Explosion of anger through anxiety :(

[Shiv123]

Hello everyone,

My first time here! Recently I feel like I can't come so I'm an trying new things.

My anxiety was triggered from a traumatic incident (although I have always suffered from intrusive thoughts and anxiety) therefor was diagnosed and treated for PTSD. From this followed ocd and anxiety. I had been coping better and keeping my thoughts and anxiety at bay however recently, something happened in my relationship that has triggered it all and I feel now like I'm drowning in depression and anxiety.

Anyway, sometimes I have these episodes and I wanted to know if anyone else suffers the same thing? Sometimes, something annoys me in my relationship, like something really stupid, yesterday it was the way my boyfriend asked me to go over at night. In my head I felt like he didn't really want me to go over, that he could have made more of an effort in the way he asked me and all of a sudden things and my thoughts have gotten out of control.

I literally sat sending message after message about how I felt and how he wasn't making effort, and what he should have done etc etc (this seems crazy now) but I let it build up until I was crying uncontrollably and in the end started smashing things up in this explosive anger.

He couldn't understand what was happening and just kept saying this was madness. Now I've woke up today, and it was madness!! Complete and utter. But yesterday I feel like I was in this bubble, where my thoughts where whirling round and round about what he should do and what I felt and how I felt so unwanted until it pished me to breaking point.

Now I need to apologise and try and explain where this all came from. I don't want it to happen again and I am confused about how thoughts like this can take over and push me to the lowest possible point when really, it's not a big deal!

Not sure if that even makes sense!

[NixonRulz]

Hiya-

One of the biggest symptoms of anxiety is irritability. Very easy to go over the edge so what you did is completely normal with anxiety but it certainly won't get you a ring on your finger

It is pretty simple why those thoughts can push you to such a low point. You allow them to.

You make the choice in the heat of the moment if you will recognize the symptoms of anxiety taking over. If you understand that it is the anxiety symptoms, and not you making that decision, you can choose to let it pass.

[mrslizzyg]

I can absolutely relate to this..
I have times where I just turn something that could have been a simple conversation to help my friendships/relationships/what have you, into this big volatile argument and I end up panicking.

It really is a control thing. You literally have to STOP yourself. People around you are always going to be provoking in some way... and your anxiety is always going to be ready to jump down their throats. You need to learn when to walk away, set your phone down, or just do something to distract yourself until you are in a better place to talk about how you are feeling(if need be.)

I'm not perfect at this yet- I still have big fights with my husband sometimes, where we both end up saying things we shouldn't have, and I wake up in the morning feeling like shit because I lost it when I had not "logical" reason to...BUT.. I have gotten A LOT BETTER.

And to be honest, it is a two way street in a relationship. My husband knows I have anxiety issues and I can be quick to jump the gun.. So on the days that he knows I'm about to flip, he will try to calm me down instead of fueling the fire.Again, it's not a perfect thing, and it doesn't always happen... but it lessens the big blow ups...Being open and honest about this has immensely changed A LOT of my relationships with people, not just him.