Sphenops
07-30-2015, 09:24 PM
Hi, I'm a teenager whose never been diagnosed with anxiety and it's been hard coping with it since its harder for people to believe my anxious ways. I havent.. said things personal like this to the internet, so i am a bit intimidated, but willing. This is long so be prepared heh
Well, I'm an artist. Drawing is my passion, and it has been for a very long time.. I end up being indoors all the time, and I think thats where anxiety started showing up. I've been home alone for so long that I feel uncomfortable when I go outside. People always stare at me as if I'm a piece of garbage. When I have to talk to someone, hear loud noises, go out to a family party, or someone touches me, like a tap on a shoulder, I get all sweaty, my heart beats even faster than usual, my face heats up really bad and I feel like crying. I cant even talk normally sometimes because it feels like im choking. I get so terrified I end up running away a lot to calm myself down. I also play situations constantly, but it usually ends up terrible anyway with how scared i get. I have an irrational fear that everyone despises me, even my closest friend and family, and even though they show signs they like me, it always comes back to bite.
I feel I'm annoying and embarrassing to be around since i ramble and worry. It's gotten so bad that I started hurting myself and its not good, its really not good, I've gotten so close to ending things overall but I stop myself out of fear. I get more anxious because I'm lying to the people that care about me.. they say I'm shy, and I keep telling myself that this is puberty, but i feel so worthless and guilty that it doesnt help much. 6 months ago my stomach's gotten symptoms similar to constipation and i get horrid motion sickness as soon as i step in a stationary car.This happens every day.
Ive kept passing this anxiety and sadness as something i could get over but its been 3 years and i am pushing the limits. I hate socializing, i love being alone, yet i am lonely, and i keep thinking how that makes any sense at all, my close friends dont seem to care anymore, idk.. i want to know if this is something worth speaking about. Im only afraid to tell my parents because i hate them worrying and paying for me.. i dont like putting burdens on them when they've already been through so much pain themselves (ive also been taught that those under 18 cant be diagnosed with a mental problem. It sounds strange and i dont know where i heard it, but i think thats another factor that held me back from getting help)
Thank you for this forum, im glad i joined. I read other threads that made me feel better. its nice to knowthat im not alone. I dont want this to affect my career and lifestyle
Well, I'm an artist. Drawing is my passion, and it has been for a very long time.. I end up being indoors all the time, and I think thats where anxiety started showing up. I've been home alone for so long that I feel uncomfortable when I go outside. People always stare at me as if I'm a piece of garbage. When I have to talk to someone, hear loud noises, go out to a family party, or someone touches me, like a tap on a shoulder, I get all sweaty, my heart beats even faster than usual, my face heats up really bad and I feel like crying. I cant even talk normally sometimes because it feels like im choking. I get so terrified I end up running away a lot to calm myself down. I also play situations constantly, but it usually ends up terrible anyway with how scared i get. I have an irrational fear that everyone despises me, even my closest friend and family, and even though they show signs they like me, it always comes back to bite.
I feel I'm annoying and embarrassing to be around since i ramble and worry. It's gotten so bad that I started hurting myself and its not good, its really not good, I've gotten so close to ending things overall but I stop myself out of fear. I get more anxious because I'm lying to the people that care about me.. they say I'm shy, and I keep telling myself that this is puberty, but i feel so worthless and guilty that it doesnt help much. 6 months ago my stomach's gotten symptoms similar to constipation and i get horrid motion sickness as soon as i step in a stationary car.This happens every day.
Ive kept passing this anxiety and sadness as something i could get over but its been 3 years and i am pushing the limits. I hate socializing, i love being alone, yet i am lonely, and i keep thinking how that makes any sense at all, my close friends dont seem to care anymore, idk.. i want to know if this is something worth speaking about. Im only afraid to tell my parents because i hate them worrying and paying for me.. i dont like putting burdens on them when they've already been through so much pain themselves (ive also been taught that those under 18 cant be diagnosed with a mental problem. It sounds strange and i dont know where i heard it, but i think thats another factor that held me back from getting help)
Thank you for this forum, im glad i joined. I read other threads that made me feel better. its nice to knowthat im not alone. I dont want this to affect my career and lifestyle