New here but not new to anxiety

[Bryan624]

Hello all. I've been suffering from varying degrees of anxiety and panic for almost twenty years. The past couple of years have not been too bad, and I really felt that I was finally getting back on track.

Last year my brother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer which had spread throughout his body. He passed away in March of this year. Two days later my Mother in Law passed away as well after a short illness. { I had already lost my sister several years prior to this after a sudden illness]. Two funerals in one week is something that I could never imagine getting through, but I managed OK.

Ever since, I have been experiencing numerous panic attacks and physical symptoms such as stomach tightness and pain, sinus headaches and a myriad of other symptoms. Naturally, being the Hypochondriac that I am, I assume that I have a fatal illness. It is very debiliatating and has led to sleep problems and constant worry. I have numerous family responsibities with an elderly mother and I feel like I can't even take care of myself much less anyone else. My work has suffered, as have my personal relationships because I am afraid to venture into unfamiliar territory.

The worst part of this nightmare is an intense phobia about seeing a Physician. My BP will shoot up and I feel like I am out of control, so I have not been to the DR. in some time. I know that getting checked out would probably help tremendously, but I can't seem to get past this. My wife keeps telling me to go but I don't feel that I could handle it.

Thank you for letting me share and I apologize for the length. I hope that I can gain some insight from others with similar issues. Thanks again.

[kaialian]

Welcome!

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Have you considered therapy? My sister passed away in October of 2007. I found it helpful to talk to someone. There are also many different books on anxiety and relaxation.

[edge]

I know you posted several days ago but I hope what I have to say helps a little bit.

First, identify why you are 'afraid' of going to the doctor.
If you are concerned that you have something wrong with you then, consider this, the doctor might catch something early. That would be great! I know, I have run this gautlet.
If you are concerned the doctor might think badly of you...I won't say that doesn't matter or 'he's a professional', that never helps the anxiety. Instead, keep repeating to yourself that if you get a weird vibe from the doc you never have to see that one again. It's not as if you are going to go play golf or bridge with the doc. Pick one that is not in your social circle or even in the next town so you don't have to worry about running into him.
Second, the only way you can get through making the phone call, getting to the office and sitting through the appointment is to keep talking to yourself. As each item comes up, even picking the doctor, keep telling yourself that 'this' will only last a few minutes and then it is over. You can telll yourself something that is ridiculous like 'making this phone call won't kill me and my arm isn't going to fall off'. out of room, please reply

[0ne_song_glory]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Also, I admire you for all you've been through at this point. I'm not yet 20 years old and have been a victim of extreme anxiety for less than two; I can't begin to imagine the demons you've faced for that amount of time.

I lost my mother when I was 14 and didn't seek help until I met with one of the university psychologists this past April. When you're 14, you try to be the tough naive high schooler you are, and in my case, because I buried those feelings and cemented over them, I didn't really have closure. Looking back, that was stupid of me. Looking forward, I'm thankful I finally opened up to my psychologist, father and friends. This anxiety deal is a shithole, but it's an even deeper one when you aren't seeking help and solace.

I'm sorry for that tangent. I guess my advice is that you at least speak with a doctor; it can't hurt to give it a shot. In the least, speak about it to your loved ones, though they'll probably tell you the same thing.

[Lulu]

Hi Bryan and hi all

Yep I agree this anxiety is a shithole and is very debilitating Bryan. I'm 34 and i've been dealing with this since I was 18. On and off but getting worse as I get holder. However, I have recently changed my attitude towards it. I used to beat myself up mentally about how I am, call myself a wimp etc. I am NOT a wimp, I have come through some really tough times in life and I'm still here to tell the tale. Being strong does not mean not crying or flying into a panic sometims. Being strong means you get up each morning and move forwards.

After going to counselling, trying anti depressants and other medications all of which I've now stopped, of all things it was a self help book that has taught me most. What it's teaching me is not to look for causes of this but to teach myself not to be afraid when I do have a panic attack. Because a lot of my anxiety is the fear of having one, i feel like it's lying in wait and ready to pounce at any time. So when I do have a panic attack now instead of trying to run from the symptoms I let them wash over me, accept them, and try not to be scared of them. This is NOT easy I know but it works and the panic dies down quicker. Then I tell myself ok I had one but i'm still here and no one noticed.

It's gonna be a long hard trawl but i'm willing to give it a go.