. I am just going to continue to do me, and better myself every day. He will either love me for it or decide to move on with his life. I will respect him for making a choice and I am at a place where I am ready to handle which ever one is decided. But I am going to stick to the promises that I made..


This is a very thoughtful email. You are handling a tough situation with great equanimity. I wish you all the best.

[mrslizzyg]

LOL- all those memes put a smile on my face. I take no offense to any of them.

For the record, Mist, it IS SO WEIRD being called "sister" or calling other people "sister/brother" when I don't even call my own blood sister that to her face. I call her by her first name.. I don't call for "sister"!!


Ponder- Well, the good news is, that most people in the church actually encourage him to work out his marriage. Under what circumstances they stand by, I am not sure. The only people really pressuring him otherwise are his parents. They think their son is the "completely package" because he is their first born, and that he "did everything right", only to end up with "someone like me." Ouch.

Jesse- Thank you for the response.. it's been a little while since I have heard one of your wise and insightful posts. :)
I know most people with religious differences don't work out their relationships.. religion is suppose to be "all about family" when I feel like people use it more often to rip apart their families if everyone doesn't agree. Oh the irony..

I'm not sure my efforts or my thoughts are going to matter. My husband seems to be emotionally withdrawing from me as the days go on. He even came home with a birthday present for me yesterday, and when I went to kiss him to say thank you, he kissed two of his fingers and put them on my lips. Really?

He sent me a text today saying he thinks he needs some space.

I am just trying to remain positive and keep my head up. I just feel like an idiot if this doesn't work out. I was in this situation a year ago and here I am again..

Also, if this marriage doesn't work out- I am not sure I ever want to put myself into this type of situation again. I absolutely believe in love and all of that but.. nothing is ever guaranteed and I need stability in my life. I am the only person who can provide that constantly..

[MiST]

I went to kiss him to say thank you, he kissed two of his fingers and put them on my lips

https://lornasvoice.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/maxwell_smart__confused.gif#confused%20gif%20200x1 52

Is he secretly gay? Because he sounds it..i mean seriously, what straight man does that? LOL


I'll just drop this here..

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/2424152/he-man-o.gif

[mrslizzyg]

Right?! It totally caught me off guard. I felt like I had cooties or something..

[Tesla_Servo]

Its 12:30am..

My husbNd and I had "the talk" about wether or not we could make our lives work together, with his religious beliefs being so strict & me not going to church.


He literally told me that he KNOWS better(because of his religion) & that his future kids should not be raised outside of the church. That he feels it is his responsibility to raise his kids in the church, and by staying with me he is compromising & will later suffer consequences from God in the afterlife, if he stays with me. This is because I make "poor" choices the church disagrees with and he cannot have the mother of his kids exposing them to those things.(seriously, drinking coffee is one of them.)

It doesnt even matter if I sm supportive of HIM raising them to believe the church. I have to be full time active for it to count.


Happy f*ckin birthday to me.

Formerly-devout & religious-guy-turned-agnostic-after-growing-up-and-realizing-that-santa claus-wasn't-real-either here.

You're in a tricky position because your husband probably isn't a bad guy, just someone who is convinced that he's on some "righteous path" and just wants to make sure his kid would be too (which is probably what every caring parent who aggressively believes he's on a righteous path should want for his kid).

Regardless of his intentions, what your husband aspires to do is to brainwash his and YOUR prospective children. Now I don't know what your incentives are for "supporting him" to raise your kids in accordance with the church are, but I would have a problem with allowing my prospective wife to brainwash my prospective kids with church beliefs if our positions were reversed. (I mean I probably turned out okay and don't resent my parents for convincing me that a "god" was around like some sort of a long lost uncle who didn't seem to be around but seemed to care about me and my problems nonetheless and was apparently really powerful too - kinda like some comic book character, but I STILL wouldn't want my kids to be fed these beliefs and raised a certain way - I think it would be incredibly confusing to them as well if both their parents were not on board with god and religion...)

