Pretty Sure I'm Going To Die This Weekend

[thx1138]

So I've never been on here before, but there's no where else for me to talk about this. I have pretty severe anxiety, and I'm convinced that this weekend when I go to Disneyland, I am going to die somehow. I've been planning a trip to Disneyland with my friend and her sister (and her sisters friend). For whatever reason, we've had to keep rescheduling, and before the final reschedule, I started feeling that I was going to die during the trip. My mom has been adamant about me not going, because she doesn't trust the fact that there won't be any "real adults", and because we are staying the night. She recently relented, though. About a week ago I started getting a gut feeling not to go, but I'm not sure if this is anxiety or a true "sixth sense", since I've read of people following their gut feelings, and not dying because they did. I've also read of other people feeling this same way, and having nothing happen. The feeling has been so intense that I've been trying to accept the fact that I will be dead by Monday. I even wrote out a will to keep in my pocket over the trip. I've been up crying and not wanting to die, but I also don't want to miss this trip in the event that it's all just in my head. I even had a brief "deja vu"-like vision, where I was in Disneyland's hub, telling my friends sister that I didn't feel well, and was going to separate from the group to use the restroom. I dont know if it holds any significance, but it's helped convince me that I will die somehow. Im sorry if any of this is weirdly worded, I've been up all night crying. I just don't know where else to get help...

[Kuma]

So I've never been on here before, but there's no where else for me to talk about this. I have pretty severe anxiety, and I'm convinced that this weekend when I go to Disneyland, I am going to die somehow. I've been planning a trip to Disneyland with my friend and her sister (and her sisters friend). For whatever reason, we've had to keep rescheduling, and before the final reschedule, I started feeling that I was going to die during the trip. My mom has been adamant about me not going, because she doesn't trust the fact that there won't be any "real adults", and because we are staying the night. She recently relented, though. About a week ago I started getting a gut feeling not to go, but I'm not sure if this is anxiety or a true "sixth sense", since I've read of people following their gut feelings, and not dying because they did. I've also read of other people feeling this same way, and having nothing happen. The feeling has been so intense that I've been trying to accept the fact that I will be dead by Monday. I even wrote out a will to keep in my pocket over the trip. I've been up crying and not wanting to die, but I also don't want to miss this trip in the event that it's all just in my head. I even had a brief "deja vu"-like vision, where I was in Disneyland's hub, telling my friends sister that I didn't feel well, and was going to separate from the group to use the restroom. I dont know if it holds any significance, but it's helped convince me that I will die somehow. Im sorry if any of this is weirdly worded, I've been up all night crying. I just don't know where else to get help...

It is too bad that you cannot just look forward to the trip to Disneyland and enjoy it. But anxiety does odd things to us. For what it is worth, it is EXTREMELY likely that you are not going to die during this trip. Just look at the statistics. How many people to Disneyland every year? How many of them die? There is probably better odds that you will get eaten by your neighbor's dog, struck by lightening next time you walk outside to get the newspaper, or hit by a drunk driver. So, to be perfectly clear, you do not actually have any material risk of dying on this trip. It is just your mind playing tricks on you.

But you knew that already, I think. So you have, for now, essentially two choices: give in to the anxiety and cancel the trip, or go on the trip and try to enjoy it. I can't make that decision for you. But if you go on the trip, try to have a good time.

Beyond that, maybe get some counseling or therapy, to try to address the anxiety? You don't want to live the rest of your life missing out on fun things because you fear remote risks.

Cognitive behavioral therapy can be particularly useful for this sort of thing. It is very practical and typically fairly short term. And it can help you evaluate risk better (one of the things people with anxiety tend to do badly), so that you don't worry so much about things that are, in reality, very remote risks.

