Big backwards step

[mikecole114]

So I have been improving gradually over about 2 years now but I've now gone home from uni to work for summer. When I became depressed and suicidal I had a friend who flipped and wanted nothing to do with me and contributed heavily at least one of my suicide attempts. Today I found out this Same person has been Round my house all weekend with my flat mates, he slept in my bed, my things, my friends, one of my house mates went to school with me and this wanker guy so he invited him up and let him in all my things without mentioning to me. Am I anxious as shit! Or is this a legitimate worry! To have someone who ruined your life freely go through your stuff and friends! How do I react? I am angry and furious but getting angry is only gonna make me look emotionally unstable still. How do we react to my friend who has slyly invited him knowing how I would feel?

[Kuma]

So I have been improving gradually over about 2 years now but I've now gone home from uni to work for summer. When I became depressed and suicidal I had a friend who flipped and wanted nothing to do with me and contributed heavily at least one of my suicide attempts. Today I found out this Same person has been Round my house all weekend with my flat mates, he slept in my bed, my things, my friends, one of my house mates went to school with me and this wanker guy so he invited him up and let him in all my things without mentioning to me. Am I anxious as shit! Or is this a legitimate worry! To have someone who ruined your life freely go through your stuff and friends! How do I react? I am angry and furious but getting angry is only gonna make me look emotionally unstable still. How do we react to my friend who has slyly invited him knowing how I would feel?

If a friend of your's told you that this happened to him, and said: "Mike -- what is your advice to me about how to respond to this? I want to express my displeasure about it, but I want to do so in an appropriate and measured way that seems rational and does not escalate the situation?" Your answer to this question probably suggests a way for you to respond.

In saying this, I am assuming that you know with certainty that what you say actually occurred. If you think it might not have occurred, then you could calmly inquire about it first -- because of course you don't want to accuse anyone of anything -- even in a measured way -- if you don't have your facts right.

Good luck.

[gypsylee]

So I have been improving gradually over about 2 years now but I've now gone home from uni to work for summer. When I became depressed and suicidal I had a friend who flipped and wanted nothing to do with me and contributed heavily at least one of my suicide attempts. Today I found out this Same person has been Round my house all weekend with my flat mates, he slept in my bed, my things, my friends, one of my house mates went to school with me and this wanker guy so he invited him up and let him in all my things without mentioning to me. Am I anxious as shit! Or is this a legitimate worry! To have someone who ruined your life freely go through your stuff and friends! How do I react? I am angry and furious but getting angry is only gonna make me look emotionally unstable still. How do we react to my friend who has slyly invited him knowing how I would feel?

Yeah I'd be upset too but people will always do dickish things like this unfortunately.

[mikecole114]

I don't understand what you mean did it actually happen? Are you saying I'm making up these reasons to not like this person? Making up my illness? What do you know about me

[Mr Jingles]

The way I read Kumas post, he's suggesting you inquire if you're not sure. Great advice in his post, I'm copying it to read later, I'm sure I can use that approach.

There have been many times when I thought I understood what was happening or what another person did or thought, and I was wrong, or more often, just didn't have a full understanding. And a better understanding can help in dealing with a delicate situation, especially with a relationship that is important to you.

[Kuma]

I don't understand what you mean did it actually happen? Are you saying I'm making up these reasons to not like this person? Making up my illness? What do you know about me

Yup, Mr. Jingles has it right. Certainly I'm not saying you are making up your illness. I would never say that. And actually I am not saying you are making up anything at all. All I was saying is IF you have any doubt that your friend allowed this guy to sleep in your bed and mess with your property, etc. (I'm assuming you did not actually see it occur), then you might want to verify that it is true, to avoid wrongly accusing someone or resenting something because of a misunderstanding. If, on the other hand, you are certain that what you think occurred is actually what occurred, then my advice would be as set forth in my first paragraph. Best wishes.

[mikecole114]

Oh okay. Well he did spend the weekend in my room which feels like someone who previously assaulted me has Been able to find everything about my new life. The friend who invited him sees no issue with this. Is it fair that tell him that it is either me or him? Purely because I don't want him in my life at all. Before yesterday I hadn't thought of this guy in months and now I'm more anxious then ever. Is it fair to make a friend pick between friends if it makes me so much worse with my illness?

[mikecole114]

My other house mates confirmed that he was staying in my room and whether he went through all my stuff or not it doesn't matter because the thought that he has been able to fucks with me