Hey, New to the Forum and New to Anxiety

[BabyJo84]

Hello everyone :) it's genuinely nice to be here, I can't keep coping with this on my own, and nobody who I speak to in real life understands what this is like. Before I get into my struggled with anxiety, I'll give you a little info on me.

I'm a 31 year old, separated, mum of 2 little boys from Blackpool, UK. I am originally from Edinburgh, Scotland. I am also a full-time law student who has just finished her first year.

As for anxiety. One word 'exams'. I've always had on-off mental health problems since my marriage ended 2 and half years ago, mostly some depression but nothing that was ever long term. Then the exams for uni came along and since then my life hasn't been the same. I have had this now for around 2 months, for the first 3 weeks, I took myself to a&e on 3 separate occassions utterly convinced I was having a heart attack, I have never been so scared in my life. Now that I know what it is (well, what the drs say it is, I'm still not convinced) - anxiety, and have been put on 80mg propanalol and fluoxetine once a day, I'm really struggling to learn how to cope with anxiety attacks.

I have them about once a week, but last night was the absolute worst so far, which makes no sense to me since the exams are over and I genuinely don't really feel worried or stressed about anything. Nothing anymore serious than normal worries anyway, like money. So last night, I was up until 3am trying to stave an attack off, every time I managed to calm it down, I would drift off to sleep, lose focus so it would flare up again. It felt like 15 panic attacks in row. Today I feel like I've had my ass kicked up and down the street lol I'm really weak and light-headed and dizzy. I've curled myself up on the couch all day with netflix since the kids are with their dad until tomorrow. This anxiety I feel is starting to spiral out of control, I've never had the next-day symptoms like this before, and nobody is taking me seriously, I've been put on the waiting list for CBT but in the UK, that waiting list is 12 months. I will have went through another set of exams before that time, I don't think I'm strong enough to do that.

I used to be such a tough, smart, capable person, and over the last 2 months I've turned into this miserable, unstable shut-in. I just need to know I'm not alone.

[needtogetwell]

Hi Babyjo,

Welcome to the forum. We have all been where you are with the anxiety issues and likely can offer some good suggestions.

First and foremost a great big GOOD FOR YOU!!! For all that you are taking on. Law school on its own can break many, so throw in raising kids on your own (even if they do spend time with their dad) is nothing short of heroic.

So, how to deal with these awful attacks. As you are on the wait list for CBT and that wait list is very long, there is no reason why you can't learn about CBT in the mean time. I would recommend a book called "mind over mood" written by Dennis Greenberger. This is a fantastic work book style which outlines the concepts and allows you space to do some exercises. The second is anything by Claire Weeks, although her work is old as the hills, it is a standby which has lasted through the years.

Learning how to breathe properly will likely be the single most valuable thing you learn how to do. Look up diaphragmatic breathing or yoga breathing, read how to do it or find some YouTube videos. This will help you calm yourself so that you can refocus your thoughts easily. I think is you learn how to do this well then once your exams roll around again you will be able to manage them easily.

I would also suggest you read many threads here on the forum, you never know when a suggestion to someone else may sound like something which may help you.

Lastly, don't be afraid to ask questions. Any you have are valid and we will try to respond best we can.

I wish you well.
Pam

L

[Soulcatcher71]

You're definitely not alone, as you'll see from browsing the forum. I'm new to this site too, but have suffered from panic attacks & social disorder for 30 yrs now.
Its hard to say what may or may not happen - some people just seem to get out of the habit of having attacks, and some of us don't.
I really hope things work out for you though, as it seems like you have a lot going for you :-)

[gypsylee]

Hey and welcome :)

You can hang out here when you're being a miserable, unstable shut-in. You're in good company!

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[gypsylee]

Also, this CBT waiting list in the UK is ridiculous (someone else here is waiting for that). I said to her you guys have to pretty much take matters into your own hands - CBT isn't rocket science :)