Everythng in Life Takes Work!- Better to Realize This Now!

[PanicCured]

I find Millenials have the biggest problem with this but I think everyone can use the reminder. Many people here, especially older, can attest to this.

Here is how life works:

Work is what gets you to that place of your dreams. If you want a good job, nice car, lots of money or even heal anxiety, it is a result after the work you do. It amazes me that many people now think they are owed all these good things without doing the work.

You may think, life is short, why stress, just live it up. Except it doesn't work like that, unfortunately. Good things come to those who do the work to get those good things.

Example: You are 50 lbs. overweight, there is no secret pill or secret formula. You can eat low carb and/or low calorie, or whatever diet sure, but it takes work and pain. You take 6 months of not fun, hard work, excercize, not eating the foods you want and feeling like shit and bored, then 6 months later you are rockin a hot body! But everyone wants to lose 50 lbs. without feeling any pain. So because they didn't feel pain for 6 months, 6 months later they are still 50 lbs. overweight.

This is the same for making money although we are taking years. You may need years of education and years of crap work to work your way up to good work. You can do bong loads all day and play video games in all your free time and work at Taco Bell to make money to buy weed and games because you don't want to do the work, because work is pain, but if you went through the pain, eventually you wold have a better life.

You want anxiety to go away, but then you may think you want the miracle pill. If you took 3-6 months of hardcore healing instead of looking for quick fixes, imagine where you'd be in 6 months from now?

Parents really need to get back to teaching kids at a young age that the only thing in life that works is work!

[Im-Suffering]

This (the OP post) is but one of the beliefs the OP holds that contributed to the stress breakdown, or nervous condition.


I find Millenials have the biggest problem with this but I think everyone can use the reminder. Many people here, especially older, can attest to this.

Here is how life works:

Work is what gets you to that place of your dreams. If you want a good job, nice car, lots of money or even heal anxiety, it is a result after the work you do. It amazes me that many people now think they are owed all these good things without doing the work.

You may think, life is short, why stress, just live it up. Except it doesn't work like that, unfortunately. Good things come to those who do the work to get those good things.

Example: You are 50 lbs. overweight, there is no secret pill or secret formula. You can eat low carb and/or low calorie, or whatever diet sure, but it takes work and pain. You take 6 months of not fun, hard work, excercize, not eating the foods you want and feeling like shit and bored, then 6 months later you are rockin a hot body! But everyone wants to lose 50 lbs. without feeling any pain. So because they didn't feel pain for 6 months, 6 months later they are still 50 lbs. overweight.

This is the same for making money although we are taking years. You may need years of education and years of crap work to work your way up to good work. You can do bong loads all day and play video games in all your free time and work at Taco Bell to make money to buy weed and games because you don't want to do the work, because work is pain, but if you went through the pain, eventually you wold have a better life.

You want anxiety to go away, but then you may think you want the miracle pill. If you took 3-6 months of hardcore healing instead of looking for quick fixes, imagine where you'd be in 6 months from now?

Parents really need to get back to teaching kids at a young age that the only thing in life that works is work!

In summary (the OP):

Anything in life takes work

work = pain
pain is inherent
pain = (leads to) fulfillment
pain = (then) deserving (false crippling belief)
life takes work, life = pain

because the only thing that works is work and so one would always be working at 'something', most of life is spent in pain.

This is one persons beliefs. That is apparent. It would be good for all of you, the readers here, to create your own life, and protect your minds from outside influences, to exert your own will and cultivate your own minds. Without absorbing the distorted views of anyone or anything else. This is the problem. Let your life, good or bad be of your own making, your errors and successes.

To be more accurate, life unfolds from action. Each action expands on itself creating the opportunity for new action, and opening probabilities that were not there before. That is why each one of you is valuable. What you do counts.

This OP has/had anxiety because of his views, his beliefs, one of which is that action is painful, or that there is a certain degree of pain to achieve a pleasurable state. This is simply false. And a stressful world view.

This particular OP is continually teaching what he himself has to learn. This is the way through his particularly rigid exterior. Since no direct feedback from peers is considered. In this case his belief is false.

Action = joy, period. To every creature, that is not weighted down by false and conflicted assumptions of their own worth and value.

The 'millennial' generation is closer to escaping this belief (as a group) that so many hold (changing the course of society).

