Do you think Therapy is useful?

[Bergen]

I've been seeing a therapist for the last year. I did testing and got diagnosed with SAD, GAD, and Dysthymia, which is a form of depression that is mild and ongoing (at least 2 year).
Now, a few months later, I still feel like I have no idea how to work on these things. Imagine being diagnosed with an illness, and the doctor tells you barely anything about possible treatments. Most recently things have been really bad. I finished school for the year, have close to no friends, and I got fired from my job (partially due to my SA). Basically, I have nowhere to be and nothing to do, so I've been sitting in my room a lot with little social interaction, and my depression has been steadily increasing. The last 2 sessions with my therapist have been awful. I can barely find the energy to answer her questions with more than a few words, and she mainly does all the talking. Today I got really discouraged because I said my depression was getting worse, and all she did was say that is sounded like I'm stuck and it must be really bad for me. She talked about skills to work on, but she didn't give me any. She just gave me a list of "pleasurable activities" I could do, but I'm already do a lot of them, and my depression is still getting worse.

I decided recently to do my own research to help myself since I have access to a lot of academic material being in college, and I'm wondering what other people think on the effectiveness of therapy? One paper I read suggested anxiety was better treated with therapy and depression with medication. I think even with therapy, the only way people get over anxiety is if they're willing to put in the work and apply therapy techniques. Since most therapy techniques are described somewhere online, I'm wondering if people who decide it's time to change really need therapy.

[Pumpkin]

I've never been to a therapist so it's hard to tell but I will tell you my opinion anyway.

In grade 13 (i went back for 1 semester after graduating highschool) I went to see my doctor about anxiety who referred me to a psychologist. I was 18 at the time so I was sent to a psychologist that treated adults (keep in mind I did all of this on my own... I did not want to bring my mom because I felt embarrassed and overall crappy about everything going on. I did not want to talk about it with her). I got there which took a LOT of courage and after signing a few papers the psychologist told me that she had just realized I was 18 which was really young and wouldn't benefit from seeing her. She told me that her group therapies consisted of people a bit older than me who would likely be going through different problems. I ended up leaving and they forwarded my name and referral to the child and family services.

I got a call from the child and family services unit that day or the next day and they told me that I would get an immediate appointment since I had already waited 6 months to see the original psychologist although I would need to bring my mom with me for a background of my childhood. I was so annoyed and frustrated because I was 18 and wanted privacy.. I did not want to bring my mom with me and realistically, I had the right to refuse her being apart of it as 18 is considered an adult. I ended up hanging up and saying i'd think about it and I didn't end up going or calling back.

I felt really failed by the whole system and extremely annoyed. Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I had seen that original psychologist or follow through with the child and family services.

I talked to my school guidance counsellor a bit and the child and youth worker at my school before this all happened. I was in highschool at this point and I was 17-18 years old. I opened up to my guidance counsellor quite a few times and I opened up two or three times to the CYW. They both gave me some advice and tried to make me laugh and feel comfortable. They told me that they were always there if I needed them for a little drop in chat. They helped alleviate some academic stress as well for me through some accommodations (extra time.. writing tests in different setting, etc). Just knowing that they were available for me and cared seriously helped me LOADS. I feel like they genuinely cared for me whereas I feel like many therapists/psychologists just do it for the money... I mean, they don't really care about you... they see SO many people on a daily basis.

But yeah, i've never really had any therapy/counselling. I've tried to push myself to go get help a few more times but my moods are all over the place and I never know if I really need it. Sometimes I just tell myself that the only way I can get better is by helping myself and that talking about my problems to some stranger wont fix all of my problems... I feel like it might help but I don't think it would be a life changer for me.

It's hard to tell since i've never been to a therapist with regular visits but I think you should continue your therapy since you're already set up with it and just take as much as you can from it. As long as you're getting SOMETHING I guess it is worth it. If you truly feel that it isn't helping, that is when i'd just back out and either try to fix your problems on your own or seek different help.

I wish you luck with everything... all the best :)

[superchick22684]

When I first was diagnosed (dysthymia and panic disorder), the first thing that I did was start seeing a counselor. I had some issues from my past that hadn't been resolved so it helped me through some of those issues. It also helped me deal with a lot of the stress that I was trying to deal with (I was diagnosed my third year of college.)

