Struggling with a bad week

[anxietyauntie]

This last week has been really difficult for me.

I have been having issues with my boss at work for over a year now but it has finally come to a head where I have made a formal complaint. I was so proud of myself for taking that step, but now I can't stop feeling anxious about it. He works on the same floor as me, and I see him every day. It is eating me up inside that he knows that I have made a complaint, and I am so incredibly anxious about what the outcome will be.

Unfortunately this has started a vicious cycle. I am getting so wound up that I have lost most of my appetite, and I'm hardly sleeping. This has lead to me being anxious about the fact that I am hardly eating or sleeping.
I have also started to withdraw. As I type this I am sitting in my bedroom because my flatmates are just too much for me to cope with right now (I only live with two flatmates and my fiance). I am struggling with getting up in the mornings, and the only thing that is driving me to go to work is the fears of having people talk about why I am not there.

And all of this feels so incredibly overwhelming. I know that its because my perspective has shifted after 3-4 really really good weeks, but man it actually physically hurts to feel like I am sliding back down that big black hole of anxiousness. I am scared that I am starting to get more and more upset and withdrawn with each bad period I have - it is almost like the good periods are making the bad periods worse? I just don't know how to deal with it right now. I just can't see past that big ball of anxiousness that is curdling in my stomach and sitting heavy on my chest.

And I know that we all feel that way, but boy did the vent above help. I can't begin to describe how nice it is to feel safe when talking about all of the anxiety I am feeling. It almost takes the wind out of its sails...almost.

[mrslizzyg]

I wanted to just respond to this and say how I am sorry you are going through such a tough times.

Jobs can be a real pain in the butt.. the people we work with can make or break the whole experience.

That being said, have you started putting your resume out there for a new job?

I currently am also unhappy at my job- but I have felt better just knowing that my resume is out there and I am trying to get out.
It may help you.

good luck :)

[anxietyauntie]

Thank you for the reply mrslizzyg - it is always reassuring when someone replies with empathy as opposed to 'huh? that's stupid!'

I have put my resume out and I actually have a job interview next week. It has definitely helped me feel more in control, but obviously the other problem still exists at the moment.

Thank you for the support :)

[futureglory263]

hey there, and wishing you well on the job interview!
sorry to hear about the rough situation you're in.. we all deal with a lot of different personalities at work, and it's just not possible to get along well with every single person. anxiety has a bad nature of provoking more anxiety..that's just how it seems to like to work =/
but..like all things in life that bring us down, i know you will fight back =) you say it's helped to get things off your chest. do you have close friends or family that you are able to talk with about this, or something like talk therapy? have you seen or talked with your doctor?
if you really feel like it's helping to talk with someone, please reach out to those you feel comfortable with. you can also continue to share with us on this forum, we are listening =)

[anxietyauntie]

hey there, and wishing you well on the job interview!
sorry to hear about the rough situation you're in.. we all deal with a lot of different personalities at work, and it's just not possible to get along well with every single person. anxiety has a bad nature of provoking more anxiety..that's just how it seems to like to work =/
but..like all things in life that bring us down, i know you will fight back =) you say it's helped to get things off your chest. do you have close friends or family that you are able to talk with about this, or something like talk therapy? have you seen or talked with your doctor?
if you really feel like it's helping to talk with someone, please reach out to those you feel comfortable with. you can also continue to share with us on this forum, we are listening =)

Hi and thank you for the well wishes! I will try let you all know if it goes well...

I have been seeing my doctor and also a therapist. I am on medication and I am trying all the techniques I have learnt.
Unfortunately I dont have any close friends or family who actually deal with anxiety themselves. My father deals with depression and is a life saver in that he is always there to talk to, but he is physically in a different country.
My fiance trys, he really does. And most of the time he helps.. but at the moment it is difficult. He is sitting around looking at all the chores that aren't done, the pantry that is bare and the laundry that he needs done. He wants to fix these things by getting me to get up and help, and I really want to, but when my head feels like it is exploding and I am struggling I don't really care about these things. I can't focus on them and for him that means he can't fix it. If that makes sense?

This forum has really been so crazy helpful. I didn't even think it would help when my therapist suggested it but I am so incredibly grateful I gave it a shot. It is so great to be able to share on this forum and have people, like yourself, confirm that they are listening and that I am not crazy! So thank you. It really means a lot in my life at the moment.

[futureglory263]

sure thing! it's great to hear that you are taking charge of your health =) and i'm glad to hear that you have someone like your dad you can reach out to, even though he may be far away. i totally know how others who aren't going through what you're experiencing can't really relate. it can seem frustrating for sure..
i think i get what you are saying though..like you'd want your fiance to be more understanding of your feelings and struggles. it sure is hard to care about other things when your feelings are overwhelming..and naturally you just want to withdraw. i hope he can be more understanding.
apart from family/fiance and health professionals, do you have any other support systems you turn to when you are struggling?