Weasel27
06-14-2015, 12:37 PM
This has been a major source of both irritation and anxiety for me over the years. I'll try to give some quick background on this: My ex-wife and I split almost eight years ago. In the year leading up to our initial separation, we had become very distant from one another. She was working VERY long hours, and it turns out she was having an affair. I didn't learn this until after the fact, and I was kinda surprised when she told me (the day after Christmas) that she wanted a divorce, and that I needed to leave the house immediately. I left that night and never saw her again after that....Literally. What I couldn't possibly know at that moment however, was that I was smack dab in the middle of a long-planned, cold, calculated scheme. About a week prior, she'd drained our joint savings account, most of which was my money. We'd also just refinanced our house a month earlier as well, a loan that I wound up getting stuck with since she set it up so that I'd be solely responsible for paying it back. Since we had no children there was never a need for me to ever be in the same room with her again, so I made it a point to never put myself in that situation. The lawyers went back and fourth over the loose ends & table scraps of my financial life that she'd neglected to suck up before she made her final move, but in the end I still basically lost everything. I think she really wanted me to freak out or threaten her (or something along those lines), but she just wasn't worth the effort and the risks. The fact of the matter was that aside from getting financially raped and blindsided by her, I was happy to be out of the marriage because it wasn't very good to begin with. She was always a very deceitful person. When we were first dating, she was in college and I was working in my own business. She'd often cheat on me, usually with the pool of ex-boyfriends she kept in contact with. She'd come back to me when she needed the emotional and financial stability, and I stupidly took her back every time. I was very insecure and unsure of myself when I was in my early 20's, as many guys that age are. The fact of the matter is that at that age, she was the best thing I'd ever had, sexually speaking. I think she had more experience in bed by the age of 20 than most pornstars have in half their career. She was just a nasty, nasty freak, and at that age I was addicted to it. We got married a couple of years later, she finished college (which I mostly paid for), the sex stopped, and for the last few years (we were married for six), we were basically roommates. She also started to resent me because I made more money than her, which I found to be odd since we were a couple. She went on this "I went to college and you didn't" kick for the last year or so of our marriage, which really made no sense to me but whatever. We rarely fought and there was never any domestic violence to speak of. I'm just not that kind of guy and never have been....
I haven't seen her since late 2007. Since then, she'd made it a point to befriend as many people that I knew / grew up with as possible. Over the years I've heard so many different stories. I abused her. I had multiple affairs. She paid for everything and I was bleeding her dry. I'm crazy. I'm on drugs (which is my favorite of all. Sure I love pot, but I've never touched anything else in my life. She on the other hand has done mountains of cocaine throughout her life). None of these allegations are remotely true. What IS true however, is what I stated in the last paragraph of this post. It's no more dramatic or off-the-wall than that, no matter how much she'd like it to be....and she knows it. Before the ink was dry on our divorce, she married the guy she'd been cheating on me with for close to a year. He was the computer tech guy at her office. He was living in my house a week within a week of our separation. From time to time, I'd hear things about her. People told me when they bought their enormous house together. They told me when she had her baby. I really didn't care, and never asked for this information. I was still trying to rebuild my own life. As the years passed, she'd pop up through third parties here and there. A few years back, I was casually dating a girl who was friends with one of my ex-wife's close friends. When my ex wife found out I was dating this particular girl, she made it a point to track her down so that she could "warn" her about how much of a piece of shit, misogynistic, abusive asshole I am. Yes, apparently the story now is that I beat her while we were together, and that's why we got divorced. I get confused sometimes about which allegation is current and which isn't, since there's been so many.
Last year, I learned (again, unsolicited information), that my ex-wife has "discovered" that she is now a homosexual. After two marriages. At the age of 36. She just figured this out. Yeah. So anyway, apparently she divorced husband #2, fucked up his financial life so badly that I guess he had to move back in with his parents, and is now joyously living the life of not only a lesbian but a hyper-vigilant "everyone's a gay basher" lesbian. So the other night (the reason for this post), I catch wind that she's now pissing through the same straw with my sister and brother-in-law, which whom I've been long estranged for unrelated reasons. I also find out that she's been actively attempting to contact my mother, father, aunts, uncles, etc, in order to "reconnect" with them. She's also apparently trying like hell to find out my fiance's name and contact information (we don't do Facebook), so that she can "warn" her of all of my shortcomings. Yes, according to my ex-wife I'm just the devil apparently. I'm just a politically incorrect, racist, sexist, xenophobic, abusive, untrustworthy, kitten sacrificing demon from hell sent by Satan himself. Any relationship I'm ever in must be infiltrated immediately, and any woman that ever finds me attractive must be warned about how much of a monster I am!