I've heard varying opinions on what is more effective meds and therapy, therapy alone or meds alone. Most of what I've read and people that I've talked to have said that they've found a combination of meds and therapy to be most effective. From my experience both times that I had to go on meds (I went through a period of a few years without them) I've always ended up starting out with therapy. Both times after about 6 months, my counselor recommended that we add medication to my treatment plan. Currently I'm on meds (two regularly and one as needed) and I'm going to see a counselor twice a month. I also do yoga, guided imagery (when I'm feeling anxious) and breathing exercises (mostly when I'm anxious as well). Even with using different methods to cope, I still have my bad days.

You said that the last 2 sessions with your therapist have been awful. How long have you been seeing her? If its been several months or longer maybe a new therapist is an option. I can tell you that sitting by yourself with little social interaction is definitely going to make your depression worse. I've been having that same problem myself lately.

I can say one thing that has helped me figure out aspects of my anxiety and depression is research. I think you mentioned that you're trying to do that. Just be careful about Dr. Google, he can be dangerous.

[NixonRulz]

Hey there, Bergen.

I see you are from the USA. More people from the good ol USA seem to be joining. UK used to run this place. Start of a revolution I suppose

I went to therapists when I was going through some of the really bad times. I belive it was four of them but for the life of me I can only remember three at the moment

They did little to help me but I have seen here where people swear by them. So it may come down to if you find a good one.

The lamest one was the one who kept checking the temperature of my finger tips several times during each session. He must have been a chef in training

The second was a woman that was rather young and good looking. It just turned flirtatious and we never spoke about much except the women I was attracted to. Had I known she was going to be of no help, I probably would have slept with her from the beginning and just hung out with her instead of wasting my time

The third cancelled my sessions a bunch of times but would wait until I arrived at the office to tell me. Had I known he was going to be of no help, I probably would have slept with him from the beginning and just hung with him out instead of wasting my time. LOL ;)

I belive your plan of going on a mission of learning about anxiety is awesome. That is exactly what started me on the path to healing. It seemed the more I knew, the less it gave me a fright so it just started to subside

Now I did this whilst on a SSRI which kept me completely grounded so I could absorb all of the information with a rational mind

You have a good battle plan. I like it. Slay the beast!

[petbunari]

I have been in and out of therapy for many years. Some therapists were good, some not so good. I have high anxiety now. Someone in my support group recommended a therapist who practices Schema Therapy. I waiting for a call back from the therapist. Right now I'm trying to follow the book "The Depression Cure" by Stephen Ilardi, a psychologist/researcher at the University of Kansas in the USA. The Omega-3 supplements recommended in the book seem to be helping with anxiety. The premise of the book is that living in modern society creates a lot of stress and anxiety, and that we would be well served by doing more of the things that our hunter-gather ancestors did, like performing task-based exercise with at least one other person, socializing often in small groups, getting outdoors in the sunlight more often, and some other things. I had been pretty stable anxiety-wise until yesterday, when my sprained toe, which I have in an air cast, started hurting again pretty bad. I think maybe I need surgery. I currently have no health insurance, so I am very anxious. I currently have no job, so I'm even more anxious. I know intellectually I am a smart and competent person, but I don't always feel it. When I got laid off from my job several months ago, I received severance pay, so I decided I would not work for a while or even look for a job because the process is so anxiety-producing for me. I wanted to enjoy time off, free from anxiety, and I did enjoy it while it lasted. Now I regret I did not start with a therapist right after I lost my job. I guess I've learned that life is just what happens when you are making other plans. My advice is: if you have the means to see a therapist, by all means see one. If you don't feel comfortable with the therapist, feel free to change therapists. Sorry for the stream-of-conciseness writing.

[Bergen]

Wow, you guys have some interesting thoughts. I feel like the idea the general public has of mental health issues is just go see a therapist, take some medication if there is any for your problem, and it will be fixed like that. I admit, going in, I thought I would improve a lot just going to therapy.

