Wondering about Anxiety

[Macke]

Hello, I'm an 18 year old guy from Stockholm and I wonder if people could to give their opinion and advice on my situation.

My current bout of anxiety started in November 2013 when I had some kind of anxiety attack when I was studying physics and drinking too much coffee.
Immidiatly afterwards I had so much anxiety that I couldn't eat and barely drink for several days, although I slept well, and had my freind over to watch movies.
The next weeks were filled with almost constant anxiety, and towards the end of the week I had developed issues with sleep.
I got to meet a psychiatrist and a psychologist very quickly (for free, yay Sweden), and I got prescribed 25 mg of zoloft once a day, which removed all my physical symptoms, leaving me with only anxiety.

Now was december, and I was in an alright shape, I could go outside and have guests over and everything, and for the next few months I largely stayed inside as usual, and didin't go to school.
In the summer I would say the constant backround anxiety went away, which left me with only minor OCD, hypochondria and severe existential anxiety(turns out reading philosophy when you're anxious is a very very very bad idea.)
So after a year of doubting my own existance, and weaning of the zoloft, I am where I am today.

My anxiety has gotten worse since I stopped the zoloft, but I'm starting therapy now. Recently I had a bad bout of hypochondria as a result of my physical symptoms making a return due to me quitting zoloft
and I even had to fly back from Turkey this summer in order to get my heart checked out, and I for the first time was too scared to board the plane back, so now I'm at home this summer instead.
I developed a strange condition where I would get dizzy when outside on a large street or shopping mall, which seems to have gone away now, also too scared to drink coffee, even though I did drink alot of it this winter. Also too scared to drink alcohol.
I often become aware of my own breathing and start breathing wierdly until I manage to distract my self.

I've been diagnosed with Anxiety, but not a specific disorder, my therapist calls what I have a "mixed anxiety state" perhaps resulting from being new at school.
When I was 14 I had a similar bout of anxiety, that time lasting maybe 4-5 months until it went away by itself, that time caused by the same reason.

So my question is, what kind of anxiety do you think I have and what severity does it have compared to you and others?
Also, can I expect my anxiety to roughly play out the same way as my first episode, where it went away by itself, as I've only gotten better with the exception of quitting zoloft.
Should I got back on zoloft or not?

Thank you very much for reading, excuse my bad text composition, english is not my first language.

[Im-Suffering]

I am sorry you did not receive a more immediate response.

lets give this a whirl, its not easy to word -

There are a few types of individuals, we can mention 2-

1) those that feel stress, release and move on, maintaining an avg level in the body (chemical and emotional)
2) those that feel stress, compound stress upon stress, and maintain higher than avg levels in the body

the second group is always in a state of alert, physically (and mentally) speaking, where the slightest pin drop can set off a panic episode. they begin to fear not only the way the body feels, but the fear of the fear of how the body might feel. so they have fear upon fear, afraid of fear itself. you can liken this to ghosts, or illusions.

In a very real sense, you begin to precognate (the ghost of) fear into every future imagined task. Whether social, dating, flying, leaving the house, whatever.

For example using the heart, you can fear the actual high pulse rate as it happens, but you can also fear the ghost of that experience, which is the fear of the fear of the high heart rate which is what interferes with what you call a normal life, flying etc. Never realizing that the accelerated heart rate is normal under a given predictive set of physiological and mental conditions.

(Assuming of course one has been examined by a medical doctor and all physical tests are normal.)

Knowing this is a good start to recovery

Now that would be a good topic for therapy, as well as the life issues you face(d) that may have contributed to this onset.



best wishes to you

[Macke]

I am sorry you did not receive a more immediate response.

lets give this a whirl, its not easy to word -

There are a few types of individuals, we can mention 2-

1) those that feel stress, release and move on, maintaining an avg level in the body (chemical and emotional)
2) those that feel stress, compound stress upon stress, and maintain higher than avg levels in the body

the second group is always in a state of alert, physically (and mentally) speaking, where the slightest pin drop can set off a panic episode. they begin to fear not only the way the body feels, but the fear of the fear of how the body might feel. so they have fear upon fear, afraid of fear itself. you can liken this to ghosts, or illusions.

In a very real sense, you begin to precognate (the ghost of) fear into every future imagined task. Whether social, dating, flying, leaving the house, whatever.

