Anxiety and fear of suicide..?

[LadyTalulah]

Hi, I'm 20 and I've been struggling with anxiety for about 3 years now. Recently I've been going through a really tough time in general and I just feel totally overwhelmed. My anxiety, negative thoughts and high stress levels are controlling my life, and sometimes I really feel like I'm going crazy. I get scared that I can't control myself and will just take my life impulsively. The thing is, I don't want to commit suicide. Even when I'm really down, it's not as if I'm planning it or I really want to, I just fear that I won't be able to control myself. I feel so disconnected, yet so hurt and overwhelmed with emotion and that seems like a dangerous mix.
I was just wondering if anyone else has felt this way before.. Is this another one of my irrational fears brought on by anxiety? Or does the mere fact that I fear I might commit such an act qualify me as "suicidal"?
Any input would be appreciated!!

[jessed03]

What's the thought that goes through your head when you become scared of committing suicide? Something like "what if I lose control and kill myself?" Or "what if I can't handle life anymore and commit suicide?" Right?

The what if in that sentence means it's nothing more than an anxious thought and so you should treat it exactly the same as all the others. You shouldn't give special preference to any anxiety thoughts, just because they sound extreme or have been formed poetically. You can't really get over your disorder if you engage with these fears.

For what it's worth, I've had that feeling too. It certainly isn't nice. But take a read through the list of cognitive thinking errors, see which one(s) you're making when you have these thoughts, and tackle them in a logical way.

No anxious thought gets a pass from now on in! That's how you'll relax your amygdala; that's how you'll start to get better.

[Goomba]

What's the thought that goes through your head when you become scared of committing suicide? Something like "what if I lose control and kill myself?" Or "what if I can't handle life anymore and commit suicide?" Right? The what if in that sentence means it's nothing more than an anxious thought and so you should treat it exactly the same as all the others. You shouldn't give special preference to any anxiety thoughts, just because they sound extreme or have been formed poetically. You can't really get over your disorder if you engage with these fears. For what it's worth, I've had that feeling too. It certainly isn't nice. But take a read through the list of cognitive thinking errors, see which one(s) you're making when you have these thoughts, and tackle them in a logical way. No anxious thought gets a pass from now on in! That's how you'll relax your amygdala; that's how you'll start to get better.

Well said.

[Im-Suffering]

Heres a sentence from the OP that sums it all up: (the rest of the post can be deleted) :

"I feel so disconnected, yet so hurt and overwhelmed with emotion"

Now the OP associates this with the current state of affairs, meaning the result, rather than the cause. The OP that made that remark above is the child OP, not the one here today. People become so fearful of the current state the cause eludes them.

To our aspiring psychologists, what does that quote above tell you?

There is a 'slip of the tongue' buried in every single post here. Can you find it in all of the others?

Its like an easter hunt !

As a side note i understand Dr Weekes (and others) theory that the current state is the immediate state however there can be no true healing unless we pluck out the cause from memory. We are looking for complete healing of the triad. Mind body and spirit or soul if you will. Not just the ability to 'function' although that is the pressing matter for most. Getting back to daily life. And so doctors scatter around trying to fix that.

[jessed03]

"I feel so disconnected, yet so hurt and overwhelmed with emotion"


Anxiety does that to everybody. We could have all penned that line at some time or another. It's not natural to be flooded with hormones.

[mrslizzyg]

I have had this thought before. I also do not WANT to commit suicide, but have had those moments where I'm like, "what if I just lose control of my mind and I do it anyways?!"

Personally- I think the fact that I HAVE this thought, means I will never do it. It's fear. It's something I am actively telling myself I don't want to do, I'm consciously THINKING about NOT committing suicide and staying alive. To me my anxiety is just messing with my thoughts but actually serving a purpose, in a way... Making me afraid to commit suicide. I don't think that is a bad fear to have.

[gypsylee]

Hey there,

Loss of control seems to be a pretty common theme amongst anxious people. I had these kind of fears for a long time. The truth is though, we're generally very rational people who just don't trust ourselves. I honestly think if anxiety could make people lose control and kill themselves, I would be long gone by now. It just doesn't happen.

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[Im-Suffering]

Anxiety does that to everybody. We could have all penned that line at some time or another. It's not natural to be flooded with hormones.

Think now..

Lets reverse it (or work with it)

Most everyone with anxiety feels disconnected.

