GrapeJuice4Life
08-26-2008, 11:33 AM
Hello everyone.
I'm a new member and wanted to share my experiences with everyone in hopes they could help me out. I started college a couple years ago living away from home. The time to drive home was less than an hour, so going home was never a problem. Well, for financial reasons I had to leave that institute and return home to continue on at a local community college. Like I said, I started out as a freshmen and just finished my sophomore year at the community college, so two years has elapsed. NOW, I'm done at community college (I went as far as I could with the class curriculum) and I took out some loans and decided to enroll in a college about two hours from home. It was attractive to me because: My girlfriend went there, they have a great education program (my major) and nothing else really stood out to me. So, here I am.
That's my background, now let me tell you about my feelings. I remember feeling this way during my first year -- that anxious feeling with dealing all the new free time. I'm a person who likes to be busy and have a set schedule, especially as I'm new and adjusting. If I could be in class for 10 hours a day or something, then cool, whatever keeps me busy and my mind off things. But I'm realizing those feelings now that I once had...how you sit in your dorm room and know the world is going by outside of you.
You feel stressed because everyone is doing something and you're not.
I know most college freshmen feel this way, and I remember the feelings lightening up once I get adjusted to my first college. The big difference here is that I'm no longer a freshmen surrounded by a freshmen. I'm surrounded by sophomores, juniors, seniors who already have their friends set up and don't NEED to look for friends like I do.
At the moment (two days into things) I have my roommate who made the trip up here and is going to school also..he's not much help is he's pretty introverted and generally just reserved and sticks to himself most of the time. I couldn't tell if he's as depressed as I am because he's acting like he always is. I mentioned something to him last night about things being slow and he just reassured me that these things usually take weeks before people will warm up. I've got that advice from family as well. Who knows, maybe it's true and I'm overreacting and things will get better. At the moment, I can only hope and wait for that.
My girlfriend lives down the street from me, but she's busy with sorority stuff and recruiting new members the first few weeks. Eventually all that will stop and she'll have a lot more free time (maybe even more than me because she's taking less classes) but until then I don't want to rely on her to hang out all the time. I want to be busy like her! Her and I are entering a delicate situation ourselves as this is the first time we're within walking distance off each other. She's always lived 15-20 minutes from me back at home, and last year she lived her while I was back at home 2 hours away. So we made the long-distance relationship work, waiting for this opportunity where we would finally be together. I know eventually our schedules will become more comfortable and hers will relax and we'll work out that balance of when we see each other and how much. The main thing is I get comfortable with other people so I'm not relying on her all the time!
During my first quarter of college, almost two years ago...I was actually diagnosed with anxiety disorder by our doctor. I just couldn't relax and always felt like I was missing something. Even when I was with my friends, I almost felt like I was a 'loser' because I wasn't out enjoying the college scene like it's portrayed. The parties, the drinking, the sex, etc...
I eventually did settle down at my first college, especially into the second quarter and was quite depressed when I was forced to leave.
For the next year and half I spent at home, had it's ups and downs. Living at home while your friends are off makes you feel isolated, but at least I had the comforts of home.
Now I'm like an isolated student, 120 miles from home with my shy roommate. I hate seeing everyone around me already socially established that they don't need me to be a friend like I need them. It's bigger than just walking up to people and saying 'wanna hang out' because I'm shy as hell and that's never been me.
Even if I did find people I was comfortable with, I still feel like there would be this anxious feeling like I still wasn't doing things right and was rarely happy with what I was doing. I have trouble with just 'being me' and doing what makes me happy. I'm too worried with that other people will think to just enjoy things. I've worked myself up so much that I've probably ate three meals in the past in the past two days (And I usually average 7-8 meals a day)
Anyone ever found themselves in this type of situation or know what I'm feeling? This is my first time ever posting on a forum like this and I apologize for it being so long but this also about 2+ years of feelings. Thanks for your time.
I'm a new member and wanted to share my experiences with everyone in hopes they could help me out. I started college a couple years ago living away from home. The time to drive home was less than an hour, so going home was never a problem. Well, for financial reasons I had to leave that institute and return home to continue on at a local community college. Like I said, I started out as a freshmen and just finished my sophomore year at the community college, so two years has elapsed. NOW, I'm done at community college (I went as far as I could with the class curriculum) and I took out some loans and decided to enroll in a college about two hours from home. It was attractive to me because: My girlfriend went there, they have a great education program (my major) and nothing else really stood out to me. So, here I am.
That's my background, now let me tell you about my feelings. I remember feeling this way during my first year -- that anxious feeling with dealing all the new free time. I'm a person who likes to be busy and have a set schedule, especially as I'm new and adjusting. If I could be in class for 10 hours a day or something, then cool, whatever keeps me busy and my mind off things. But I'm realizing those feelings now that I once had...how you sit in your dorm room and know the world is going by outside of you.
You feel stressed because everyone is doing something and you're not.
I know most college freshmen feel this way, and I remember the feelings lightening up once I get adjusted to my first college. The big difference here is that I'm no longer a freshmen surrounded by a freshmen. I'm surrounded by sophomores, juniors, seniors who already have their friends set up and don't NEED to look for friends like I do.
At the moment (two days into things) I have my roommate who made the trip up here and is going to school also..he's not much help is he's pretty introverted and generally just reserved and sticks to himself most of the time. I couldn't tell if he's as depressed as I am because he's acting like he always is. I mentioned something to him last night about things being slow and he just reassured me that these things usually take weeks before people will warm up. I've got that advice from family as well. Who knows, maybe it's true and I'm overreacting and things will get better. At the moment, I can only hope and wait for that.
My girlfriend lives down the street from me, but she's busy with sorority stuff and recruiting new members the first few weeks. Eventually all that will stop and she'll have a lot more free time (maybe even more than me because she's taking less classes) but until then I don't want to rely on her to hang out all the time. I want to be busy like her! Her and I are entering a delicate situation ourselves as this is the first time we're within walking distance off each other. She's always lived 15-20 minutes from me back at home, and last year she lived her while I was back at home 2 hours away. So we made the long-distance relationship work, waiting for this opportunity where we would finally be together. I know eventually our schedules will become more comfortable and hers will relax and we'll work out that balance of when we see each other and how much. The main thing is I get comfortable with other people so I'm not relying on her all the time!
During my first quarter of college, almost two years ago...I was actually diagnosed with anxiety disorder by our doctor. I just couldn't relax and always felt like I was missing something. Even when I was with my friends, I almost felt like I was a 'loser' because I wasn't out enjoying the college scene like it's portrayed. The parties, the drinking, the sex, etc...
I eventually did settle down at my first college, especially into the second quarter and was quite depressed when I was forced to leave.
For the next year and half I spent at home, had it's ups and downs. Living at home while your friends are off makes you feel isolated, but at least I had the comforts of home.
Now I'm like an isolated student, 120 miles from home with my shy roommate. I hate seeing everyone around me already socially established that they don't need me to be a friend like I need them. It's bigger than just walking up to people and saying 'wanna hang out' because I'm shy as hell and that's never been me.
Even if I did find people I was comfortable with, I still feel like there would be this anxious feeling like I still wasn't doing things right and was rarely happy with what I was doing. I have trouble with just 'being me' and doing what makes me happy. I'm too worried with that other people will think to just enjoy things. I've worked myself up so much that I've probably ate three meals in the past in the past two days (And I usually average 7-8 meals a day)
Anyone ever found themselves in this type of situation or know what I'm feeling? This is my first time ever posting on a forum like this and I apologize for it being so long but this also about 2+ years of feelings. Thanks for your time.