Stepping out..wish me luck

[gadguy]

Well I am taking the plunge..I have date tonight, the first one since my "melt down" back in Oct. After that I thought would never date again, but I'm "cowboying" up and gonna give it another try. I will let yall know how it goes.

[mrslizzyg]

Well I am taking the plunge..I have date tonight, the first one since my "melt down" back in Oct. After that I thought would never date again, but I'm "cowboying" up and gonna give it another try. I will let yall know how it goes.

Woohoo! go you!!

good luck! :) can't wait to hear about it!

[gypsylee]

Good luck :)

[gadguy]

Update. The date went well I think, however I don't think she is interested in me, since she has not returned my call. No Biggie. My anxiety was under control even when I got lost driving LOL.

Side note we visited a site were there had recently been a mass shooting in order to pay our respects, but I could not linger to long, I just got an overwhelming feeling of evil at place that should be filled with love and hope, I actually told my date we have to leave because I was getting very uncomfortable. But all in all it was a good start to dating again even if she turns out to be not interested.

[Im-Suffering]

Love and hope is with the living. Take future dates where there is laughter, light, and love, and life -not a cemetery. As you intuitively understood from the experience. If she took you there, then your heads are in two different places.

You want a relationship where someone reflects the 'new you', you see, not the self of the past. Be aware what you attract.

You are building memories, make them bright and magical. You have made some really constructive changes in the past months, I am so proud of you overall !

Its time to be the new you, not just a concept or idea, you understand? But to take it for a real spin. Continue to 'test drive' yourself making the appropriate adjustments toward who you wish to be.

And FYI, "paying your respects" is psychological. Therefor you can do it from anywhere. I do understand culturally speaking one sees more merit standing at a grave, or that somehow they will be heard that way. But remember you are not talking to anyone who is physical, you see.

[mrslizzyg]

Hey you know, sometimes you go on dates and even if they weren't horrible, you just aren't meant to be with that person. It doesn't mean you did anything "wrong."

I'm so happy to see you have a positive outlook on the situation though. It's a great accomplishment that you didn't let your anxiety take over.

IS- as much as I agree that building happy and "magical" memories is a good thing, I must disagree. I think on the dates you should go where ever seems fit at the time. The second date my husband ever took me on was literally to a cemetery.. It has a beautiful view as it sits up high on a mountain.. I absolutely loved it and it is actually a place we go to sometimes just to see the view and relax. Is that weird to some people? sure! but he knew I loved beautiful views and that cemetery had exactly that. :)

[Im-Suffering]

When I use the word cemetery here it was a metaphor, in his case it was a trauma site of a mass shooting.

In that the experience is highly symbolic for him and his own personal changes over the past several months. Im not suggesting that everyone avoid cemeteries ! By all means go ! But in his case I was specific. Also in that he can pay his respects from anywhere and be heard, that is important.

Good to see you mrslizzy

[mrslizzyg]

I knew it was a metaphor - BUT not all places you go are symbolic of something, was my point.

Yes the place was literally a cemetery that I talked about, and it some respects so is the place of the mass shooting.

[gadguy]

Love and hope is with the living. Take future dates where there is laughter, light, and love, and life -not a cemetery. As you intuitively understood from the experience. If she took you there, then your heads are in two different places.

You want a relationship where someone reflects the 'new you', you see, not the self of the past. Be aware what you attract.

You are building memories, make them bright and magical. You have made some really constructive changes in the past months, I am so proud of you overall !

Its time to be the new you, not just a concept or idea, you understand? But to take it for a real spin. Continue to 'test drive' yourself making the appropriate adjustments toward who you wish to be.

And FYI, "paying your respects" is psychological. Therefor you can do it from anywhere. I do understand culturally speaking one sees more merit standing at a grave, or that somehow they will be heard that way. But remember you are not talking to anyone who is physical, you see.

Thanx IS, you hit the nail on the head. I reality I did not want to go, but we were downtown in historic district checking out some of the clubs, after we had left a minor league baseball game. We were only a few blocks away from shooting site. My date lost a coworker there, a dear friend of mine lost her Sister in law. She wanted to go, so I agreed. I realized as soon as we got there it was mistake...I just picked up an overwhelming feeling of evil, my fight or flight mechanism was kicking in, that's when I told her we needed to leave because I was getting uncomfortable, she even asked why and told her the place felt evil. It went away after we walked about two blocks.


Now I am looking forward to my next date...just gotta find the next lucky Lady.

[jessed03]

Now I am looking forward to my next date...just gotta find the next lucky Lady.

I hope it's sooner rather than later.

By the way, you must have the oldest active screen name around. I can't remember anybody posting that registered before 2011!