Disconnected creates the anxiety

Separation from love and self creates the disconnection.

Anxiety is the result. (Anxiety does nothing to anyone then.)

And i will say nothing is unnatural. You understand. You must think about that statement. The flush of hormones is a natural physiological state. Even if it is elevated for life.

If nuclear war destroyed all creatures on earth, within moments new species would be birthed from the ashes. Unfamiliar to you they would seem unnatural, like a tumor.

I am on a phone so i must keep it short.

[jessed03]

True, most everyone with anxiety does feel disconnected, but I think that's mainly because they have disorder in their lives. They have disorder within their bodies - inflammation, hormonal imbalances, incorrect brain chemistry. They have disorder within their minds - they've never been taught to think properly. Thinking errors are not only common in society but actually encouraged.

I don't believe the reason for most people's anxiety disorder is because they feel disconnected from a "self". Billions of people world wide live happy and contented lives without worrying about this "self". So, there's more to well-being than that.

The "self" regardless of how people and religions feel about it is an illusion. At least it is scientifically speaking. It has no tangible aspect in nature, therefore is a concept that exists entirely of the mind. How people perceive this "self" will differ from person to person. As will the way people connect with it.

The self then, in essence, is a belief, in many ways. It's a concept. It is something your mind has perceived and believed into existence. The reason it makes people such as yourself feel better is because it comes in and replaces a faulty anxious belief.

I prefer changing a belief to something more neutral personally, as do many others. But whatever works is fine, I guess.

[LadyTalulah]

Thanks everyone! It's great to know I'm not alone. And I guess I accpet that it's just an anxious thought because I don't feel it when I'm down or depressed, just when my stress levels get extremely high. In those momets I'm terrified that I would actually on it but I guess it's like the fear of going crazy during a high-anxiety situation: you feel like it's inevitable considering your current state, but it's never actually happens..

[Im-Suffering]

The OP still does not equate these feelings as self or natural, but some 'foreign invader'.

One does not know self until the crap is gone. Anything that does not feel good, how one views self, or the world, is crap.

I cannot respond to you in regards to the 'self' in depth jess. I cant do this from mobile. Maybe another time.

[jessed03]

The OP still does not equate these feelings as self or natural, but some 'foreign invader'.

True. There is always a lot to be learned about the body and mind, especially when you're fairly new to anxiety.

I do think the word "self" is a good one if it's used metaphorically to describe the psyche. I think knowing this "self", in other words the psyche, is very helpful.

Beyond that, I'm just not a fan of abstract concepts. That's just me. Plenty of people are fans of religion and that sort of stuff. Different strokes and all that.

[Im-Suffering]

Let me make a few statements. Its pretty well a summation of my time here for the past several months.

1) You (everyone) are meant to feel good.

Thats it!

Bad feelings, or feeling badly, has one purpose. To learn how to not feel badly.

One does this by following the bad feeling back to the cause. Because the cause (in that context) is always false (belief), no exceptions. Instead of cowering from feelings then, embrace them for this is how you find your way back home - yes, to self.

Fear, it can be said, is the result of value judgments. With many of my posts i try to awaken that self examination.

To feel good, ultimately.

I have no other purpose other than joy. (Not a misprint). Self is joy.

[Goomba]

If you replace the word self with identity, I think you get a more grounded thought process. We all have an identity that we have constructed to interact within the world. When unhealthy identity develops, it's easier to experience anxious times.


It's not as measurable as a car that is next to me, but there is loads of science in regards to identity. It's softer, but still adheres to the process, is peer-reviewed, controlled experiments, etc.

And, even now they are finding things at deeper physical levels that defy what we have been objectively measuring for lifetimes.

I love objectivity, evidence, etc, but it is my belief that it can only take you so far. Well, I guess if you WAIT for it to tell you how to perceive the world. New evidence dictates to people what is and what isn't - that's almost like it's own religion. A respectable science will always catch up, but I think there is danger in waiting for it to do so. Your self and your identity are what allow you to have a basis for your own experience.

[jessed03]

If you replace the word self with identity, I think you get a more grounded thought process.

We all have an identity that we have constructed to interact within the world. When unhealthy identity develops, it's easier to experience anxious times.

It's not as measurable as a car that is next to me, but there is loads of science in regards to identity. It's softer, but still adheres to the process, is peer-reviewed, controlled experiments, etc.