It's also important to realize that your don't need religion or a church to raise good level headed children.

Maybe I don't completely understand your situation or maybe I'm just not very insightful, but to me it seems like what you need to examine your incentives for being supportive of your husband on raising church-going kids (are you just being a lazy when it comes to the whole god scene or are you actually questioning your beliefs?) and either be willing to assist him in leading a exemplary religious church-approved life for your children's sake, or tell your husband that you're not quite on board with brainwashing your kids.

As with many situations in life, we don't usually get to both save a cake and eat it at the same time, and unfortunately it's difficult to argue with religious people considering as they appear to be under the impression that god appreciates their narrow-mindedness.

All the best.

First you need to figure out what you believe.
Next you need to figure out what you think is best for your kids.
Next you need to maybe ask yourself whether you're thinking what you're thinking because you're afraid of losing your husband or whether it's what you actually believe.
You also need to realize that out of the 7 billion global population there's probably like at least 1 million good men out there somewhere with whom you can mutually achieve whatever comes closest to living happily ever after and there are plenty of hardcore christian girls who would ACTUALLY want to be the kind of wife and mother your husband wants them to be as well...

EDIT: (Because I missed the part where you said your husband wants you to give up consuming coffee, and because I had suggested that one of your options was to get on board with your husband on the religion thing for your kid's sake if not for your own)

So I doubt it would make a significant difference if your husband was Christian, Catholic, Jewish or even Muslim for that matter. However, if your husband is Mormon somehow, I take back my advice to you. As someone who's been introduced to Mormonism as a consequence of having had a lot of Mormon friends, and having looked into some of the details associated with that religion, I feel it is important to convey that Mormons believe in things like - the existence of certain metal alloys even before humans figured out the science required for mixing different metal elements together and making alloys, (which is just one of many weird tales) and so, I feel compelled to point out that it would probably negatively impact your future kids' intelligence to be exposed to the Mormon doctrine... You don't even have to take my word for it - do some research yourself and try to be a responsible parent who understands the gravity of creating and having a significant impact on the type of people their kids will become and what type of lives they will end up leading and even what type of influence they would have on society and their own kids and their grand-kids

[MiST]

Right?! It totally caught me off guard. I felt like I had cooties or something..

You can kiss me..get over here girl! Haha..

https://www.halforums.com/xenforo/attachments/sloth-goonies-gif.5914/

[mrslizzyg]

none of this matters anyways because my soon t be ex husband has decided he wants out.


Also, he had sex with me first, THEN told me he wants a divorce.

The emotional mind fuck from that is overwhelming.

I feel like I wanna die. My heart hurts. My head hurts. My stomach hurts. Everything.

[MiST]

he had sex with me first, THEN told me he wants a divorce.

http://gifs.gifbin.com/102009/1255605321_shocked.gif

What a scumbag! You should cut it off..

I dislike this "man" and i use that term loosely more and more with each passing day. You deserve better than this idiot, sorry, but that's what he is.

If he would rather choose his church over you then i say let him have it, go and find yourself a real man who will treat you with respect.

He will end up a lonely and sad man.

Chin up mate, this seems like a total blessing in disguise to me, you can be free..

[mrslizzyg]

holy fuck you have no idea how happy I am you are online.

What doesnt make sense is that I am not even asking him to forfeit his religion. Its just the fact that I will not live in the church.

I GAVE HIM DIVORCE PAPERS A YEAR AGO WHEN I LEFT THE CHURCH!!! He came back to be with ME!!!

But now here I am after I reinvested my heart, my life, and my time..

Im heartbroken. I dont want to be "free". I wanted him. The thought of him with another girl makes me want to die.. But I guess I better figure out how to live.

[MiST]

holy fuck you have no idea how happy I am you are online.