Pumpkin, I'm sorry that happened to you. I don't blame you for not wanting your mom there. I don't know about you, but my mom is a serious causes of a lot of my issues. When I was under 18, I saw a therapist for a year, and she offered my mom sessions over the phone. It was a nightmare. My therapist called me emo when I told her I was depressed, which is what my mom did, so I think she bought into what my mom told her more than me. My mom is a lot more emotional than I am, so she would come in and cry a lot, while I just sat there. My therapist thought she was a good parent with a problem child, and she never saw my mom for what she really was. It took me 5 years before I tried therapy again.
I was planning on sticking with my therapist for now, especially since I don't really have anyone else to talk to this summer and university students are only charge $10/session. I feel like she does kind of care. She's a graduate student and is in the clinic as part of her degree. She is supposed to leave at the end of the summer, but she said she talked to her supervisor about transferring me to the new clinic she will be at, which she really didn't have to do. However, I know what you mean about feeling like they don't care. My therapist says she cares, but I often wonder, even if she does, what good that does me since she isn't really there when I actually need her.

Superchick, I got diagnosed this year during my 2nd year of college. My therapist gave me a report of my test results, and she included medication in the recommended treatments, but she never actually brought it up in session... or really any other treatment besides continuing to talk to her about my mom for the hundredth time. I honestly don't want meds because I'm worried about dependency and what not; however, I've been moderately depressed and/or anxious for at least 7 years now, and nothing has helped, so I'm not entirely against medication. To answer your question, I've been seeing my therapist for over 9 months. She said I could switch if I felt like things weren't helping, but she's honestly the only one I've felt most comfortable with out of the 8 I've seen in my life. I feel like if I could share more, things could move along better, but I get really anxious and my mind goes blank a lot.
I hope you're able to get out more. I recommend going to the "touristy" areas of the place you live if there is one. I live in Las Vegas, and the university is just up the street from the strip, so I walked around there for a few hours, and it changed my mood entirely. I tried to get out of my shell by offering to take pictures and going to free attractions and pretending like I actually had the money to vacation lol.

Nixon, Yeah I'm from the US. I joined going on a year ago but didn't know it was like... British dominated. I think it was just the first forum to pop up on google. You sound like you've had some interesting experiences haha. I've been to 8 therapists in my life (so far), and the weirdest one I had was a therapist who was hell bent on getting me to join her gay rights group. I was pretty isolated, and she tried to convince me it would help in the socializing department. I have to wonder if improving my social life was really her intention. I've been reading up on SSRIs, and I've wondered if it was worth trying. My therapist doesn't really talk about medication, but I have an appointment with my doctor in October, so I'm thinking I could bring it up with her.

Petbunari, I have been reading up on more natural ways to help anxiety, and fish oil has come up due to it's high levels of omega-3, so I was thinking about trying it. Another thing I heard was magnesium. My doctor recommended epsom salt because my back hurts. They have a lot of magnesium, and I read they can help anxiety too. I've put off buying them, but I might do it now. I'll also look into the book you mentioned. It sounds like it could be part of what I'm looking for. I'm sorry to hear about your job and your toe. I recently got fired as you might have read. I think it mainly has to do with a boss who threatened me, so I told someone, and 3-4 weeks later I got fired. However, when I went in to the meeting where I got fired, they made it sound like there had been ongoing problems with me, even though they never said anything. I felt like I had messed everything up again. I'm pretty confident now that they were just trying to justify getting rid of me, but thoughts still creep into my head. I'm putting off the job hunt for now too. I did get offered a volunteer position at my university which will actually look better on my resume for the goals I have after graduating than a minimum wage office job will. I also know the stresses of not having insurance. Even with insurance, medical care if expensive. I hope you get your job situation sorted out and don't have to have surgery. Thanks for the advice; I imagine I'll be sticking with my therapist for the mean time.

[gypsylee]

Yes, but only if you click with the therapist. There are some shockers out there.

[petbunari]

Hi Bergen.

Thanks for you good wishes for me.

I started seeing therapist recently who practices something called Schema Therapy, which was created by a psychologist in the US named Jeffrey Young. According a website I found: "A schema is an extremely stable, enduring negative pattern that develops during childhood or adolescence and is elaborated throughout an individual’s life. We view the world through our schemas."

