New here and falling apart

[kellysmum]

Hi, everyone! I'm a 43-year-old female with a history of anxiety symptoms. Most of my symptoms have to do with medical problems-that is, my anxiety level builds up so high, then it starts coming through in bodily symptoms such as irritable bowel syndrome or other maladies. Problem is, each time I have a new anxiety-produced symptom, I believe that I actually have a horrible disease and am dying.

For example, three weeks ago my left eyelid began twitching non-stop. I went to an opthalmologist, my GP, and a neurologist, who all said it was stress-related. The neurologist, who did an examination on me, found that I have "hyper" reflexes and am somewhat weak. He suspected MS or a motor neuron disease, and sent me in for an MRI of my brain, which came back normal. Well, the eyelid twitch went away after a week, only to be replaced by pain in my right arm muscles and cramping in my right hand, and the presence of a "lump" or nodule just below my inner elbow. My GP thinks I have a pulled muscle or a superficial thrombosis, no big deal. My psych dr. said this was all caused by anxiety. I don't believe him. In my hyper-panicky state, I think I have Lou Gehrig's disease, or ALS, and I cannot be convinced otherwise. I am positive I am dying a slow, agonizing death that no doctor will ever accurately diagnose. I can think of nothing else. I am literally falling apart. Can anyone here calm me down? Thank you.

[kaialian]

Hey! I am so sorry about how you are feeling! When I fist started experiencing anxiety I would focus on my bodily symptoms...I thought I was going to get really sick and then not be able to live my life. It is an awful feeling!

It took awhile, but over time I have convinced myself that all the body sensations I feel are anxiety related. I had gone to the doctor for various things and all the tests always came up normal. I have accepted that I am more bodily aware than most.

A number of things helped me. First, I started seeing a therapist, which helped me quite a bit. I found a free one through my city. It took a little searching to find a free therapist. Second, I started praticing relaxation techniques, mainly progressive muscle relaxation. That helped my body calm down. Then, I was able to think a little more clearly and come up with statements to counter my thinking.

For example, I would say think, "Oh my god, my side hurts, my appendix is going to burst!" After that thought, I would immediately say to myself, "I am safe. I am willing to trust that things will turn out."

With practice, I have gotten through it. I am now working on my anxiety in general and am no longer so focused on my health. I sure hope this helps!!

[x1angelx]

Hi there,

I hope you you are doing better! I've been where you are, but most of my anxiety revolves around instant illnesses such as heart attacks, brain aneurysms and blood clots. I pulled a muscle in my chest only from stress which I did to myself. I now believe I have given myself two pinched nerves in my back from thinking blood clots are going to my lungs. I am reading a book called "Panic Attacks Workbook: A guided program for beating the panic trick." I'm also looking into finding a therapist and getting acupuncture done and looking into meditation. I also have been having the same kind of thoughts as you. I've gone to many doctors and have done a lot of tests all to come back with anxiety or minor health issues that I already had before I ever started getting panic attacks (ie thyroid disease). Some days are better than others, but once I start feeling some type of pain I dwell on it so that I feel everything in my body 10x more than I should. Needless to say I am insanely self aware as I am sure you are too. What I have found a bit comforting is that I am not the only person with health anxiety as I previously couldn't find anything on it before. You aren't alone. I'm working on getting over it myself. I wish I could give you some advice as to how I got over it or am even getting better, but at this time, I have nothing. Don't fall apart. Try and stay strong. I know it's hard.