What doesnt make sense is that I am not even asking him to forfeit his religion. Its just the fact that I will not live in the church.

I GAVE HIM DIVORCE PAPERS A YEAR AGO WHEN I LEFT THE CHURCH!!! He came back to be with ME!!!

But now here I am after I reinvested my heart, my life, and my time..

Im heartbroken. I dont want to be "free". I wanted him. The thought of him with another girl makes me want to die.. But I guess I better figure out how to live.

It sounds like he doesn't want any girl to be honest, he's so far up gods ass or whatever the hell it is he believes in!

The guy is clearly deluded if he doesn't want you, and to screw you and then say he wants a divorce? That's such a low blow..

Do you still have those divorce papers? I would shove them down his throat and make him eat them..scumbag!

He is not a man, real men don't treat women like that..does his faith tell him to treat women like shit?

As someone on the outside looking in, all i can say is "YOU DESERVE BETTER" and this "PISS POOR EXCUSE FOR A MAN" is poison for you.

You may not see it yet, or want to see it because love can blind you to reality, but you need to leave this idiot ASAP

[mrslizzyg]

Well we do still have the papers. Why? He kept them after he told me he didnt.

Idk. I dont have a choice anyways, I cant fake believe in a religion for him..

I just have to figure out where to live..

Yea, the sex thing really gets to me. Its emotional for me. I felt super connected to him and then BAM heartbroken.

Fuck. I just want to crawl in a hole and sleep for a year. Is that too much to ask?

[MiST]

Well we do still have the papers. Why? He kept them after he told me he didnt.

Idk. I dont have a choice anyways, I cant fake believe in a religion for him..

I just have to figure out where to live..

Yea, the sex thing really gets to me. Its emotional for me. I felt super connected to him and then BAM heartbroken.

Fuck. I just want to crawl in a hole and sleep for a year. Is that too much to ask?

That's insanity! not even bears sleep for an entire year!

Seriously, it sounds like you know the score and know what needs to be done. Of course you shouldn't have to fake believe in something in order to appease someone else, thats just ridiculous. I guess he doesn't respect you in the slightest, it sure comes across that way.

Where to live? Come to the UK, i'll take care of you..:D

You know, you could troll him and tell him you have HIV or some other classy STD..LOL..watch the look on his face..Bwahahaha

I feel your pain though, iv'e been there, had my heart ripped out by someone who i thought cared for me, and yea it sucks. But this is YOUR life and he is depriving you of YOUR HAPPINESS because he is a selfish and self-righteous (did i spell that right?) loser.

Onwards and upwards MsLizzy (see what i did there..:p)

Now run! RUN FOR THE HILLS!

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2013/07/running.gif

[jessed03]

Ah, Lizzy. That sounds so horrible. I'm sorry.

[mrslizzyg]

That meme made me smile. And that says a lot as I am laying in a puddle of snot and tears and can barely breath.

It just.. Hurts. Im more sad about the good memories I have with him. And this life I started to build. He was my best friend at one point. Its ridiculous how religions are suppose to be all about love and shit but I have yet to meet anyone in a strict religion that doesnt shun outsiders. In my own opinion I ammore "Christ-like" than those individuals will ever be because I accept people for who they are.

Thats all I want. Someone to love and except me for who I am.

I joined this forum to find help for my marriage. I ended up finding strength for what was to come, and a great group of friends.

Thank you Mist.. Not being alone tonight has helped.

[mrslizzyg]

Ah, Lizzy. That sounds so horrible. I'm sorry.


Thanks, Jess.

If im honest I thought I felt bad heartbreak at 15 when my first "true love" left me. This feels much, much worse.

Im not ok. But i will be.

[MiST]

Tell him you have developed a keen interest in satanism and watch him run for the hills..

Or is he liable to come at you with a bunch of beard toting, pitchfork wielding, crazy as fuck servants of god?

Mwahahahaha..

