Hey friends

[CodyF]

Hey friends, my name is Cody. I am brand new here so I'll just give you a little background on me. Growing up I was the happiest kid ever with no anxiety. I can very rarely remember being sad at all. I am 24 now and my anxiety/depression hit a year ago when my grandma, who I was living with passed away. It's like part of me died that day too. I developed anxiety, and it got terrible for months and months. I didn't even know what I was anxious about at all, just constantly anxious. Then I was so anxious all of the time that I started fearing the worst. I thought things were wrong with me physically and went to the ER just to be told it's just anxiety. I was so confused because I have never experienced one ounce of anxiety. Months went by and I was put on a few different kinds of medication. None of them seemed to work well at all, but I was okay with it because I was determined to heal naturally if I could because addiction to alcohol/prescription meds runs in my family. Anyways, it started to seem to be getting better, but something still felt off. It was like I was scared it was going to get out of control again, which caused depression from always worrying, being anxious, and fearing the worst. I am doing okay now even though I feel unlike myself some days. I recently quit my job as a counselor for homicidal and suicidal teens because it was very toxic to my own healing. I live in Illinois, but just decided to take all of my money and go to Europe to "find myself". I am currently writing from Amsterdam, but have been all over Europe the past few months. The thought of coming to Europe with no plan or direction was the scariest thing in the world to me, but somehow I did it lol. Now I am just confused about life, my purpose, constantly being confused about anxiety and depression. It is a vicious cycle, but I am starting to see some light. Well, that's about it for now! Thank you all for being there.

[mrslizzyg]

Welcome Cody! My name is Lindsey. Nice to meet you!

I think its really awesome you just went to Europe not knowing what was coming. That is really brave and exciting. I'm glad it is working out well for you :)

[needtogetwell]

Hi Cody, welcome!!!!

That's so cool packing up and going and experiencing the world. I wish I had done that when I was your age (a very long time ago).

You will eventually "find" your place and bearings.

One thing I might suggest when you get back to the states is to possibly spend a little time with a therapist. You have got many pieces of the puzzle, but maybe you need a little help putting them into the beautiful picture that is and will be your life and future.


You can do this, of that I have no doubt. Enjoy your European vacation, and if you're in London, stop in to see Jessed03, he's one very cool dude here on the forum!


Cheers!

[CodyF]

Thank you so much!! I have a therapist back home in Illinois who is the best! I have been into mindfulness and meditation lately, and am just trying to wrap my head around how I feel. I feel as if life isn't real at times, and just feeling so confused and lost. I know I will get better and be back to normal. I just don't know what else to do other than to be patient. I have read dozens of books, medication, meditation, therapist, yoga, and more.

[mrslizzyg]

I think you are on the right track with what you are doing. Having a therapist and also just doing things that make you happy.

I am slightly jealous! haha.

[needtogetwell]

Cody, you absolutely are on the right track. All it takes now is time. It will happen!

[mb33]

Cody,

My name is Maddy. I'm also new here! I'm 23 and have fought depression & anxiety my whole life. I just wanted you to know that I really envy you. I've been wanting so badly to pack up and just go. I'm so happy that you were able to face something that scared you in order to find your light. That's amazing! Good luck on your journey, I hope it takes you where you need to go.

[superchick22684]

Welcome to the forum Cody. You seem like a pretty strong person considering you were scared to go to Europe but you made it happen anyway. I hope that the forum will be a helpful resource for you in regards to anxiety and depression.