So let's look at reality here for a second. I haven't seen or spoken to this woman in eight years. Eight fucking years. I don't talk to anyone from her family, and I've made it a point to just avoid anyone she associates with over the years for the sake of my own peace. We were only married for six years. It's been over for longer than that, and she's burned through a second marriage in that same time period. So what the fuck? Why does this woman continue to attempt to infiltrate my life on a social level? Jesus Christ....I gave her what she wanted, didn't I? She wanted me out of the way so that she could be with the computer guy. Done...No resistance. She wanted to sell out house and reap all the financial benefits....Done. No resistance. My mantra throughout our very short divorce process, as I expressed to my lawyer was "tell her lawyer take whatever the hell she feels she's entitled to and get the fuck out of my life". I've initiated absolutely zero contact with her since then. I don't talk about her unless provoked, and I don't care what the hell she does with her life even though I have to hear about it from time to time.
How do I deal with someone like this? Just hope it fades away? I'm not confronting anyone over it...Especially her. Nothing would please her more. I'd have hate-crime charges slapped on me before I even got the first sentence out of my mouth now that she's a lesbian! When / how does it end?
I haven't seen her since late 2007. Since then, she'd made it a point to befriend as many people that I knew / grew up with as possible. Over the years I've heard so many different stories. I abused her. I had multiple affairs. She paid for everything and I was bleeding her dry. I'm crazy. I'm on drugs (which is my favorite of all. Sure I love pot, but I've never touched anything else in my life. She on the other hand has done mountains of cocaine throughout her life). None of these allegations are remotely true. What IS true however, is what I stated in the last paragraph of this post. It's no more dramatic or off-the-wall than that, no matter how much she'd like it to be....and she knows it. Before the ink was dry on our divorce, she married the guy she'd been cheating on me with for close to a year. He was the computer tech guy at her office. He was living in my house a week within a week of our separation. From time to time, I'd hear things about her. People told me when they bought their enormous house together. They told me when she had her baby. I really didn't care, and never asked for this information. I was still trying to rebuild my own life. As the years passed, she'd pop up through third parties here and there. A few years back, I was casually dating a girl who was friends with one of my ex-wife's close friends. When my ex wife found out I was dating this particular girl, she made it a point to track her down so that she could "warn" her about how much of a piece of shit, misogynistic, abusive asshole I am. Yes, apparently the story now is that I beat her while we were together, and that's why we got divorced. I get confused sometimes about which allegation is current and which isn't, since there's been so many.
Last year, I learned (again, unsolicited information), that my ex-wife has "discovered" that she is now a homosexual. After two marriages. At the age of 36. She just figured this out. Yeah. So anyway, apparently she divorced husband #2, fucked up his financial life so badly that I guess he had to move back in with his parents, and is now joyously living the life of not only a lesbian but a hyper-vigilant "everyone's a gay basher" lesbian. So the other night (the reason for this post), I catch wind that she's now pissing through the same straw with my sister and brother-in-law, which whom I've been long estranged for unrelated reasons. I also find out that she's been actively attempting to contact my mother, father, aunts, uncles, etc, in order to "reconnect" with them. She's also apparently trying like hell to find out my fiance's name and contact information (we don't do Facebook), so that she can "warn" her of all of my shortcomings. Yes, according to my ex-wife I'm just the devil apparently. I'm just a politically incorrect, racist, sexist, xenophobic, abusive, untrustworthy, kitten sacrificing demon from hell sent by Satan himself. Any relationship I'm ever in must be infiltrated immediately, and any woman that ever finds me attractive must be warned about how much of a monster I am!
So let's look at reality here for a second. I haven't seen or spoken to this woman in eight years. Eight fucking years. I don't talk to anyone from her family, and I've made it a point to just avoid anyone she associates with over the years for the sake of my own peace. We were only married for six years. It's been over for longer than that, and she's burned through a second marriage in that same time period. So what the fuck? Why does this woman continue to attempt to infiltrate my life on a social level? Jesus Christ....I gave her what she wanted, didn't I? She wanted me out of the way so that she could be with the computer guy. Done...No resistance. She wanted to sell out house and reap all the financial benefits....Done. No resistance. My mantra throughout our very short divorce process, as I expressed to my lawyer was "tell her lawyer take whatever the hell she feels she's entitled to and get the fuck out of my life". I've initiated absolutely zero contact with her since then. I don't talk about her unless provoked, and I don't care what the hell she does with her life even though I have to hear about it from time to time.
How do I deal with someone like this? Just hope it fades away? I'm not confronting anyone over it...Especially her. Nothing would please her more. I'd have hate-crime charges slapped on me before I even got the first sentence out of my mouth now that she's a lesbian! When / how does it end?