Kixxi
06-03-2015, 11:46 AM
Hi everyone,
Most of you know me already, for those of you that do not, I am suffering from some severe agoraphobia.
The problem I am having at the moment is that we leave on holiday in three weeks. Our family holidays consist of going out every single day, which is very terrifying to me. Last year I got so terrified I could not leave the caravan we were staying in. I am able to go out at the moment, but not for huge lengths of time. The longest I managed over the past year was three and a half hours in the restaurant. I felt to sick to eat, so the only thing I could really enjoy was the ice cream at the end when most of the people in the restaurant had left. Now, when we go on holiday, we are out for 7 to 8 hours if not longer, when all I really want is 5 minutes relief of that anxiety when I am out. Since we are going with public transport, there is no place to run in my head. I know it is in my head and that there is nothing dangerous, I have become afraid of the panic itself. I know that it eventually dies down and that I am responsible for it, but that does not stop me of being absolutely terrified right now. I can't really talk about it with anyone else, because most people around me feel that I should just get over it. I don't want to bother my fiancé about it any more either, because he has to live with me and this problem on a daily basis.
Right now I don't know how to deal with these feelings. At the moment I can deal with the anticipation anxiety and try to tell myself that I simply cannot know what is going to happen and if I do get a panic attack, it will pass and I should just try anyway. I guess I just need support and maybe some tips of how to deal with this holiday. Personally, I do not think I am ready to do so much exposure in one go. I've also reached out for CBT treatment five months ago, I should be off the waiting list right now and receiving treatment, but no word yet, even after calling them multiple times.
Most of you know me already, for those of you that do not, I am suffering from some severe agoraphobia.
The problem I am having at the moment is that we leave on holiday in three weeks. Our family holidays consist of going out every single day, which is very terrifying to me. Last year I got so terrified I could not leave the caravan we were staying in. I am able to go out at the moment, but not for huge lengths of time. The longest I managed over the past year was three and a half hours in the restaurant. I felt to sick to eat, so the only thing I could really enjoy was the ice cream at the end when most of the people in the restaurant had left. Now, when we go on holiday, we are out for 7 to 8 hours if not longer, when all I really want is 5 minutes relief of that anxiety when I am out. Since we are going with public transport, there is no place to run in my head. I know it is in my head and that there is nothing dangerous, I have become afraid of the panic itself. I know that it eventually dies down and that I am responsible for it, but that does not stop me of being absolutely terrified right now. I can't really talk about it with anyone else, because most people around me feel that I should just get over it. I don't want to bother my fiancé about it any more either, because he has to live with me and this problem on a daily basis.
Right now I don't know how to deal with these feelings. At the moment I can deal with the anticipation anxiety and try to tell myself that I simply cannot know what is going to happen and if I do get a panic attack, it will pass and I should just try anyway. I guess I just need support and maybe some tips of how to deal with this holiday. Personally, I do not think I am ready to do so much exposure in one go. I've also reached out for CBT treatment five months ago, I should be off the waiting list right now and receiving treatment, but no word yet, even after calling them multiple times.