sae
06-07-2015, 05:10 PM
I am very happy conscious, or at least I thought I was. I equated my insufferable cheerfulness to being happy; little did I know the two really have little to do with one another. In reality I was contentment oriented, not happy.
I think understanding the differences between the two is important. Contentment is the pleasure your current surroundings, environment, people and situations bring you. To be content you only have to look around around you. I am currently sitting in my favorite chair, my two dogs curled up at my feet asleep, listening to Explosions in the Sky and tapping about my contemplations on my favorite spazz forum. The dishes are done, the house smells of honeysuckle and that damned bird that irritates me outside my window has taken a break.
Happiness is something altogether different. Happiness is a journey from one place to another in your life. You seek happiness by making goals, be they short term or long, small or big, for the benefit or yourself or vicariously through others. I am happy because I was able to make the money through art sales to throw my kid a low budget birthday party at her favorite bubble tea shop. I am happy because I have committed myself to living healthier so I can be as able as I am today. Mostly, I am happy because I made it to today. Each happiness is not in and of itself a conclusion, but one step in a myriad of little journies. I still have to plan a party, keep myself active and away from falling into compulsive eating habits, and keep on keeping on for as many days as the Lord allows.
In anxiety and depression a person becomes short sighted, focused entirely on the problems. I fell into the trap of going through my everyday focused on making the panic stop, feeling excitement for the next day, the next hour, and avoiding the things I feared. I spent so much time worried and saddened by the world around me there was just no time to find contentment or to create happiness.
My cheerfulness had become a sticky saccharine facade, a pale effort to gain favor from those around me in an effort to some how be in just the right spot for happiness to fall in my lap. Big surprise: it never did.
I began to make time for contentment first. I spent less time focusing on the problems, my failing health or the nakedness inside my pantry. Instead I took joy in the fact I woke up again in a day I was never promised to have. I looked at the meager selection of food and found just the right mix of crap to share a nice dinner with my loved ones. The problems didn't go away, but they became less in focus.
That's where happiness came in. Chasing happiness meant I had to roll up my sleeves and do some work. My happiness is derived from seeking to change my problems into solutions and accepting the things that nothing can fix. For example: I'm always going to be miserably short. I accept my last growth spurt was lost in the mail some 20 years ago. I can't spontaneously grow to make my favorite jeans fit right, but I can hem them.
You are a garden plot for happiness and contentment to grow. You have to clear out the rocks and till up the soil, plant your seeds and keep vigilant watch over them before they bear fruit. Sometimes life happens, a storm washes by and you have to replant. When it's all said and done your hands will be calloused, your tools will be well used, but the fruits of your labor will be evident to yourself and others.
I think understanding the differences between the two is important. Contentment is the pleasure your current surroundings, environment, people and situations bring you. To be content you only have to look around around you. I am currently sitting in my favorite chair, my two dogs curled up at my feet asleep, listening to Explosions in the Sky and tapping about my contemplations on my favorite spazz forum. The dishes are done, the house smells of honeysuckle and that damned bird that irritates me outside my window has taken a break.
Happiness is something altogether different. Happiness is a journey from one place to another in your life. You seek happiness by making goals, be they short term or long, small or big, for the benefit or yourself or vicariously through others. I am happy because I was able to make the money through art sales to throw my kid a low budget birthday party at her favorite bubble tea shop. I am happy because I have committed myself to living healthier so I can be as able as I am today. Mostly, I am happy because I made it to today. Each happiness is not in and of itself a conclusion, but one step in a myriad of little journies. I still have to plan a party, keep myself active and away from falling into compulsive eating habits, and keep on keeping on for as many days as the Lord allows.
In anxiety and depression a person becomes short sighted, focused entirely on the problems. I fell into the trap of going through my everyday focused on making the panic stop, feeling excitement for the next day, the next hour, and avoiding the things I feared. I spent so much time worried and saddened by the world around me there was just no time to find contentment or to create happiness.
My cheerfulness had become a sticky saccharine facade, a pale effort to gain favor from those around me in an effort to some how be in just the right spot for happiness to fall in my lap. Big surprise: it never did.
I began to make time for contentment first. I spent less time focusing on the problems, my failing health or the nakedness inside my pantry. Instead I took joy in the fact I woke up again in a day I was never promised to have. I looked at the meager selection of food and found just the right mix of crap to share a nice dinner with my loved ones. The problems didn't go away, but they became less in focus.
That's where happiness came in. Chasing happiness meant I had to roll up my sleeves and do some work. My happiness is derived from seeking to change my problems into solutions and accepting the things that nothing can fix. For example: I'm always going to be miserably short. I accept my last growth spurt was lost in the mail some 20 years ago. I can't spontaneously grow to make my favorite jeans fit right, but I can hem them.
You are a garden plot for happiness and contentment to grow. You have to clear out the rocks and till up the soil, plant your seeds and keep vigilant watch over them before they bear fruit. Sometimes life happens, a storm washes by and you have to replant. When it's all said and done your hands will be calloused, your tools will be well used, but the fruits of your labor will be evident to yourself and others.