Joy4456
06-03-2015, 05:08 AM
Hi,
Anxiety has been a story of a lifetime for me.
The funny thing is, it took me forever to realize that this was my problem. I used to think I was depressed.. but I know anxiety and depression can be linked, so I think it's my anxiety could be causing depression in me sometimes.
As a kid I felt like something was 'wrong' with me. I tried to tell that to a few people, but nobody took me seriously.
I assumed it was all just in my head and went on in my life. I had difficulties socializing without getting stressed. But I always managed somehow, by giving myself a big kick in the butt.
That's the way my mum raised me, to never give up fighting, and to get out there and try your best. Being scared would not be an option. You had to be brave in life. She also told me that things could always be worst and to be happy with what I have. It's some good advice, for sure.. and I did try to listen. But it didn't magically solve all my anxiety issues.
I always hear the same from all my boyfriends 'why are you making unnecessary drama' 'why are you so stressed about nothing?' 'I don't understand you' 'there's something wrong with you'.
These comments... seriously... don't help...
Telling an anxious person to stop freaking out is kinda like telling a depressed person to stop being sad, or tell an alcoholic to stop drinking. If it were that easy you don't think we would have done it already?
I'm trying not to be mad at them. How could they understand if they never had this issue?
It took me ages to figure out I had anxiety issues. I went to a psychologist once as a kid, he told me I was 'normal' (..whatever that means). I then went to see a shrink 5 years ago. He said I am perfectly fine. I tried to see a shrink again yesterday evening, and it did not help at all. She barely had any useful advice for me.
I only figured out that I had this anxiety problem around 2/3 years ago. It started affecting my work and relationships. That's when I decided to start facing my problem once and for all and take necessary steps in order to deal with this better.
I tried to reach out to family members, it turns out some of them have anxiety issues as well and have taken anti-anxiety meds on and off in their lives. My aunt's anxiety got so bad, that she could not leave her apartment anymore for years. She was too scared to leave her 'safe zone'.
Is it possible for anxiety to run in the family? I tried to ask my shrink yesterday and she wasn't able to give me a clear answer.
One of the main questions I am facing at this time in my life is: are anxiety disorders curable or is that something we just need to accept and make the best of it?
I have been trying to work this out for months.
I noticed that exercice and working out can help, as well as drinking certain teas (like chamomille). According to some articles Magnesium helps too, so I have been taking some. Drinking one or two glasses of white or red wine after a long day of work relaxes me too (without getting drunk, because for some reason hangover's make my hart race and it feels terrible). I even stopped taking the birth control, because the anxiety and mood swings were bad (I changed birth control brands like 4 times and nothing worked for me so I got tired of it and stopped taking any).
Those things help a bit, but they don't solve the issue all the way.
I have tried to take some anti-anxiety medication (not every day, only when my anxiety gets really bad.. because I know these things are addictive) and it helps a bit, but I feel like it's only a matter of time before anxiety kicks back.
The anxiety kicks in at random times sometimes. When I am about to enter a job interview I consider it somewhat normal to be stressed. But sometimes I am watching a movie at home on a Sunday and my harts suddenly beats like crazy for some unknown reason (and no, I'm not watching a scary movie :D).
What bothers me the most is the feeling that anxiety is 'controling my life'. Not the other way around.
I had to quit my last job because the stress became unbearable. I am now in a very safe job, in a safe environment. It allows me to rest my mind, but part of me is feeling like I am escaping.
I have to admit, having a confortable job, a steady relationship, reliable things around me and a repetitive routine seems attractive to me right now. Taking it easy for a while might not be such a bad thing. I've just moved all accross the world with my boyfriend, and that was a very stressful experience.
So now I am trying to surroung myself with positivity rather than negativity. I recently cut some friends out of my life that were toxic (sorry guys..). I've been trying to be a little more selfish lately.
I've spent my whole life trying to please other people and trying to help everybody (ex-boyfriends, friends, coworkers, strangers even..), and it seriously started to bring me down. At the end of the day, nobody was there to 'take care of me'. And solving my anxiety has now taken priority above everything else.
Another thing: my whole life I've been throwing myself into extreme situations to fight my anxiety: going on crazy vacations, moving from one city to another, accepting risky job offers, taking scuba diving lessons ( the list goes on). Because I did not want to end up as a lonely woman too scared to leave her apartment. I wanted to fight and I thought it would eventually cure my anxiety, because I would look back and see everything I've achieved and I could finally have some peace of mind.
Maybe I was naive to think this would be a solution.
It's better than giving up, but it sure did not solve my anxiety problem.
I now decided to join this forum in hope of reading about people who have similar problems. Almost nobody in my surroundings even know I have anxiety. The rare ones I've opened up to about this were very confused, because they said that I looked like a very calm person and then they just stared at me with this blank confused look... (making me feel even more alone in this world).
I guess I learned how to hide my anxiety very well over the years, because I've been hurt too many times by people who will take advantage of other people's 'weaknesses'.
But still, looking for answers.
Thanks for reading and have a nice non-stressful day !
