Mother daughter relationships ( Girls dont be mad )

[JohnC]

After Pam made a comment on her and her mom i felt compelled to throw this out there. My two daughters and my wife are constantly fighting and it gets really bad. I can't hardly stand to be around them, in fact i don't want to be
This next comment i know will get some of you wanting to yell at me but...............................
ALL THREE of them have their period at THE SAME TIME!!!! and it's like the gates of hell have opened up in my house it's going on right now as i type this thread. I wanna chuck the laptop right out the fucking window and leave. I might just go get a studio apartment until they go off to college and my wife goes through the change.
Ok ladies let me have it cuz i can't take it any more!
Is this normal, WTF

[Dahila]

Oh John, usually all woman in the same house will go through period together. It is strange , is it not?
I was fighting with my mom a lot too, so was my daughter with me, it is normal I think ...

[JohnC]

Well hell, thats just a cruel thing

[needtogetwell]

You think you have it bad now baby! Wait until your wife gets to that joyous change. All hell is going to break loose. You're going to wish the girls were back in the house.

Better start looking for that apartment. Lol

Now Your wife could be one of the lucky ones and doesn't go through the mood swings and assorted other joyous crap. If you asked Scott he would tell you that I have been a raving lunatic at times. Oh and memory, yup, gonna turn into Swiss cheese, hers not yours.

Enjoy while the getting is good! An apartment may just be cheaper than a divorce lawyer. ROFLMAO!!!!!!

It's your thread, sorry if you don't like my answer. Lol

[JohnC]

Oh Crap Pam... i forgot about some of your older post BUT i remember now :(

[needtogetwell]

Aren't I just a ray of sunshine!

[needtogetwell]

Scott and I are actually howling at your predicament. He so understands what you are going through. His ex wife had a couple of girls and he survived. He also survived her going through the change. His advice to you.... Increase beer consumption! All will be ok.

[JohnC]

I have never met Scott but he gives good advice. I can see my bottle of cabo wabo from here but i don't think there's enough in there to get me to my happy place.

[needtogetwell]

Scott says You can find your happy place with very loud tunes and headphones, if the bottle is only going to half get you there.

[JohnC]

I was just going to pop a xanax........................... it's eerily quiet in here all of a sudden. Hope its not the calm before the storm.

[needtogetwell]

Nah, the storm is over. Look at the positive! They probably just wore themselves out.

[JohnC]

LOL, i think your right 2 of the 3 went to bed so no oxygen to feed the fire.

[LDE]

This is very normal. When I lived at home with my parents and two sisters somebody was always yelling. Mainly my two sisters but yeah... Normal. I think we drove my dad nuts. We got a boy dog so he wasn't the only male in the house hahah. Sooner or later your daughters and wife will cut back on the arguing. My sisters and mom are my best friends now. It just takes a while for girls to realize their mom and sisters are their best friends.

[JohnC]

I am sure you guys are right but it sure is tough.... I really do hate the constant fighting and the yelling is just about unbearable.

[needtogetwell]

If you had boys they would be wrestling or scrapping. Boys are more physical. Girls are catty, they prefer to yell, scream and argue. They get over it eventually.

My sister has 3 girls, 25, 23, 22. Can you just imagine how nuts that house was with 4 females fighting it out. No wonder my brother in law took up drinking heavily! Lol 2 of the girls moved out and now the house is peaceful, he no longer drinks heavily. Lol. But through the teen years it was brutal, I wouldn't even go over for holiday meals because it was always a fight, and most of the time I would feel like strangling each and every one of my nieces.

Hang in there. Btw, how old are the girls?

[sae]

The relationship with my daughter has taken an interesting turn. The hormonal shift is something that can be compared to the onset of rabies! She had abandoned the days of giving me small gifts and hanging on me for silent glares, loud sighs, and hours at a time with her face buried in her phone. She used to help around the house; these days something as simple as unloading a dishwasher illicits a toddler style tantrum the likes I hadn't even seen when she WAS a toddler.
I recognize some of her behavior is due to losing her father in such a horrifying manner, some of it is due to the fact that I have changed my parenting style to that of a loving tactician too. I stay involved, engaged, and make sure to set clearly understood boundaries... man that burns her up.
The teen years, I am finding, are proving to be quite the challenge. It all comes down to teaching accountability, something that I admit I failed to do when she was younger. Sometimes every day she speaks as if she were gearing up for war, ultimately becoming frustrated when I do not engage in argument. She pokes, she prods, anything to produce the desired freak out. She has been conditioned to incite anxiety triggering behavior in order to get her way. This last year I have grown a bit of backbone, I do not let my panic run the relationship when I can help it. Slowly it is getting better. She has slowed (but certainly not stopped) trying to test the boundaries I set.
We no longer have the "what is life all about talks" we used to, but damn me for trying. Once upon a time she sat and listened intently as I taught her about being a decent human being, trusting yet still wary enough to know the difference between kindness and manipulation; now they are debates. Sometimes her behavior befuddles me. She is so far self centric, so deeply entrenched in popular moral rhetoric. My greatest asset, however, is that I am patient, and try to be kind in spite of.
She might hate my guts now, and believe me I have heard all the reasons she can't wait to finally be free of my "tyranny" but come hell or high water she will finally leave this home one day with the basic understanding of how to be a decent, upstanding person.
Girls are weird. I was probably a real pain in my mom's ass too at this age. Through years of separation, and reconnection, my mother has once again become a beacon of wisdom and inspiration. Her no bullshit, no drama attitude, her quiet yet sharp wit, are all things that I hope I am able to emulate.