Behold the face of an angry mormon..

http://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/2ef0db73781f5e42879969972e532e2ee8a982bf/c=0-75-1988-1568&r=490x368/local/-/media/USATODAY/GenericImages/2014/06/12/1402614126000-AP-Theater-Review-The-Book-of-Mormon.jpg

[mrslizzyg]

I will go wiccan. Say im gonna cast some spells and that i took some of his hair from the sink to use in my potions. Lol

I clearly need sleep. But i dont see that in my future.

[MiST]

I will go wiccan. Say im gonna cast some spells and that i took some of his hair from the sink to use in my potions. Lol

I clearly need sleep. But i dont see that in my future.

Or just put his picture online with the sub-text "Man with worlds smallest penis discovered"

http://www.gurl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Dawson_Crying.gif

Bwahahaha..:D

[JohnC]

Dang Lizzy, What an ass he sounds like. I don't make enough ( Yet ) to put up a mistress but give me a year and i'll give you a call :)
Watch Mist...................................He is always standing behind me

[MiST]

Watch Mist...................................He is always standing behind me

Who says i'm standing? :D

http://media.giphy.com/media/NIvUx6LX6w3lu/giphy.gif

[mrslizzyg]

Dang Lizzy, What an ass he sounds like. I don't make enough ( Yet ) to put up a mistress but give me a year and i'll give you a call :)
Watch Mist...................................He is always standing behind me

Like everyone is saying.. I must be the lucky one getting out. Good to know I have options ;)

I know I have made my fair share of mistakes in my marriage... But truly, i havent done anything besides not want to joinhis church, to deserve to be left alone.

[MiST]

I went to church once, i watched two pigeons having sex..

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/true-story-neil-patrick-harris.png

[JohnC]

Like everyone is saying.. I must be the lucky one getting out. Good to know I have options ;)

I know I have made my fair share of mistakes in my marriage... But truly, i havent done anything besides not want to joinhis church, to deserve to be left alone.

Sometimes things happen for a reason. You may not see it now but you will. Your sole mate is just waiting for you. I wish I would have found my sole mate, I love my wife but were not sole mates.
P.s. dont let Pam and Dahlia know I was flirting Cuz I been working those two gals for over a year :). Try and smile

[jessed03]

John, you're killing me here. Brilliant! :D

You're right about your comment on some aspects of Christianity though, Liz. Jesus would hang out with hookers and lepers, according to the bible, yet some denominations think you're unworthy if you don't subscribe to their exact philosophy on how to live life. It's very bizarre.

[MiST]

He hung out with hookers? Whoa what a player..:D

[Kuma]

Lizzy -- I am sorry to hear of the pain you are going through. Even if this is ultimately for the best, in the short term I know it is not easy. But I also know, from reading what you have posted here, that you will emerge stronger and will meet someone who appreciates you for who you are and does not expect you to conform to their vision of what you "should be." As they said in one of Broadway's best musicals, Hasa Diga Eebowai!

[MiST]

Hasa Diga Eebowai!

Is that a flavour of ice-cream? :p

[Tesla_Servo]

MiST: It means "fuck you god"

mrslizzyg: It doesn't really sound like either you or your husband are bad people. Your husband only sounds like a human being who probably fell for you, and was either optimistic about you embracing the church later on, or just totally failed to think about what would happen next altogether, and was subsequently guilted by his religious beliefs to feeling like the right move for him was to back out. In fact I personally know several people who ended up getting married to people who didn't share their religious enthusiasm.... probably like 1 out of 6 cases ended well for the couple.

I would advice you to try to accept the reality of things without feeling bitter about it or despising your husband. After all you can't blame him for harboring his religious beliefs any more than he can't (or shouldn't) blame you for not wanting to engage with the church. After all, all this is probably what the saying "love is blind" is based off of.... guilt is often the name of the game where religion is concerned, and excessive guilt does tend to cause people to change their minds. It probably doesn't necessarily mean that your husband never loved you, and that all this has been a lie. it could just be that he was once your genuine soul mate and now that person simply doesn't exist anymore.

