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View Full Version : I have a bit of a situation going on, Help?



QuietRose
06-21-2015, 12:47 PM
So... My mom and dad got divorced over eight years ago. My mom's been in another relationship for seven of those, and my dad was remarried four years ago. My stepmother works in a doctors office, and my mom's been having some major health issues lately. So, since the beginning of the year my moms been to multiple doctors trying to get healthy. One of those doctors was in the same office my stepmother worked in. There had been some problems there, as my step mother supposedly stood outside my mother's examination room and tried to listen in on what was going on while talking crap about my mother. My mom was annoyed, but me and my sister managed to convince her to just let it go. Then a few months later, my step mother got another job in the local hospital dealing with records and appointments. A few months after she began her job there, my mom finally got insurance and had been making her rounds yet again to try and see what had been going on with her. About a week after her last visit to the hospital, my aunt got a call from an unknown number. She didn't answer, but after listening to the message that was left on her cell, all hell broke loose. A person claiming to work in the same office as my Step mother- that person refusing to give their name or anything- informed my aunt that my step mother had recently been caught looking into both my aunt's and my mother's medical records and had claimed to a friend that she was going to "use the records against them". This person also informed us that the hospital was aware of this, and hadn't done anything about it.
So... this is a huge HIPPAA violation right? This whole thing had me constantly on the edge of having a full blown panic attack. I'm terrified that my dad will be angry if I take my mother's side on this. If it all turns out to be true and my step mother loses her job, he might get really angry with me and my sister. This has been bothering me for a couple of weeks now. It got really bad today since it's Father's day. I've been asking all week what we were planning to do. Monday nobody knew. Tuesday there was still no plan. Then, Wednesday and Thursday it was agreed that we would all go to the lake. No one told us about any change of pans Friday, and Saturday we celebrated my grandmother's birthday- and suddenly the plans all changed. They went to the lake Saturday without me, my sister, and my brother. They haven't said anything about what they were doing even though we keep asking. Now it's almost noon, and they still haven't responded to me or my sister's calls. I'm freaking out over whether or not my dad knows what's happening. My mom and Aunt reported this to the hospital at the beginning of the week. I'll be angry if this is all true, since my mother has never started rumors about my stepmother nor started any problems for her. I can't calm down, and I don't want to spend the time before we know if this is all true anxious and feeling panicked. If this is all true, I will take my mother's side.
I was hoping someone could give me a little advice? Taking my mother's side is the right thing to do right? If it's all true my mom and aunt want to press charges, against the hospital for ignoring a HIPPAA violation, and against my step mom for looking through their records.

I know this isn't exactly a purely anxiety related post, but this is the only place I've ever posted before, and you're all probably the only people who can really understand how freaked out I am about all of this. I've been feeling better recently, my anti- anxiety medication and the counseling I've been going through have really helped. But suddenly as this is all happening, I feel just as bad as I did before I started treatment. I feel like I've lost all my progress. I just want to feel- at the very least- okay. Is that too much to ask?

needtogetwell
06-21-2015, 02:57 PM
Best advice I can give.......stay out of it. It is not your problem, it is your mothers problem. She will deal with it as she sees fit.

There is nothing you can do and does not help yourself getting stressed about it. It will play out however it is supposed to.

Be compassionate if your mom wants to talk about it, but if she doesn't then let it go.

Kuma
06-21-2015, 03:15 PM
Best advice I can give.......stay out of it. It is not your problem, it is your mothers problem. She will deal with it as she sees fit.

There is nothing you can do and does not help yourself getting stressed about it. It will play out however it is supposed to.

Be compassionate if your mom wants to talk about it, but if she doesn't then let it go.


I agree with Pam. She gives good advice here. The situation sounds like a bit of a mess (family controversy is often messy), so it is understandable that you are concerned about it. But I suspect more harm than good will come out of your getting involved in it. I would leave it to the people who are directly involved to sort this out in the best way they know how.

QuietRose
06-21-2015, 03:30 PM
Thanks for the advice. I just really freaked out this morning over all of this, and it's taken me a while to calm myself down. I don't usually tell anyone else about how I feel or when I start to get super anxious, but I have noticed that it helps for me to get it off my chest. It's kind of like I'm letting go of some of the stress and built up tension when i just sit down and let everything out.

I'll try my best to stay out of things and keep myself as calm as possible.

needtogetwell
06-21-2015, 04:45 PM
QuietRose,

There is no try about it. Just stay out. Even if someone tries to suck you into one side or the other. It is hard not to take sides but all you should be concerned with is staying neutral and keeping a good relationship with both your mother and father.

One other quick thing. If where you live is anything like Canada where I live, there are very strict rules regarding medical records and privacy. Breech of these rules or laws have very severe consequences. You may think that the hospital isn't going to do anything, but be assured they are likely investigating it very thoroughly, with consequences to be determined at a later date.