Need dating advice

[gadguy]

OK I have jumped back into dating game. I have never dated much. I can probably count the number of women I went out with more than a month on one hand and have fingers left over. When I was in my teens early 20's when guys are learning about dating I was to insecure and thought myself undesirable to women, which led to my anxiety and I will also add to it I looked very young for my age (25 looking 12) so little interest from women.

All that said I am turning over a new leaf, just got a new haircut and I am rocking it..also started dressing a little flashier...I like flashy, but was always afraid of drawing to much attention to myself so I generally tried to blend into background. Since this recent change I am getting a lot of attention from some of the women at work mostly married but the attention is good.

The problem is I missed all those years of trial and error, my 24 year old nephew has more experience at dating and relationships than his 50 year old uncle. I am never sure what to do? or when to take relationships to next level, when I do date and it seems to be working out, I get stuck at level 1 and out of fear of level 2 a more intimate relationship, I sabotage myself because I fear the next level, being that I am this old with very little experience. The last time I had a relationship develop that far was over 14 years ago and it ended shortly after.

I feel a little like a fish out of water, the majority of women in my age dating range are much more experienced than I unless they just left the convent :) . Anybody else dealt with this and how did you overcome it?

[Im-Suffering]

Courage.

Believe.

Action.

Courage.

Believe.

Action.

Act as if.

Act as if.

Hi ! (Courage)
Dinner? (Courage)
Museum (courage)
Intimacy (courage)
engagement (courage)
Marriage (courage)
Growth, openness, love (courage)
Learning, allowing, listening (courage)

Happiness

Believe

Joy

Believe

Self worth, esteem

Believe.


Just a little courage and belief yield miraculous results.

Act as if.

Lvl 1 > courage > lvl 2 > courage > lvl 3 > courage > fulfillment

Do, be, act, naturally. Learn, grow, change through experience.

Have fun !

[Kuma]

The more you can "be yourself," the better you will do. Don't try too hard. Don't act. Don't pretend to be something you are not. Make sure, as I-S says, that you are having fun. Be friendly. Listen as much or more than you talk. Learn about the other person. Be open to trying the things she is interested in. Be open to sharing the things you are interested in. Don't look at this as "achieving a goal" but instead being happy and making someone else happy. Don't have preconceived notions about the course that a relationship should take, or the pace. Don't worry about your lack of experience; that can be an advantage as well as a disadvantage. If you are a nice, giving, interesting, genuine guy, you will do well with women. Maybe not with every woman (that is impossible), but with the "right" women.

[Zenlover]

Most importantly when you start dating again is to not play games and to be authentic. Be a good listener and to get your confidence up start going on several shorter dates, such as coffee dates to see if you have something in common with the other person. If you like the shorter date then schedule a dinner date. Take turns talking and listening, no one wants a monologue.

Zenlover

Remember to not play games and to have fun!!

[mrslizzyg]

I think everyone here has given you great advice so far :)

I also want to add, every relationship has its own "timeline" for how things work, and when you move to the "next level." I don't feel like there is any rule of thumb as to when it is correct for every couple.. It depends on your values, morals, personality, life goals, maturity, etc etc.. There are so many factors that can play into it.

Just take things as they come. The right relationship will flow in the direction it is meant to. Just be a good listener and communicate correctly and you will be on the right path. :)

[MiST]

Order in some sexy russian mail order bride..http://www.pic4ever.com/images/Vishenka_17.gif

[gadguy]

Order in some sexy russian mail order bride..http://www.pic4ever.com/images/Vishenka_17.gif

LOL That would be a hard blow to my self esteem. I think I'll pass.


Thanx for input guys and ladies, I really like getting a woman's perspective..I never know what they are thinking, no offence ladies.

[mrslizzyg]

LOL That would be a hard blow to my self esteem. I think I'll pass.


Thanx for input guys and ladies, I really like getting a woman's perspective..I never know what they are thinking, no offence ladies.

Not offensive in the least.. we also don't know what guys are thinking so I understand that!

The hard part is though, every woman is still different and we all have a different thought process, as well as different goals in life..
as I said before, I don't think there is a rule of thumb for this. Go with what feels right in your heart and in your gut.. :)