Lymhoma fear keeps coming back?

[pigsquiggle]

You might have seen my previous post about my fear of Lymphoma, and although I went to the Doctor's and they gave me th O.K, a few months later I'm still worried. It was weird because a week later after being given the O.K, my sister was diagnosed Salivary Gland Cancer in her minor salivary gland, which (I feel bad about this) actually made me feel better because teen cancer is rare. Alas, I am still scared of Lymphoma. I can feel them and they feel kind of squidgy and movable but I'm still convinced and I'm getting really worried about. It seems whenever I have a HA free few months it comes back and hits me hard.
Any help?

-Conor

[superchick22684]

I doubt it will be very helpful but I did want to let you know that you are not alone in regards to having health anxiety. I don't know whether to classify my health related fears as health anxiety or germophobic but I have them. Probably a little bit of both actually, I hate being around people that are sick or coming down with something but I also have irrational fears that I have cancer or that I'm having a heart attack when I'm really having a panic attack.

My health anxiety surrounding cancer is rooted in the fact that several of my family members have been diagnosed and treated for various types of cancer. So anytime I feel under the weather my mind is immediately drawn to the conclusion that I must have it too or be developing it. I've been trying to work on it with my therapist and progress has been slow but I haven't given up yet.

Since you recently went to the doctor and they said you were fine I don't think you have anything to worry about. What is it exactly that you are feeling that is squidgy and movable?

You never said if you are seeing a therapist but if you aren't it could be helpful to do so. Best of luck to you.

[MiST]

I have had Hodgkins Lymphoma twice in my life, once when I was 16 and again when I was 19.

If your going to get Cancer, it's the one to get..LOL

Seriously, don't worry about it so much.

[pigsquiggle]

superchick, we sound similar. I too am a germophobe. Although, my trigger not being the fact that some of my family members have been diagnosed, but the opposite. My sister is the only one in my family and before the diagnosis it led me to believe that it must be me who's the unlucky one in my family. The thing I can feel is the two glands under my jaw, and although I've been told it's normal, felt countless family members and been told there's nothing there. I still continue to worry.

MiST, I like your light touch to things and that seriously made me feel better. I think it my HA was just triggered today because it was a bit of a sad and worrying day - I was just trying to find something to worry about besides my friend. Anywho thank you for your help c:

[MiST]

Yea, seriously Lymphoma is a walk in the park. I had five years of treatment..

Just gotta take that chemo and get zapped with radiation a few dozen times and your good to go..

At least my hair grew back it's original colour..:D and I glow in the dark somewhat..LOL

Only real downside is I can't have children as a result of the radiation treatment..:(

Doctors told me it will come back one day, but i'm cool with that, I will just have to beat it a third time..;)

[sae]

Yea, seriously Lymphoma is a walk in the park. I had five years of treatment..

Just gotta take that chemo and get zapped with radiation a few dozen times and your good to go..

At least my hair grew back it's original colour..:D and I glow in the dark somewhat..LOL

Only real downside is I can't have children as a result of the radiation treatment..:(

Doctors told me it will come back one day, but i'm cool with that, I will just have to beat it a third time..;)

Half dead spazzes assemble!! [insert weak fist bump here]

While I have never, thankfully, had to experience Lymphoma, or any other kind of cancer thankfully, I have accrued a nice army of geriatric health problems as a young adult. The way you describe facing each struggle with grace and cheer it truly admirable. Sometimes you just plain have to laugh about it rather than cry about it.

For OP, I think that health anxiety is truly a mask for the fear of one's own mortality. Being sick with some damning illness ultimate spells death and suffering. It sounds pretty damned scary when you look at it that way, but to be honest it is also confirmation that you are very much alive. Every day you wake up on the right side of the dirt is a good day. Everything else is just an added bonus, really. There is no magical cure, or thought process that makes a person stop fearing their own death quite like acceptance of the inevitable. The real struggle isn't avoiding death, but living life. Sometimes you have to stop your fear right in its tracks and ask "Is this how this very moment of my life will be spent?" Your past is gone, and your future is uncertain. You have this very moment and you only get it once. It is a time for celebration of life instead of the fear of death. It's easier said than done, really, but each day you commit to reclaiming your life is another day well spent.

[MiST]

Wells said, live the moment! :D