[sae]

As mentioned before, you're going to be a'ight :) . Disney is the happiest place on earth, even if your mind isn't right now. Anxiety is going to try to be the fly in your soup, and the bigger the plans, the bigger the fly. Try a little redirection exercise on your trip. Read this stupid article:

http://www.people.com/article/disney-princesses-as-raptors

Now you have something to chuckle at while you're singing "oh I'll ... make a meal.. out of YOUUUUUU" Get your friends involved and have a good giggle, that's where reclaiming your enjoyment will start, well that and a good sleep on the way there. Not sleeping is no bueno.

[superchick22684]

Sae- Great link, I saw that the other day and was thoroughly entertained.

Thx1138- I'm with Sae, trying to direct your thoughts is a good way to get your mind on something else. Anxiety has a lot to do with thought patterns in particular negative thought patterns. I like to think of it as you have a dvd player and the current dvd you have in is a very negative depressing movie. Its time to hit the eject button and put in something a little more optimistic. Also trying to be a little bit kinder to yourself, its not your fault that you're having these feelings. Also like Sae said try and get some sleep when your lacking sleep that can make anxiety more intense at times.

[Im-Suffering]

Then don't go. The OP caved to peer pressure.

To the 'adults' that read this thread, it's not 'all' about assessing risk. It's about trusting your intuition to which reason was meant as a compliment (reason is not to override intuition). Ask Buddy Holly about that last plane trip.

This (premonition) could be a psychological 'death' symbolic of say a friendship gone sour, or some other fearful dream symbol (a psychological state transmuted into the physical) - that (the reason) would be discovered on the trip itself, or it could be somehow physically related.

One does not have such strong visions and feelings for no reason. Especially a child that is still connected somewhat more than an adult to this inner guidance.

You do not say, "I am about to take this trip, and I will die during it", believing it, visualizing it, and dreaming it - and then go on the trip.

Now, some would say, "ah, don't be foolish, go on the trip. You will see how it will be ok" which seems logical enough. But this would teach someone to invalidate their gut in lieu of some outside influence. Learning to trust others opinions, rather than the truth inside themselves. Eventually that would be problematic.

It could be that the OP already feels dead inside, the reason for the (ongoing) anxiety, repressed feelings and emotions. In that case this experience is to teach her to advocate for herself. Or to come alive through expression.

It is never as simple as a, b, c.

[mrslizzyg]

IS- I'm going to have to say I disagree with your post.. I don't think the fact that the OP is having anxiety over this trip means it HAS to be related to something buried emotionally.. The anxiety, sure... I feel like my anxiety comes from my childhood experiences. But I don't think all of my MOMENTS of anxiety are directly related to these events.

Anxiety and intuition are two different things.

If you go on this trip, and most importantly you try to have fun, YOU BEAT YOUR ANXIETY. You told it to kick rocks. Guess what? You have now shown yourself that this anxiety CAN just be all in your head and that you are better than IT.

Anytime I have had anxiety about an outing or doing something and I let my anxiety win me over- I ALWAYS felt worse about the situation. I felt like I missed out on something fun, felt slightly guilty for not going, the list goes on really. It made me spiral into worse anxiety.

Anytime I didn't let the anxiety win- I felt awesome about myself and also everything turned out ok. Sometimes the situations were just OK, and sometimes the were amazing! But regardless, it never turned out as bad as the anxiety had made it seem.


In the end, you do whatever is best for you. I just think you will feel like a badass if you go and have a good time. Disneyland is fun! :)

[Kuma]

Then don't go. The OP caved to peer pressure.

To the 'adults' that read this thread, it's not 'all' about assessing risk. It's about trusting your intuition to which reason was meant as a compliment (reason is not to override intuition). Ask Buddy Holly about that last plane trip.

This (premonition) could be a psychological 'death' symbolic of say a friendship gone sour, or some other fearful dream symbol (a psychological state transmuted into the physical) - that (the reason) would be discovered on the trip itself, or it could be somehow physically related.

One does not have such strong visions and feelings for no reason. Especially a child that is still connected somewhat more than an adult to this inner guidance.

