manduwok
06-11-2015, 02:45 PM
So I've mentioned that most of my panic tends to occur while driving... but it can happen anywhere, really. I just feel the least 'safe' in the car... especially when I get obsessed that I'm going to black out. I've been driving anyway but every time I do it's just torture. I'm getting attacks from the fear of the attack every time.
Yesterday was the first day that I canceled activities and hid in the house. I work out with a trainer 3x/week and fitness is definitely a "thing" for me. I got my stepmother to take me to my hair appointment and even panicked in the car. Sigh.
So this morning, I wake up immediately panicked about driving to the gym... but I knew I wanted to because I do NOT want to develop a bona fide fear of driving... yet alone let this take away such a big part of who I am. Alas, the panic came anyway, and I laid on the floor in front of my husband while it happened...
...but then I mentally resolved that the gym was more important and my husband gave me funny visuals of him flexing to think about while driving. I combined that with thinking about how AWESOME it would feel to say "I drove and it was okay and I did it!" and I let those thoughts take over the best I could. It wasn't easy... and I had to work at it... but I actually got to the gym and back without any bona fide anxiety.
That's today's small victory and I'm letting it be enough. :-D
Yesterday was the first day that I canceled activities and hid in the house. I work out with a trainer 3x/week and fitness is definitely a "thing" for me. I got my stepmother to take me to my hair appointment and even panicked in the car. Sigh.
So this morning, I wake up immediately panicked about driving to the gym... but I knew I wanted to because I do NOT want to develop a bona fide fear of driving... yet alone let this take away such a big part of who I am. Alas, the panic came anyway, and I laid on the floor in front of my husband while it happened...
...but then I mentally resolved that the gym was more important and my husband gave me funny visuals of him flexing to think about while driving. I combined that with thinking about how AWESOME it would feel to say "I drove and it was okay and I did it!" and I let those thoughts take over the best I could. It wasn't easy... and I had to work at it... but I actually got to the gym and back without any bona fide anxiety.
That's today's small victory and I'm letting it be enough. :-D