I discovered that one the schemas that I probably do have is that I believe that I cannot achieve at work and that I am less successful than others, etc. I think that's one of the reasons I'm avoiding moving forward with a serious job search. From the list of schemas you can find online, I probably have a whole bunch more negative core beliefs. Supposedly Schema Therapy is designed to help people who have not seen success with some other types of therapy.

I am hopeful the therapy will help me.

As far as troubles in the workplace, I had my own difficulties with at least two bosses, so I think I can imagine how tough it must have been for you. I've discovered over the years that you have to be very careful at the workplace.

In my last job I was stupid one time and made a political comment to a younger colleague. I thought my comment was innocent but the colleague took offense. The colleague did the smart and proper thing and sent me an email stating disapproval over what I said. The email was written in a firm but respectful tone. I wrote an email back that I understood the colleague's point of view. Afterward I made every effort to never say anything to anyone again that could be interpreted in slightest way as offensive. The colleague was smart to document the disapproval via email.

For something as serious as receiving a threat from a superior at work, I believe it's important to document the incident by writing detailed notes about what happened and then consult a labor attorney, if possible, before doing anything else. By taking detailed notes, at least you will have some kind of evidence just in case the same boss repeats the "bad" behavior. It's probably a good idea to send the notes to yourself via email or through the US postal service so you can have a date and time stamp on your notes.

I hope some of this helps. All the best to you Bergen. I rooting for you!

[Im-Suffering]

As with any other profession, or human - performing it - you've got hero's and zero's. Just because a carpet cleaner is a zero does not mean the whole profession is useless.

Here's the question as to what you will personally attract into your experience when looking for help from a peer (doesn't matter the title, doctor, lawyer, Indian chief)-

"Do I believe?"

If you've got a broken computer, you could hire Bill Gates to fix it, but if you don't believe, he will leave and you will have a fruitless experience left with more broken parts than you started with.

So now your left with 2 questions.

1) Do you believe what I have just told you?

2) Do you believe ?

What do you believe. Before entering any activity, ask self "what do I really believe about this?" And be honest.

Now the tricky part comes next ! Most of your (anyones) beliefs are from childhood and are false representations about reality. So after you ask self "do I believe (in this or that)" you must follow with "why?" And if this belief feels badly you know most assuredly it's false. You must in those cases change those beliefs to beneficial ones.

[Bergen]

Petbunari, I can definitely relate to your experience with your colleague. However, with me it was the opposite. I got on well for the most part with the people in my office. I'm socially awkward, so I know I stuck out a little, but it was nothing serious. Then this new boss came, and she was the one who would bring up things like religion and gossip about coworkers, and this was only after a couple weeks on the job. After she made the comments, I spoke with my direct supervisor who made a note of it, but when I got fired, they said it was a strike against me. I asked for feedback on what she thought I should have done differently, but I just got really vague answers that didn't address my questions. It seems to me social anxiety makes it harder to deal with bosses. I have a friend with SA, and she has problems with her boss kind of singling her out. I hope getting a better handle on my SA will make me more successful at future jobs.
You'll have to let us know if the Schema therapy works. I read up on it after your original post, and it seems a lot different than other therapies. My current one seems to be big on dialectical behavioral therapy. Not entirely sure what it is though. I hope it works out for you.

Im-suffering, you raise a good point. I think it's really important to have faith in the therapy process because if you go in thinking it won't work, it probably won't. However, I don't think by any means I'm looking for the easy way out. I honestly think some people who go to therapy are looking for an easy way. When I went, I thought I would go to therapy, maybe get some medication, and that would be enough, but I decided to look for something more. I think practicing self-help in some ways is even harder because you have to be proactive about research and self disciplined in any treatment you try. I've only been researching for a month, but I already feel like I've started learning how to honestly reflect on myself without a therapist, and I'm more confident by learning coping strategies that I can use in the future without relying on therapy and/or medication as the only alternative. It's unconventional by medical standards, but I don't feel that equates to easy.

[Im-Suffering]

Forgive me for the 'easy way out' comment. I since deleted that line at the end.