You just can't compete with religion. Religion is supposedly larger than life - but as I said before, not every guy will want you to either compete with religion or embrace it. What you can do is to embrace the pain, have a few cries, and remind yourself that this moment will pass... after all... why wouldn't you bounce back? People don't necessarily give up riding bicycles if they lose balance and fall over a couple of times do they? Pretty soon this little hiccup will feel like that thing that happened to you way back when you were 14 or 15, which you've forgotten about.

Gloria Gaynor would say:

You will survive
Oh as long as you know how to love
You know you will stay alive
you've got all your life to live
you've got all your love to give
and you'll survive
you will survive
yea yea

[MiST]

He screwed her and then asked for a divorce! That's a shitty move even by a mormons standards..

[Tesla_Servo]

Nobody's disputing that the move is shitty, but people end up pulling "shitty moves" not necessarily ALWAYS because they are shitty people, but because they could have ended up doing something which they might subsequently have begun to feel was a mistake, and consequently begin to regret it and then go on to do whatever it would takes to try and correct their mistake.... which others might interpret as "shitty moves".

I have no clue whether this guy is actually a shitty man or whether he's actually an okay man who might have given into his biological and emotional urges without thinking things through and grown to regret it when he realized that his church wouldn't approve of his decision and possibly began to feel duty-bound to his prospective children to make sure that their mother was a devout LDS nutjob like him. There are these things called "paradigm shifts" that people tend to experience from time to time too.

There's this old maxim I've heard which I think originates from buddhist philosophy... it goes something like "hating someone else is like consuming poison (yourself) and waiting for the other person to die".

[NixonRulz]

Dang, Linz. I just got caught up on all your happenings. I thought you were kidding when you said that on FB

Sorry you are dealing with this

And just for the record, I would never bang you and ask for a divorce.

Probably just ask you to dress up like a leprechaun and let me chase you round the house with your box of Lucky Charms

You stay strong and drink lots

[gypsylee]

I will go wiccan. Say im gonna cast some spells and that i took some of his hair from the sink to use in my potions. Lol

I clearly need sleep. But i dont see that in my future.

I can hook you up with some serious spell-casting peeps ;)

[MiST]

Magic will not work on mormons!

Not even Gandalf himself can summon enough power to defeat them..your only option is to use the awesome power of the internet..:p

P.S Mormon sounds like something you would dunk into your tea or coffee..Haha!

[gypsylee]

It also sounds suspiciously like "moron"...

[MiST]

It also sounds suspiciously like "moron"...

http://makeameme.org/media/created/Hes-right-you.jpg

[NixonRulz]

1607

....

[jessed03]

1607

....


Wonder if he gave those kids a coke to go with the six inch.

[MiST]

Lol...

Wonder if he gave those kids a coke to go with the six inch.

Six is a little generous don't you think? :p

[gadguy]

Maybe I'm to sesative and if so I apologize but, making fun of someones religion and jokes about a pedophile...just does not seem right. Again if I am out of line I'm sorry.

[NixonRulz]

Maybe I'm to sesative and if so I apologize but, making fun of someones religion and jokes about a pedophile...just does not seem right. Again if I am out of line I'm sorry.

You aren't too sensitive. I think the way a Mormon is treating Hot Lindsey is just bothering some people. Mormons are fine with me. Like any other religion

Jared is a jackass. Being a pedophile is not cool and they too are jackasses. It is just a joke

The only thing that pedophiles do that I admire is they drive slowly through school zones

Okay, that was a bad joke too but sometimes you have to laugh or you will cry

[gadguy]

You aren't too sensitive. I think the way a Mormon is treating Hot Lindsey is just bothering some people. Mormons are fine with me. Like any other religion

Jared is a jackass. Being a pedophile is not cool and they too are jackasses. It is just a joke

The only thing that pedophiles do that I admire is they drive slowly through school zones

Okay, that was a bad joke too but sometimes you have to laugh or you will cry

OK I get it but I don't like lumping a group of people together because of the behavior of one. I just put myself in the shoes of Mormon who may come to this site for help and what they may think after reading this thread or someone who had been a victim of a pedophile. That's just were I'm coming from.

