sachie1
06-09-2015, 06:48 PM
Hello,
I was just wondering if any of you suffer from work related anxiety? I was diagnosed a couple years ago with Generalised anxiety disorder and OCD (although just in the sense that my thinking was obsessive)
So, my anxiety is going crazy right now because I have a job interview tomorrow so please bear with me if not all of this is making sense, my mind seems to jump from the interview to being in the job and all the possible things that could go wrong for me within the job. I have very little confidence when it comes to jobs and working with the public, its mainly because I convince myself I'm going to f**k up all the tasks I need to do. I have I think a little bit of a disability when it comes to maths? I'm not sure if it is Dyscalculia or if its just my anxiety about maths. I'm not sure what it is but sometimes where I get in scenarios where I need to count change I panic, my brain shuts off because I'm convinced I'm going to get it wrong. I rarely go places with change because I'm terrified I'm going to give the wrong amount of money and honestly I just find it very embarassing. Anyway, most jobs you have to handle money and I have had jobs in the past where I have worked with money and most tills do all the counting for you but sometimes just the thought of me messing up infront of people instills so much fear in me that I don't want to do it. I was doing some volunteering for barnardos charity last year and they kept trying to get me trained on the till and it made me so incredibly anxious that I ended up just leaving the volunteering, its incredibly stressful and frustrating for me. I haven't had a job for almost 3 years, I'm currently at university so all my money I have gained from my student loans or from my parents. My last job completely knocked my confidence, I had a manager who I felt was picking on me a little, I had gone from never working in this particular job to more or less managing a section on my own within 1 month, I tried very very hard but every single day I came to work she told me I had done something wrong, she even blamed me for a few things I hadn't even done. I'm very quiet and don't like confrontation so I tend to take a lot of stuff on the chin but I could not deal with that job and ended up handing in my notice after 3 months. I left that job feeling very stupid and being quite hard on myself because I just felt like I wasn't capable of doing anything. It seems silly but it makes me very emotional because I just feel like I can't do anything right when it comes to certain jobs. I got into training for a call centre a few months ago and backed out before we started making our calls, I had asked one of the people who were training us a question and the way he had answered made me feel like an idiot so I never went back, that and the fact that I was terrified of making a mistake on the calls. I know in my heart of hearts that there's no way to start a new job and not make mistakes and that assuming I will make a mistake probably makes it more likely that I will make a mistake but I can't seem to stop myself from thinking that way. So tomorrow I have an interview for a job and I feel like im already talking myself out of it, I don't even have the job and im already worrying about it. I'm thinking what if I make a mistake, what if someone is rude to me and I don't know how to deal with it, what if I get really flustered with money and make a mistake, what if I get into trouble. The whole thing makes me feel really pathetic and I really don't want anyone to give me special treatment because I'm so anxious but its so tricky when I feel like people are judging me for making mistakes. I know that's also part of my anxiety, thinking that I'm being judged but I do. I worry that like co-workers, managers etc think that I am an idiot or that I am incapable and its a struggle for me to put myself out there.
Thank you for reading.
I was just wondering if any of you suffer from work related anxiety? I was diagnosed a couple years ago with Generalised anxiety disorder and OCD (although just in the sense that my thinking was obsessive)
So, my anxiety is going crazy right now because I have a job interview tomorrow so please bear with me if not all of this is making sense, my mind seems to jump from the interview to being in the job and all the possible things that could go wrong for me within the job. I have very little confidence when it comes to jobs and working with the public, its mainly because I convince myself I'm going to f**k up all the tasks I need to do. I have I think a little bit of a disability when it comes to maths? I'm not sure if it is Dyscalculia or if its just my anxiety about maths. I'm not sure what it is but sometimes where I get in scenarios where I need to count change I panic, my brain shuts off because I'm convinced I'm going to get it wrong. I rarely go places with change because I'm terrified I'm going to give the wrong amount of money and honestly I just find it very embarassing. Anyway, most jobs you have to handle money and I have had jobs in the past where I have worked with money and most tills do all the counting for you but sometimes just the thought of me messing up infront of people instills so much fear in me that I don't want to do it. I was doing some volunteering for barnardos charity last year and they kept trying to get me trained on the till and it made me so incredibly anxious that I ended up just leaving the volunteering, its incredibly stressful and frustrating for me. I haven't had a job for almost 3 years, I'm currently at university so all my money I have gained from my student loans or from my parents. My last job completely knocked my confidence, I had a manager who I felt was picking on me a little, I had gone from never working in this particular job to more or less managing a section on my own within 1 month, I tried very very hard but every single day I came to work she told me I had done something wrong, she even blamed me for a few things I hadn't even done. I'm very quiet and don't like confrontation so I tend to take a lot of stuff on the chin but I could not deal with that job and ended up handing in my notice after 3 months. I left that job feeling very stupid and being quite hard on myself because I just felt like I wasn't capable of doing anything. It seems silly but it makes me very emotional because I just feel like I can't do anything right when it comes to certain jobs. I got into training for a call centre a few months ago and backed out before we started making our calls, I had asked one of the people who were training us a question and the way he had answered made me feel like an idiot so I never went back, that and the fact that I was terrified of making a mistake on the calls. I know in my heart of hearts that there's no way to start a new job and not make mistakes and that assuming I will make a mistake probably makes it more likely that I will make a mistake but I can't seem to stop myself from thinking that way. So tomorrow I have an interview for a job and I feel like im already talking myself out of it, I don't even have the job and im already worrying about it. I'm thinking what if I make a mistake, what if someone is rude to me and I don't know how to deal with it, what if I get really flustered with money and make a mistake, what if I get into trouble. The whole thing makes me feel really pathetic and I really don't want anyone to give me special treatment because I'm so anxious but its so tricky when I feel like people are judging me for making mistakes. I know that's also part of my anxiety, thinking that I'm being judged but I do. I worry that like co-workers, managers etc think that I am an idiot or that I am incapable and its a struggle for me to put myself out there.
Thank you for reading.