For example using the heart, you can fear the actual high pulse rate as it happens, but you can also fear the ghost of that experience, which is the fear of the fear of the high heart rate which is what interferes with what you call a normal life, flying etc. Never realizing that the accelerated heart rate is normal under a given predictive set of physiological and mental conditions.

(Assuming of course one has been examined by a medical doctor and all physical tests are normal.)

Knowing this is a good start to recovery

Now that would be a good topic for therapy, as well as the life issues you face(d) that may have contributed to this onset.



best wishes to you

Thanks for replying.

This is what confuses me though, I don't really worry about things that aren't medical or existential.
From what I've understood, people who have GAD seem to worry about everyday things, something I've never done.
So what I wonder is what I have if not GAD.

[mrslizzyg]

So my question is, what kind of anxiety do you think I have and what severity does it have compared to you and others?
Also, can I expect my anxiety to roughly play out the same way as my first episode, where it went away by itself, as I've only gotten better with the exception of quitting zoloft.
Should I got back on zoloft or not?

Thank you very much for reading, excuse my bad text composition, english is not my first language.

I think what your doctor is referring to is just GAD, or generalized anxiety disorder. Meaning you don't fit in to ONE specific category of what KIND of anxiety you have.. it's all over the place and it fluctuates.


There is no way to tell how it will play out. There is no exact science to anxiety because everyone's is different.

Should you go back on Zoloft? That is a personal decision. If you feel like you function OK without it, then don't take it. If you feel like you function better with it, then take it. :)

Not everyone who had anxiety worries only about "every day" things. There are so many different forms of anxiety and what different people can stress about. So don't let that fool you.


MY PERSONAL opinion is that you probably have GAD. I am not a doctor though. :)

[Im-Suffering]

yes i wouldnt worry about the words or terms, such as GAD or whatnot. Anxiety as mrslizzy said is rather personal in regard to specific symptoms. medically speaking its easier to classify you generally if you dont fit a specific profile.

however your concerns, medical, existential or whatever point to certain beliefs you hold about the nature of reality itself and your value judgments about the world and your place in it. take a good personal look at your conditioning in the home setting and parents over the years. you will find your reasons.

You can try cognitive therapy, or CBT with your therapist which has had success with many people. you would be able to think a bit more clearly as well as discover some insights about yourself. and thats always a good thing. you will go on to live a healthy full joyful life, i applaud you for your courage. be patient, go with the flow. accept and validate this temporary obstacle as temporary.

you are normal, given or under a very specific set of conditions. If (just an example) for many years i would tell you verbally, physically, and through abandonment emotionally that you are worthless as a person, and you were stuck under my roof, over time you would begin to believe it, and act accordingly. it is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to resolve it, and i tell you, that you are doing very very well in moving forward.

[GennR]

I have GAD and my worries shift. Sometimes I'm anxious my cat will die, sometimes I'm anxious about perceived events years from now. Sometimes it's the grass that gets me, because it might have a bee in it. Sometimes it's social situations. It can be anything, really, but I do tend to fixate on the cat. Buspar has helped a lot.

[Macke]

The wierd thing is, I'veasked my psychologist about what my diagnosis is, and she says it is an anxiety state, so im guessing that means it's not GAD.
I didin't know one could have anxiety for so many months without it requiring a diagnosis.

This is my theory:

I get sensitive to panic attacks when I go through major life changes that put me under stress,
these panic attacks can then cause a spiral of anxiety, which goes away after X months.

I base this on the fact that I've gone through a similar episode before, after a similar major change.
And on the fact that I've only gotten better since it started, sitting in a dark room for a year, without therapy and with medication that doctors say shouldn't affect me.

Is my theory possible? Or am I being too optimistic? Has anyone here experienced this sort of anxiety? Thanks for reading.

[Macke]

Ah, I've found my mental disorder.
It's called Adjustment Disorder, that makes perfect sense!

[Kuma]

I agree with I-S here, I would not worry about your particular diagnosis or terminology. It would be better to focus on what is going wrong in your life and how you would like to go about making it better. "Adjustment Disorder" is a somewhat controversial dx in any event -- and in DSM-V there are various types of adjustment disorders. But I don't think any of that is too important, other than to psychiatrists and some insurance companies that require a dx in some countries. For you, I would focus on healing your anxiety, rather than some particular (and maybe arbitrary) diagnosis.