[gypsylee]

It actually does sound like "moron" though :) I'd say that no matter who it was.

[jessed03]

It actually does sound like "moron" though :) I'd say that no matter who it was.

Yes dear, but you need to remember this forum isn't like Australia. There are rules here.

[jessed03]

OK I get it but I don't like lumping a group of people together because of the behavior of one. I just put myself in the shoes of Mormon who may come to this site for help and what they may think after reading this thread or someone who had been a victim of a pedophile. That's just were I'm coming from.

You don't have to apologise for speaking your mind, GG. It's ok. You're right. We did let it get a bit risky. We're on such close terms with Lizzy through FB that a few of us sort of forgot we're talking on a mainstream forum for a moment.

[MiST]

People still use facebook? LOL

[gypsylee]

Yes dear, but you need to remember this forum isn't like Australia. There are rules here.

Stop bullying me :(

[jessed03]

Stop bullying me :(

Lol. What have you been doing lately? I've hardly seen you for the last couple of months.

P.s. this is the last post of mine that'll be a thread hijack.

[NixonRulz]

Lol. What have you been doing lately? I've hardly seen you for the last couple of months.

P.s. this is the last post of mine that'll be a thread hijack.

She keeps busy posting climate change posts on FB. And sometimes yelling at people for burning coal.

[mrslizzyg]

You don't have to apologize for speaking your mind, GG. It's ok. You're right. We did let it get a bit risky. We're on such close terms with Lizzy through FB that a few of us sort of forgot we're talking on a mainstream forum for a moment.

LOL, Jesse you deleted me on FB. what are you talkin about? =P

I'm not offended by any of this post.. but GG don't feel like you can't speak your mind. I totally see where you are coming from.
They were just trying to cheer me up. :)


Thank you guys, for caring about me. It's nice to have this place.
I am holding up ok. Not my best, but ok. :)

[jessed03]

LOL, Jesse you deleted me on FB. what are you talkin about? =P

Did I? Whoops, was aiming for Gypsy... (Jk, Gypsy...)

Are you managing to keep busy?

[NixonRulz]

Don't feel bad, Linz. People delete me on there all the time

I would probably delete me too. :D

[mrslizzyg]

Uh huh, likely story Jesse.. lol jk. :)

Yes, thankfully I have family and friends that like to keep me company..

Nixon- I would never delete you! :)

and I don't feel bad.. I'm pretty awesome so it's Jesse's loss ;)

[NixonRulz]

And rockin the team jersey getting ready for the real kind of football!

Not a bad look. Nope. Not a bad look

[mrslizzyg]

I gotta rep my team! Born and raised in Seattle :)

Thanks! It's not a jersey cuz I'm too broke to pay for one but it works haha

[NixonRulz]

Ravens and Seahawks would be a great Super Bowl

I am sorry that your team would lose

[mrslizzyg]

Hahahahahahahahahaha.


whatever you need to say to help yourself sleep at night. ;)

[NixonRulz]

Let's place a bet......

I will bet the Ravens will go deeper in the playoffs. And the AFC North is a much tougher division

[gypsylee]

Lol. What have you been doing lately? I've hardly seen you for the last couple of months.

P.s. this is the last post of mine that'll be a thread hijack.

Nothing really. Oh I stayed in a beachside penthouse for a week, you know, the usual..

[gypsylee]

She keeps busy posting climate change posts on FB. And sometimes yelling at people for burning coal.

You loved the polar bear playing in the flowers lol