You do not say, "I am about to take this trip, and I will die during it", believing it, visualizing it, and dreaming it - and then go on the trip.

Now, some would say, "ah, don't be foolish, go on the trip. You will see how it will be ok" which seems logical enough. But this would teach someone to invalidate their gut in lieu of some outside influence. Learning to trust others opinions, rather than the truth inside themselves. Eventually that would be problematic.

It could be that the OP already feels dead inside, the reason for the (ongoing) anxiety, repressed feelings and emotions. In that case this experience is to teach her to advocate for herself. Or to come alive through expression.

It is never as simple as a, b, c.

I join Lizzy in disagreeing with this post by I-S. Indeed, I think ranks among the worst advice I have seen on this board.

First, there is nothing at all to suggest that the O-P caved to peer pressure, or that she is not an "adult".

Second, saying "then don't go" does not address the issue at all. I bet the OP knew that she has the option of "not going." She probably does not need a psychic or a warlock to tell her that.

Third, for someone who suffers from anxiety, suggesting that they should not endeavor to assess risk more accurately but should instead go with their "intuition" is a mistake. For many of us who have anxiety disorders, the "intuition" is broken. Take the guy who is afraid of driving over a bridge because his "intuition" is that the bridge will crater and he will fall to his death. So instead he quits his job which required driving over a bridge, or else has an extra hour commute to avoid the bridge. He lives his life as if the odds of the bridge cratering were, say, one in two. (If that were true, it would be really smart to avoid the bridge!). His intuition is not working well. It is telling him that he is likely to fall to his death, while in reality the odds of that happening are, say, one in a hundred million, rather than one in two. If he can learn to evaluate risk more accurately -- and to internalize that accurate evaluation -- then he will not be so afraid of driving over the bridge, because he will understand that the risk is trivial -- nearly non-existent. But if he "trusts his intuition" -- which is telling him something that is not true -- then he will continue to be paralyzed by an irrational fear. That is one important way in which CBT can be helpful. It helps people to get away from over-reliance on broken intuition (decisions based on false evaluations of risk or irrational fears) and to make better decisions.

Finally, this statement in I-S's post is nonsensical: "This (premonition) could be a psychological 'death' symbolic of say a friendship gone sour, or some other fearful dream symbol (a psychological state transmuted into the physical) - that (the reason) would be discovered on the trip itself, or it could be somehow physically related. One does not have such strong visions and feelings for no reason. Especially a child that is still connected somewhat more than an adult to this inner guidance. "

I think I-S believes in psychics and fortune-tellers and soothsayers and clairvoyants and maybe witches, ghosts and goblins too. And I have seen quotes in his posts from Jane Roberts and the Seth materials (which if you have never looked at it, is REALLY off-the-charts bizarre and delusional). So maybe that is where this stuff comes from. But I would urge you to ignore it and instead to focus on practical ways that you can enjoy your trip and have more fun and less anxiety in your life. Lizzy makes some good points in that regard.

[sae]

If I caved to every time I kept myself buckled in my car parked in my driveway crying because I was certain unbuckling my seat belt would somehow magically kill me, or bought into the idea my anxiety fed me that stepping out of my door would somehow put me face to face with someone I know with certainty is dead, I would not be where I am now (which admittedly isn't great, but leaps and bounds improved from this time last year.)
I did not die because I finally unbuckled my seat belt and got myself out of the heat. The dead have paid me no visits just because I left the false safety of my home.
There comes a point when you have to develop a plan to become courageous. Like the saying, courage isn't the absence of fear but acting in spite of fear. If I had acted on all the awful, frightening nightmares I had about a new friend I had made last year, we would not be the most amazing genius super duo to have ever walked this earth today. You never know what opportunities you are going to have that will ultimately change your life until you put yourself in the firing line.

[gypsylee]

There are worse ways to go than dying at Disneyland! But seriously, I agree with those who say anxiety and intuition are two different things. If the OP had these thoughts and was normally a calm person I'd say maybe pay attention to it but they say they have "pretty severe anxiety". We all know how anxiety messes with the mind.

