Christheanxiousone
06-30-2015, 01:12 PM
I've been trying to go online, in forums etc and look for understanding as to how the mind works. I'm naturally a bit anxious and a person who experiences really strong emotions (both good and bad) I can feel both really happy and then utterly devastated, it doesn't have to be related to anything especial having happened, its like it comes from "within" me, and feelings are out of my control most times. I usually function really well and i have learned to live with myself, ups and downs. Have never been diagnosed with anything or medicated.
The thing is every other year or so, i get worse or more prolonged episodes of anxiety. I am in the middle of one of these things right now. It can start with something fairly minor, like having been stressed out a lot or dwelling on some problem or past events. And i get stuck. Anxiety has moved in 24-7. Its like i have awoken in a whole new world- a world that is nothing like it was yesterday. Its all dark and grim and filled with bad memories. I start to feel intense guilt over events long gone, doubts in myself and anxiety through most of the day bordering full-blown panic at times. I engage in negative thinking patterns, feel unable to experience positive emotions about things i normally do.. I will go so far as to think I was never meant to be born. Wondering who I am. Irrational thoughts I know, but they feel so strong and real. I lose my appetite and my sleep suffers. I can go to sleep, but i awake in the wee hours of the morning, anxious and unable to go back to sleep. I don't recognize myself and I don't feel like "me". This in itself is very scary. Right now i have been feeling this way for about a 16-17 days, nothing especial has happened that has been unexpected for me. Does anyone else have "bouts" of higher anxiety than usual? Where it feels like a new world? My main symptoms are: Dread feeling, hopelessness, impending doom, fear of going crazy, constantly being afraid, and so on. It just drains you!
The thing is every other year or so, i get worse or more prolonged episodes of anxiety. I am in the middle of one of these things right now. It can start with something fairly minor, like having been stressed out a lot or dwelling on some problem or past events. And i get stuck. Anxiety has moved in 24-7. Its like i have awoken in a whole new world- a world that is nothing like it was yesterday. Its all dark and grim and filled with bad memories. I start to feel intense guilt over events long gone, doubts in myself and anxiety through most of the day bordering full-blown panic at times. I engage in negative thinking patterns, feel unable to experience positive emotions about things i normally do.. I will go so far as to think I was never meant to be born. Wondering who I am. Irrational thoughts I know, but they feel so strong and real. I lose my appetite and my sleep suffers. I can go to sleep, but i awake in the wee hours of the morning, anxious and unable to go back to sleep. I don't recognize myself and I don't feel like "me". This in itself is very scary. Right now i have been feeling this way for about a 16-17 days, nothing especial has happened that has been unexpected for me. Does anyone else have "bouts" of higher anxiety than usual? Where it feels like a new world? My main symptoms are: Dread feeling, hopelessness, impending doom, fear of going crazy, constantly being afraid, and so on. It just drains you!