And, even now they are finding things at deeper physical levels that defy what we have been objectively measuring for lifetimes.

I love objectivity, evidence, etc, but it is my belief that it can only take you so far.

Very true. "Self" as an internal construct I can completely understand. I think that's a term that is extremely useful. "Self" as an external construct, as some Buddhists believe, less so.

[Goomba]

Very true. "Self" as an internal construct I can completely understand. I think that's a term that is extremely useful. "Self" as an external construct, as some Buddhists believe, less so.

Definitely agree.

[jessed03]

Let me make a few statements. Its pretty well a summation of my time here for the past several months.

1) You (everyone) are meant to feel good.

Thats it!

Bad feelings, or feeling badly, has one purpose. To learn how to not feel badly.

One does this by following the bad feeling back to the cause. Because the cause (in that context) is always false (belief), no exceptions. Instead of cowering from feelings then, embrace them for this is how you find your way back home - yes, to self.

Fear, it can be said, is the result of value judgments. With many of my posts i try to awaken that self examination.

To feel good, ultimately.

I have no other purpose other than joy. (Not a misprint). Self is joy.

That you do, my man. Maybe I've been misinterpretting your posts.

Do you refer to self as Goomba said, a word to describe deeper identity/deeper states of consciousness, or do you refer to it as something external, like a source, so to speak, one that we connect with?

Because the only way I can comprehend a statement like "self is joy" is if we're talking about a psychological state whereby we've let go of ego, useless thinking and faulty beliefs. That state of consciousness is like meditation. It's blissful.

[Im-Suffering]

"We are individualized portions of energy, materialized within physical existence, to learn to form ideas from energy, and make them physical (this is idea construction). We project ideas into an object, so that we can deal with it. But the object is the thought, materialized. This physical representation of idea permits us to learn the difference between the "I" who thinks and the thought. Idea construction teaches the "I" what it is, by showing it its own products in a physical manner. We learn by viewing our own creations, in other words. We learn the power and effects of ideas by changing them into physical realities; and we learn responsibility in the use of creative energy...

The entity is the basic self, immortal, nonphysical. It communicates on an energy level with other entities, and has an almost inexhaustible supply of energy at its command. The individual is the portion of the whole self that we manage to express physically.....

The eye projects and focuses the inner image (idea) onto the physical world in the same manner that a motion-picture camera transfers an image onto a screen. The mouth creates words. The ears create sound. The difficulty in understanding this principle is due to the fact that we've taken it for granted that the image and sound already exist for the senses to interpret. Actually the senses are the channels of creation by which idea is projected into material expression.

The basic idea is that the senses are developed, not to permit awareness of an already existing material world, but to create it...
The subconscious is the threshold of idea's emergence into the individual conscious mind. It connects the entity and the individual... The physical body is the material construction of the entity's idea of itself under the properties of matter... Instinct is the minimum ability for idea construction necessary for physical survival... The present is the apparent point of any idea's emergence into physical matter"

A little bit from Seth. (One of my teachers).

[jessed03]

What we believe about life is very similar. When I pick at some of your posts, I'm only picking at the grey areas, not the ideas behind them. And most of the time that's only to dig a little deeper.

If you put me on the spot and asked me what I believe about life, I'd say that there probably was one energy source at the very beginning, that it then broke up, and after we die the energy that "fuels" us so to speak will go back into that big pot.

I'm not sure how much I personalize that though. I'm not sure I buy into the concept that that energy source is a living creature trying to discover itself (like the Hindus believe). I'm also not sure if that energy intentionally communicates. That just seems a little too metaphorical for my liking. It seems a little too much like the bible trying to describe scientific processes we can't comprehend by using stories and poetic descriptions.

I did used to believe it, but less so now. But, hey, that's just me. My guess is as good as anybody's.

[MeanJoeGreen]

I have been dealing with panic attacks since I was in the 8th grade, I have developed anxiety and social anxiety as well within the last 3 years. Some days are worse that others and some days are better. However I have found a way to cope and control my anxiety and panic attacks at least to a certain extent. And although I am not 100 percet cured It has helped me out tremendously and I am starting to get ahold of myself.

I hope this helps somebody out there out because it is something I have wished I could change for nearly 10 years.

Take a look at anxiousreview.com

It is an excellent read and was very helpful to me :)