Hello...

[StigthePig101]

Hello.

I have decided to join this forum as it has come to a point where I am truly struggling.

I was diagnosed with general anxiety and low moods this January, although my family and boyfriend think I have been suffering for it for years.

I have no one I can talk to about what I feel and I feel very isolated. My boyfriend I try and talk to but he just does not understand...

Regarding my anxiety, this usually kicks in at night for no obvious reason, I will get the anxious feeling, constantly shake and just generally feel shook up.
I get a very tight chest, either a strong beating heart or palpitations, I cannot keep still, I feel sick and sometimes I have an overwhelming urge to just scratch myself all over, particularly my eyes.
I get very stressed over the smallest things and get irritated. I get very stressed in situations where I feel I have a lot to do or someone is pressuring me (even though they are such small tasks). I cannot go into new places, for example, shops. I cannot talk to strangers and I dread meeting new people. I constantly feel like everyone is talking about me and laughing about me. I worry so much I make myself ill, even though there is not anything to really worry about.

With my low moods once again these come on very suddenly, I all of a sudden feel very down and usually start crying for no reason. I have at times become hysterical.

I constantly feel like I am going crazy and would prefer not to be alive.

I am on peroxetine 30mg and have been for five months but feel I am simply getting worse again. I am starting CBT on the 15th June and I am so worried and I am already thinking of dropping out...

[needtogetwell]

Hello Stig.

Welcome to the forum. Many of us truly understand what you are going through.

The one thing that may help you emensely is the CBT therapy, please don't cancel out on that. It will take some practice but once you get control of your thought patterns you will be half way there.

Another thing you can do is learn some diaphragmatic breathing exercises, they are also very helpful.

Hang in there, this anxiety can be controlled, so you can get back to the life that ales you happy.

Cheers

[StigthePig101]

Thank you.

I am just petrified of meeting them and I do not really want to talk to them.

To be honest I feel a mess at the moment and feel I have absolutely no control of my life. I am constantly thinking I cannot do things because I always fear the worse...

[needtogetwell]

Is there any chance that a family member or close friend can go with you the first time? The therapist only wants to help you, they see this all the time. My experience is that they are very non- judgemental and only want to help you get the tools you need to bring yourself out of what you call mess.

You can do this! Small baby steps!
:)

[needtogetwell]

Something else just occurred to me that you may want to try. I suggested this to another member last year and she found it very helpful.

This is what I call the " good thing journal".
It is really quite simple, every time you accomplish something or do something good, write it down. Include everything, nothing is too small or insignificant. Things like " went for a walk to the corner and back" or " washed up after tea" or " walked the dog".

Make sure that you re-read this journal every day, and also make sure that all you put in there are the good things.

It is my experience that when we have anxiety issues it is really easy to get caught up in the negatives or the I cants. This little exercise shows you in black and white just how many good things you do in a day.