Bad memories

[Stubby]

(Sorry for it being very long but please, read it.) I cannot forget bad memories. Everyday they're constantly haunting/controlling me and at times I cry. This just started a few days ago and it started like this: (Please read) At school there was crowd around my friend. We both like Rubik's cubes and we like to speed solve the cube. (Solving it fast. There's official competitions for that. People use methods from the Internet. Me, him, people from competitions and even the world record holder.) I saw the crowd and I knew how he made the crowd. He made the crowd by showing his cubing skills. I decided to join him and some kid from the crowd wanted us to race. We agreed. The first race I won but another kid from the crowd wanted more matches. In the next matches, I was getting beaten and more nervous that my legs were shaking but not obviously. He kept on winning that he made a good rep while I made a bad rep. For 7 minutes the matches were over and we needed to head back to class. Later on in school, I was getting teases and mockery by other people. They said things like "Slow solver", "Stupider", "I cannot believe he beat you" and when I told same kid (the one who said I was "Stupider") that I was nervous during the race, he also found it was funny that I was scared and he tried to get attention from other people in the area. Luckily he didn't. I know the kid. He makes unfunny jokes and tries to be funny. Those words got stuck in my head for days and they began haunting me and making me feel sad. Every time I use a cube, it reminds me of what they said. (Please keep reading. Here, I typed a major explanation of why I care so much about those events.) For my whole life, I have considered myself as inferior in everything and unpopular even to this day. I still have low self esteem and was a loner too. In sports I'm never one of the best. In school I never have straight As (but I never have Ds or Fs or several Cs on my progress reports.), and I play two instruments skillfully but no one in middle school really cared and I was still unpopular. But the cubing is what made me popular. I was happier than ever then those teases came to me and then I got really sad. Cubing was all I had to make me happier and to make my esteem higher. I just wanted to be popular, feel better and wish for those kind of memories to go away. Would be nice if someone would tell me some things that would make me happier and I will remember those words. Thx.

[needtogetwell]

Hi Stubby,

I have a feeling you are still quite young, nothing wrong with that. We have all been there.

What you describe could have been me, and I'm 50years old now, probably older than your mother. Lol

Being teased, taunted and tormented by peers unfortunately happens all the time, it did when I was young, and will likely continue until long after you have grandchildren. Now we call it bullying. What is the policy at your school on bullying? I suspect if it is like most there is a zero tolerance for it.

Have you spoken with your parents about this? They would be a great place to start.

A couple of things I would like you to remember. Kids tease and say stupid things mostly out of jealousy. You obviously have a talent with the cube. Good for you because I am completely hopeless at it. Take pride in that talent.

You aren't going to win every match you enter.ost of them probably, but kids just look for a weakness and jump all over it. Not so different in the world at large.any feel that exploiting someone's weaknesses is a way to get ahead. They usually find out that it doesn't feel good after a while.

School doesn't last forever. Right now I'm sure it feels like it will, but trust me when I say the day will come when you would love to be back in school.

Hold your head up, you have much to be proud of. You are talented in more ways than you know, you just haven't found th all yet.

Don't worry about feeling haunted by the memory, the feelings fade with time. The more you allow that episode to affect you the longer it will. It's hard to do, I know, but just try to focus on something else.

I hope my reply wasn't too long. You will definitely be ok, but like I said before, talk to your parents about this, they would probably beore helpful and understanding than you think.

Cheers!
Needtogetwell

[Stubby]

Thank you so much for your help. I will remember what you said. Appreciate it. I went to sleep after posting this thread so I didn't want an early reply. Thank you! :)