Pluto
06-01-2015, 08:58 AM
Hi
I'm 17 now and I'll attend the 11th and 12th grade. In my country (so I am not a native speaker) this are the two last classes before going to university.
Where I live, the matura (honestly, I don't know how I have to compare it to your type) is set up by 900 points. The first 300 are the points you've gained in your whole 11th class, the next 300 the points you've gained in your whole 12th class and the last 300 the points you've got in your final exams. And by "whole 11/12th class", I mean it so: All your grades (which are points actually not grades) from all subjects you have (even sports!) count to your matura. It's tough, I know.
And because I know, that it's gonna be hard, I'm gonna prepare myself for this "war": I've made up strategies, how to impress my teachers to get the maximum grade/points when she/he will grade my behavior, I've already made up a list of training books I'm gonna buy, I thought about how to improve in sports (because I have a C- now and I want to have minimum an A-), etc.
My goal is to have a GPA level of 4.0, but you don't have to have all 900 points for it. (Now, I have a GPA of 3.2, and I now, that I could make it better)
And as I have begun to prepare myself for this, I've realized a kind of anxiety coming up: The anxiety to swallow liquids and food.
One time, it was kinda 5 years ago, I chocked on a coke because I had laughed at the same time as I had drunk. Nothing happened since then, but now, suddenly, I am afraid of drinking and eating!
Now, I have two weeks vacations (because of Pentecost) and right before the vacations started, I'd struggled with swallowing. I couldn't even swallow my own spit! But then, I stopped preparing myself for the last two classes (and even thinking about school) and everything went alright! I even could eat a pizza in record time! But now, I have just a few days till school starts. So, I thought about preparing myself again (or generally to think on school) and I've started developing the same problems again! Not so strongly, but a little bit.
So, I'm here because I want an advice:
What about school? I have the opportunity to give up school and to go on another school (it's like a light-version of the school type I attend now with a connection to an occupation) or to make an apprenticeship. So, I don't know if I should go there just because I cannot handle it mentally. And are there any comparable cases or is it a special case?
I mean, school takes my energy greatly. And I'm interested in developing my skills (for example programming) and to expand my knowledge (the thing is: that's exactly the things we are not thought in school which interest me the most, like economics, politics, philosophy, linguistics, ...). But the thing is, that I know what I want to do in my life and what I want to master and once you know it, you feel restricted in school, when the school doesn't offer the subjects you like. It's kinda like when you put your kid into a basketball-club despite your kid doesn't like basketball, because he/she wants to be a tennis player.
I hope you can help!
Edit: I forgot to write that my hands are sweating when I think on school and/or the last two years.
I'm 17 now and I'll attend the 11th and 12th grade. In my country (so I am not a native speaker) this are the two last classes before going to university.
Where I live, the matura (honestly, I don't know how I have to compare it to your type) is set up by 900 points. The first 300 are the points you've gained in your whole 11th class, the next 300 the points you've gained in your whole 12th class and the last 300 the points you've got in your final exams. And by "whole 11/12th class", I mean it so: All your grades (which are points actually not grades) from all subjects you have (even sports!) count to your matura. It's tough, I know.
And because I know, that it's gonna be hard, I'm gonna prepare myself for this "war": I've made up strategies, how to impress my teachers to get the maximum grade/points when she/he will grade my behavior, I've already made up a list of training books I'm gonna buy, I thought about how to improve in sports (because I have a C- now and I want to have minimum an A-), etc.
My goal is to have a GPA level of 4.0, but you don't have to have all 900 points for it. (Now, I have a GPA of 3.2, and I now, that I could make it better)
And as I have begun to prepare myself for this, I've realized a kind of anxiety coming up: The anxiety to swallow liquids and food.
One time, it was kinda 5 years ago, I chocked on a coke because I had laughed at the same time as I had drunk. Nothing happened since then, but now, suddenly, I am afraid of drinking and eating!
Now, I have two weeks vacations (because of Pentecost) and right before the vacations started, I'd struggled with swallowing. I couldn't even swallow my own spit! But then, I stopped preparing myself for the last two classes (and even thinking about school) and everything went alright! I even could eat a pizza in record time! But now, I have just a few days till school starts. So, I thought about preparing myself again (or generally to think on school) and I've started developing the same problems again! Not so strongly, but a little bit.
So, I'm here because I want an advice:
What about school? I have the opportunity to give up school and to go on another school (it's like a light-version of the school type I attend now with a connection to an occupation) or to make an apprenticeship. So, I don't know if I should go there just because I cannot handle it mentally. And are there any comparable cases or is it a special case?
I mean, school takes my energy greatly. And I'm interested in developing my skills (for example programming) and to expand my knowledge (the thing is: that's exactly the things we are not thought in school which interest me the most, like economics, politics, philosophy, linguistics, ...). But the thing is, that I know what I want to do in my life and what I want to master and once you know it, you feel restricted in school, when the school doesn't offer the subjects you like. It's kinda like when you put your kid into a basketball-club despite your kid doesn't like basketball, because he/she wants to be a tennis player.
I hope you can help!
Edit: I forgot to write that my hands are sweating when I think on school and/or the last two years.