Too many fears

[twckfa16]

Hello - I guess we're all on here because we need help with anxiety etc?...Or just plain-old want some help? :)
I am a 40-year old male who also suffers from anxiety, panic attacks, and irrational thinking (something bad is going
to happen to me) - have suffered most of my life.

Some of the worst triggers:
Tall buildings
Amusement rides (can't go on them - went on the log flume, closed my eyes, and screamed something my niece
shouldn't have heard). Thought - If I have a kid who wants to go on rides - will I be able to?
If not - what kind of father can you be?
Boats and water(I had a full blown attack because a storm was approaching while I was in a pontoon boat on a lake
and in my mind - WE NEEDED TO GO - NOW!!!!)
Driving over a bridge
The unknown (What if I got a new job?..Will I be able to do it?...No - because you are probably not smart
enough)
Planes (I've gotten over that to a degree due to a place I went to in NY that uses virtual reality therapy)
Thunderstorms (Hid in the closet at my cousin's during a tornado warning - with his wife and kids)

Basically - lately it just feels like disaster is approaching because your confidence, ability
to overcome fear is very low. At 40 years old, I feel like I'm looked at as a joke because
I have this and let it get the best of me. And that's pretty hard to take right now.
Geez - looking at all the triggers - I think they are pretty common. But how can you change
this reaction?

Any thoughts?

Thank you!

[Im-Suffering]

Reactions come from beliefs, to change reaction, change the belief. If you are unfamiliar with beliefs, start to research them in regard to how they shape your life.




Planes (I've gotten over that to a degree due to a place I went to in NY that uses virtual reality therapy)


But how can you change
this reaction?



by using the same virtual reality therapy to enter the mind and find the belief.

at home without access to equipment, use your imagination and put yourself in the seat of the fear, literally. over and over. this will in itself not overcome it, but lead you to the heart of it or the core beliefs. imagine the danger or whatever the fear vividly but rather than run and hide (you are in the safety of your own bed during this exercise) experience it, let it run right through you, while you are asking questions consciously, "why do I feel this way?" "where does this feeling come from?" and so on, then let the imagination take you there, to the cause.

Now, once you find the reason, don't snap out of it and stand up but replace it. you will often find the beliefs under the fears are false or exaggerated, so replacing them with a clearer picture of reality or undistorted (your looking for the truth of an experience) will eliminate the fear associated with that belief.

In all the things you listed there is a central theme of powerlessness. to energy, storms, water, tall buildings, thunder, things representative of strength. this could lead back to parental conditions, power over, maybe a father figure. this you will have to find on your own. it is a very personal process..

[twckfa16]

Im-suffering -

Sorry for getting back so late...Thank you for the response! maybe if I take the time and figure it out, it wont be so bad. Rather than just seek a quick
solution which is to run.

Thank you!

[MiST]

There is no quick fix your right. As Dr Claire Weekes says, Face, Accept, Float through the anxiety and let time pass.

[superchick22684]

I also have a pretty long laundry list of fears but with my therapist I'm starting to tackle them gradually. One of the biggest ones I have is heights because of that I can't climb ladders so we started small by having me step on a book about an inch thick. Gradually I'm increasing the distance between my feet and the ground.

At one time I also had a fear of eating in public alone but I started to put myself in that situation and eventually it didn't bother me anymore.

IS has some good thoughts as well.