[jessed03]

There are worse ways to go than dying at Disneyland!

No, there really isn't. You'd ruin it for your whole family tree, for like.. ever.

"Kids, this right here where Mickey Mouse is standing is where your Great Great Grandmother Gypsy passed away." - Who wants to hear that when you're in the most magical place of all?!

OP - I once had the belief I was going to die when I went to university. The weeks leading up to it, I felt so strange. An impending doom was awaiting. But it was just anxiety. Believe me, nobody can predict the future. Sure, people will get lucky a few times (there are 7.4 BILLION people in the world after all), but nobody is accurately able to predict their own death. Tens of millions of premonitions each day are proven false.

Enjoy your trip. Making it through these moments can be what drives you to get better.

[gypsylee]

Then don't go. The OP caved to peer pressure.

To the 'adults' that read this thread, it's not 'all' about assessing risk. It's about trusting your intuition to which reason was meant as a compliment (reason is not to override intuition). Ask Buddy Holly about that last plane trip.

This (premonition) could be a psychological 'death' symbolic of say a friendship gone sour, or some other fearful dream symbol (a psychological state transmuted into the physical) - that (the reason) would be discovered on the trip itself, or it could be somehow physically related.

One does not have such strong visions and feelings for no reason. Especially a child that is still connected somewhat more than an adult to this inner guidance.

You do not say, "I am about to take this trip, and I will die during it", believing it, visualizing it, and dreaming it - and then go on the trip.

Now, some would say, "ah, don't be foolish, go on the trip. You will see how it will be ok" which seems logical enough. But this would teach someone to invalidate their gut in lieu of some outside influence. Learning to trust others opinions, rather than the truth inside themselves. Eventually that would be problematic.

It could be that the OP already feels dead inside, the reason for the (ongoing) anxiety, repressed feelings and emotions. In that case this experience is to teach her to advocate for herself. Or to come alive through expression.

It is never as simple as a, b, c.

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpt1/v/t34.0-12/11224223_845294488886062_5257887045108856564_n.jpg ?oh=8d03fa8aae166acece1e1e5fe13102ef&oe=5590CB62

[Im-Suffering]

Unfortunately my post was largely misunderstood here. But because it was quoted in a sense I left it alone rather than deleted (which could cause more confusion). There will always be some who do get it, so in that context its a wash.

[jessed03]

Unfortunately my post was largely misunderstood here. But because it was quoted in a sense I left it alone rather than deleted (which could cause more confusion). There will always be some who do get it, so in that context its a wash.

There was a glaring joke in it, and I can't believe everyone missed it.


It is never as simple as a, b, c.

It is if you're the Jackson Five

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/1137833/jackson-5-i-want-you-back-o.gif



Alright, I've had my fun. I'll leave everyone on this thread to it.

[thx1138]

Sorry for not replying sooner, I had quite a busy day yesterday. I want to thank everyone for their advice. I do, however, want to clear up that I'm not afraid of dying at Disneyland, per se, but rather during the car ride there or the car ride home. I've been trying to tell myself that it's all just anxiety manifesting itself from my mother's own fears about me going. I think making sure that we won't be on the road during the night will make me feel better about the whole thing. Again, I'd really like to thank everyone helping out. I'm considering going back to therapy, as it clearly didn't work so well.

[CarlaB]

Its a shame you cant just focus on the trip. Anxiety sucks big time its like a big monster in our heads. You have to learn to tune it out. I ve had those feelings before and come to find out I am wrong everytime. Last time I had to go to FL I was convince I would die on the plane. I mean I was thinking who would travel in this death trap. I mean if it falls.....we will all die its no stopping that. Man I was freaking out as I rarely fly I hate it so much. I eventually got on the plane and I found that watching tv or keeping my mind occupy worked just fine and I was off the plane in no time. I kinda enjoy it!