It never seems to stop...I'm overwhelmed

[pinkpears333]

A couple weeks ago, I've written about these horrible headaches that I've gotten since June. Over time the headaches have gotten worse and more painful, they still happen daily. I'm not sure if it is just stress related but I can't help but think these must be signs of an aneurysm or even a brain tumor. This summer, I've been under a lot of stress. For the first half of summer, I worked seven days a week. In addition, my mother is very ill and my parents are experiencing the effects of the dwindling economy which may cause them to lose their home.
Also, I spent most of my summer looking for a new apartment near campus, it took up a lot of my time, and it was a very lengthy process. With that being said, I found a new apartment with new roommates. However, things had seemed to get worse. The day before we were supposed to sign the lease, my best friend, who was also one of my roommates, backed out the very last minute. She refused to pay the security deposit and her aunt, who was our cosigner, refused to sign the lease. This caused a lot of stress for my roommates and I since we had relied on her to pull through because each of us had already fulfilled our responsibilities for the apartment. Personally it was even more upsetting for me since she is my best friend. Luckily, we were able to find a new roommate and cosigner but I have never really gotten the chance to relax since we were always faced with the possibility of losing the apartment which meant that I wouldn't have a place to live in during the school year.
In the midst of all this apartment drama, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me that same week. It is a lot to handle since I have so many memories with him and life just doesn't seem the same. If anything, it seems scarier and sad since I don't have him by side to support during these tough times.
I feel like too much is going on at once and it never seems to stop. If it is this, then it's something else. I feel like everything is falling apart and I push myself so hard everyday but sometimes I wonder if I'll feel like this forever. Because of this, my anxiety has kicked in a lot especially the headaches which concern me the most. I'm told it's just stress but what if it's something else since the pain is getting worse. Whenever I get these headaches (I'm actually experiencing one now). I think "It must be an anuerysm. I'm going to die." I had to reschedule my appointment with a nuerologist but I can't see him until September 15. What if something bad happens by then? I feel like all this stress is too much, I feel like it's killing every part of me. I'm sorry it's a long post but a lot is going on right, it's too much.

[northstar]

hi pinkpears, i'm sorry to see that you are going through such a difficult time right now.

firstly, about the brain tumour, did you know that it's not an uncommon problem with anxiety to think that you have a brain tumour? it's called catastrophic thinking, expecting the worst result. but i think the symptoms of an actual tumour are far more extreme, vision problems, dizziness & imbalance, nausea, major changes in character, epliepsy & fits, cognitive problems and many more. but you are doing the right thing to set your mind at ease by going to see the neurologist, i hope the result is good for you. stress can cause major headaches - while you are waiting for your appointment with the neurologist you could always try something like accupuncture to help with the pain.

secondly, you need to find a way to manage the stress that you are experiencing. there's no point in getting stressed about being stressed and not doing anything to help yourself. i would strongly suggest that you go to see a therapist and begin to deal with all the difficult issues you're going through, i found counselling incredibly helpful & i discovered so much about myself from it. you can also try learning to meditate, going to a yoga class, going for a massage, being nice to yourself :) it's important to find a way to manage it. oh and i also found neuro linguistic programming very helpful with learning to deal with worrying & the circles of negative thinking i got into, so perhaps you'd like to look into that too.

i wish you well, i hope you're feeling better soon and that everything goes well with the doctor :) let me know how you're doing! ♥

[pinkpears333]

Thanks for your encouraging words. My appointment with the neurologist is on September 8 so I hope nothing is really wrong.

[kaialian]

Heya Pink!

My heart goes out to you! Having bad headaches can be caused by anxiety. In fact, what I do myself is clench my jaw while sleeping/during stressful times and that leads to headaches. I also found the type of pillow I sleep on is a major influence with headaches.

Northstar has some good suggestions: meditation, yoga and doing activities you enjoy.

Sometimes distraction is the best way to deal with in the moment anxiety.

[Punk Rock Steve]

You've hit the nail on the head! Distraction is one of the best ways to cope with anxiety that is intense and happening at the moment...that's the reason I'm on here right now :) Really need to read and write to other people right now...Been getting palpitations all day, part I think from not eating (till just a little while ago), but mostly from my anxiety issues. I don't get real bad headaches, but I DO get more than I used to because I'm usually clenching my jaw, just about grinding my teeth. What is strange though, is that I DO get good days once in a while where I feel almost normal...don't know why. Take a light to medium dose of Xanax every day, but sometimes even they don't help.

[kaialian]

I'm realizing more and more with each recurring episode of anxiety that meds aren't the only treatment (at least for me). I think to recieve full benifits of the medication, meditation or some sort of relaxation exercise is necessary. Of course, it is challenging learning something new.

[northstar]

I'm realizing more and more with each recurring episode of anxiety that meds aren't the only treatment (at least for me). I think to recieve full benifits of the medication, meditation or some sort of relaxation exercise is necessary. Of course, it is challenging learning something new.

i believe it's so important not to depend on only your meds to help you recover from anxiety :) you need to work to regain your sense of self and strength that it takes away, meds won't do that for you. there is so much we can do to help ourselves and to recover a sense of power!

i can remember wishing in desperation there was a magic pill that would just take it all away, but quickly discovered that wasn't going to happen & if i didn't want to be a victim i was going to have to take action myself and make some major life changes instead.

[kaialian]

I have my moments when I wish for that magic pill, but I think we all do, probably even those who don't suffer from anxiety like we do. But since there is no such thing, we have to carry on.

I cracked open a book called "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" last night. I have used it in the past, but I never really got the full benifits from it. So this time, I am determined to get through it. Plus I think I am more determined this time because I know know that the meds won't fix it all. I need to have different exercises I can use in my daily life to keep from feeling anxious.

How are you doing Pink?