Can You Relate? - Please Read

[Christheanxiousone]

I've been trying to go online, in forums etc and look for understanding as to how the mind works. I'm naturally a bit anxious and a person who experiences really strong emotions (both good and bad) I can feel both really happy and then utterly devastated, it doesn't have to be related to anything especial having happened, its like it comes from "within" me, and feelings are out of my control most times. I usually function really well and i have learned to live with myself, ups and downs. Have never been diagnosed with anything or medicated.
The thing is every other year or so, i get worse or more prolonged episodes of anxiety. I am in the middle of one of these things right now. It can start with something fairly minor, like having been stressed out a lot or dwelling on some problem or past events. And i get stuck. Anxiety has moved in 24-7. Its like i have awoken in a whole new world- a world that is nothing like it was yesterday. Its all dark and grim and filled with bad memories. I start to feel intense guilt over events long gone, doubts in myself and anxiety through most of the day bordering full-blown panic at times. I engage in negative thinking patterns, feel unable to experience positive emotions about things i normally do.. I will go so far as to think I was never meant to be born. Wondering who I am. Irrational thoughts I know, but they feel so strong and real. I lose my appetite and my sleep suffers. I can go to sleep, but i awake in the wee hours of the morning, anxious and unable to go back to sleep. I don't recognize myself and I don't feel like "me". This in itself is very scary. Right now i have been feeling this way for about a 16-17 days, nothing especial has happened that has been unexpected for me. Does anyone else have "bouts" of higher anxiety than usual? Where it feels like a new world? My main symptoms are: Dread feeling, hopelessness, impending doom, fear of going crazy, constantly being afraid, and so on. It just drains you!

[superchick22684]

I'm currently experiencing a bout of high anxiety that has been going on for several weeks. Before that I had a few weeks of relative calm and for a month prior to that I experienced a depressive episode. I've found that my anxiety cycles and sometimes I experience a few weeks of anxiety and then it will taper off. When it gets really bad I experience symptoms like you listed above feeling of dread, hopelessness, fear of going crazy etc. This most recent bout has been a pretty bad one I'm starting to have episodes of panic again and a few panic attacks.

Something that might help you is trying to get away from negative thought patterns. My previous therapist and I came up with idea of negative thought patterns being "negative reel" kind of like a continuous filmstrip playing in your mind. You have to change the reel to something more positive and then the doubt, guilt and bad memories will be replaced with happier thoughts. Another tip is when you start thinking of negative stuff pretend that there's a stop sign telling you that you have to change your pattern of thinking.

Do you take any meds or go to therapy?

[Christheanxiousone]

Thanks for replying Superchick, I do not takes any meds and I have been engaging in self-help therapy with Dr. Claire Weekes. It is helping. I am seeing some signs of improvement, but at some points during my day, the doom, fear, and dread take over once more and I start over thinking. It is not AS bad as it was when it first started although it still really sucks, but here is to hoping I see the light at the end of the tunnel.... So you have "bouts" as well that taper off?

[superchick22684]

Yeah, my anxiety and depression pretty much cycle around. Most of the time when I'm really anxious, the depression is lessened or almost non-existent and when the depression is worse the anxiety is lessened. There is the rare occasion when they both decide to make an appearance though, thankfully that happens pretty rarely. I've had anxiety and depression for about 10 years now.

[gypsylee]

Hey, the psychologist I've been seeing recently showed me this interesting thing about anxiety/depression. Basically it says anxiety is a state of "hyperarousal" ie over-arousal, and the theory calls this "Chaos". Depression is a state of "hypoarousal" ie under-arousal and it calls this "Rigidity". In the middle there is the "normal" state, and we all go between the three but some of us get stuck in Chaos (anxiety) or Rigidity (depression).

With regard to your post, Chris, I'd say you are stuck in the Chaos/Anxious state. The trick is to recognise this and not actually *become* it. In other words, the feelings of impending doom, irrational thoughts, guilt feelings etc are just symptoms of that hyper-aroused state (what Claire Weekes calls "sensitisation"). If you can separate from those somehow and work on reducing the sensitisation, you will gradually become less anxious. The trap we all fall into is adding fear to that state because it's so hard to separate from. So it involves taking a step back from what your mind is doing, which is obviously not easy because we think we are our mind. If you realise those horrible thoughts and feelings are a symptom of anxiety, not actually YOU, you can heal yourself. I think Claire Weekes talks about how the body is always trying to heal itself and return itself to a balanced state, if only we would learn to keep the mind out of the way.

:)