Joy
Anxiety has been a story of a lifetime for me.
The funny thing is, it took me forever to realize that this was my problem. I used to think I was depressed.. but I know anxiety and depression can be linked, so I think it's my anxiety could be causing depression in me sometimes.
As a kid I felt like something was 'wrong' with me. I tried to tell that to a few people, but nobody took me seriously.
I assumed it was all just in my head and went on in my life. I had difficulties socializing without getting stressed. But I always managed somehow, by giving myself a big kick in the butt.
That's the way my mum raised me, to never give up fighting, and to get out there and try your best. Being scared would not be an option. You had to be brave in life. She also told me that things could always be worst and to be happy with what I have. It's some good advice, for sure.. and I did try to listen. But it didn't magically solve all my anxiety issues.
I always hear the same from all my boyfriends 'why are you making unnecessary drama' 'why are you so stressed about nothing?' 'I don't understand you' 'there's something wrong with you'.
These comments... seriously... don't help...
Telling an anxious person to stop freaking out is kinda like telling a depressed person to stop being sad, or tell an alcoholic to stop drinking. If it were that easy you don't think we would have done it already?
I'm trying not to be mad at them. How could they understand if they never had this issue?
It took me ages to figure out I had anxiety issues. I went to a psychologist once as a kid, he told me I was 'normal' (..whatever that means). I then went to see a shrink 5 years ago. He said I am perfectly fine. I tried to see a shrink again yesterday evening, and it did not help at all. She barely had any useful advice for me.
I only figured out that I had this anxiety problem around 2/3 years ago. It started affecting my work and relationships. That's when I decided to start facing my problem once and for all and take necessary steps in order to deal with this better.
I tried to reach out to family members, it turns out some of them have anxiety issues as well and have taken anti-anxiety meds on and off in their lives. My aunt's anxiety got so bad, that she could not leave her apartment anymore for years. She was too scared to leave her 'safe zone'.
Is it possible for anxiety to run in the family? I tried to ask my shrink yesterday and she wasn't able to give me a clear answer.
One of the main questions I am facing at this time in my life is: are anxiety disorders curable or is that something we just need to accept and make the best of it?
I have been trying to work this out for months.
I noticed that exercice and working out can help, as well as drinking certain teas (like chamomille). According to some articles Magnesium helps too, so I have been taking some. Drinking one or two glasses of white or red wine after a long day of work relaxes me too (without getting drunk, because for some reason hangover's make my hart race and it feels terrible). I even stopped taking the birth control, because the anxiety and mood swings were bad (I changed birth control brands like 4 times and nothing worked for me so I got tired of it and stopped taking any).
Those things help a bit, but they don't solve the issue all the way.
I have tried to take some anti-anxiety medication (not every day, only when my anxiety gets really bad.. because I know these things are addictive) and it helps a bit, but I feel like it's only a matter of time before anxiety kicks back.
The anxiety kicks in at random times sometimes. When I am about to enter a job interview I consider it somewhat normal to be stressed. But sometimes I am watching a movie at home on a Sunday and my harts suddenly beats like crazy for some unknown reason (and no, I'm not watching a scary movie :D).
What bothers me the most is the feeling that anxiety is 'controling my life'. Not the other way around.
I had to quit my last job because the stress became unbearable. I am now in a very safe job, in a safe environment. It allows me to rest my mind, but part of me is feeling like I am escaping.
I have to admit, having a confortable job, a steady relationship, reliable things around me and a repetitive routine seems attractive to me right now. Taking it easy for a while might not be such a bad thing. I've just moved all accross the world with my boyfriend, and that was a very stressful experience.
So now I am trying to surroung myself with positivity rather than negativity. I recently cut some friends out of my life that were toxic (sorry guys..). I've been trying to be a little more selfish lately.
I've spent my whole life trying to please other people and trying to help everybody (ex-boyfriends, friends, coworkers, strangers even..), and it seriously started to bring me down. At the end of the day, nobody was there to 'take care of me'. And solving my anxiety has now taken priority above everything else.
Another thing: my whole life I've been throwing myself into extreme situations to fight my anxiety: going on crazy vacations, moving from one city to another, accepting risky job offers, taking scuba diving lessons ( the list goes on). Because I did not want to end up as a lonely woman too scared to leave her apartment. I wanted to fight and I thought it would eventually cure my anxiety, because I would look back and see everything I've achieved and I could finally have some peace of mind.
Maybe I was naive to think this would be a solution.
It's better than giving up, but it sure did not solve my anxiety problem.
I now decided to join this forum in hope of reading about people who have similar problems. Almost nobody in my surroundings even know I have anxiety. The rare ones I've opened up to about this were very confused, because they said that I looked like a very calm person and then they just stared at me with this blank confused look... (making me feel even more alone in this world).
I guess I learned how to hide my anxiety very well over the years, because I've been hurt too many times by people who will take advantage of other people's 'weaknesses'.
But still, looking for answers.
Thanks for reading and have a nice non-stressful day !
Joy