Parents main curriculum should be joy. Teaching their children how to live each moment joyfully, no matter what the moment holds. That would be a magical life.

Not that each action is born from some innate (human) defect or deficit that must be overcome with pain, for some distorted goal. That the reality they were born into is inherently painful. Or that they must encounter pain to make it fulfilling.

Pain (some form of suffering) becomes a means (generally accepted) toward fulfillment.

[Kuma]

Really interesting to read these two different perspectives. I often see things differently than both of the above posters, but in this instance I see merit to both.

PC says, in substance, "young people should not be so lazy -- if you want to achieve some things -- money or relief from anxiety or whatever -- that is going to take effort."

IS says, in substance, don't teach your kids that they must suffer pain (for example, through work that they do not enjoy) in order to achieve their goals; teach them instead to live life joyfully.

Of course, each parent -- and each person -- must make her or his own decisions. But maybe there is some way to reconcile these apparently conflicting beliefs. For example, maybe a parent should try to teach her children that their highest goals should be to achieve happiness for themselves and to help others achieve happiness -- in each case, not as a far-off goal -- a horizon that can never be reached -- but as a reality in their day to day lives.. And, at least as it relates to themselves, they should resist defining happiness according to other people's notions, but instead look inside themselves to determine how they will be fulfilled and joyful (which may change, perhaps repeatedly, throughout their lives). But they should realize that achieving happiness for themselves, and helping others to achieve their own happiness, can require some effort and some persistence and some commitment -- it does not always come immediately, and it often comes most readily to those who take responsibility rather than leaving matters to chance. So be ready to "work" toward, and take responsibility for, your own happiness, and to help others achieve their own. But this "work" does not need to be unpleasant. Indeed, the effort itself can, and should, be joyful.

[gypsylee]

Kuma for the win! ;)

[Im-Suffering]

Let me add,

Joy should be taught (as a basic sense of self/internal), and here is the contradiction, as being innate. That the child has a 'right to be here', an integral, valuable portion of all 'creature hood'. In those terms joy is not an achievement but inbred in all species. After some interaction with the earth and his peers (in the early years), one becomes separated from joy (love), and that pain referred to by the OP is measured to the degree of that separation (pain is learned, joy is innate). Pain will become the framework that all things are measured with. "I must suffer thus and so, to achieve this desired result" when all the while he is trying to resolve this conundrum, to return to this joyful state that he was born as. That joy, that he should 'come from' (innately) in all of his experiences.

Animals, plants, certainly a flower know this secret and in expressing this innate sense of self others are so affected. A flower for example need not try to find joy in its existence, it is joy, this internal state is expressed in its outward beauty. Ideally this can be cultivated in the child, purposefully.

[Dahila]

Kuma and IMS you both made a valid points. life is tough and we need to chose our path; path of pain or joy. I would chose joy anytime. I am sad person and smile not to often because I was perceiving liFe like Paniccured, for years pain, suffering. Just lately I had opened up and trying to live my life joyfully. Every day is precious, and it is what we should teach younger generation. They have tools to achieve the greatness they just need to love themselves and others. Be happy and do not harm. Everyone should work, learn something that give them happiness, it is the most important, life is short and fast Boys. Before you knew time will be up:))

[PanicCured]

This (the OP post) is but one of the beliefs the OP holds that contributed to the stress breakdown, or nervous condition.



In summary (the OP):

Anything in life takes work

work = pain
pain is inherent
pain = (leads to) fulfillment
pain = (then) deserving (false crippling belief)
life takes work, life = pain

because the only thing that works is work and so one would always be working at 'something', most of life is spent in pain.

This is one persons beliefs. That is apparent. It would be good for all of you, the readers here, to create your own life, and protect your minds from outside influences, to exert your own will and cultivate your own minds. Without absorbing the distorted views of anyone or anything else. This is the problem. Let your life, good or bad be of your own making, your errors and successes.

To be more accurate, life unfolds from action. Each action expands on itself creating the opportunity for new action, and opening probabilities that were not there before. That is why each one of you is valuable. What you do counts.

This OP has/had anxiety because of his views, his beliefs, one of which is that action is painful, or that there is a certain degree of pain to achieve a pleasurable state. This is simply false. And a stressful world view.

This particular OP is continually teaching what he himself has to learn. This is the way through his particularly rigid exterior. Since no direct feedback from peers is considered. In this case his belief is false.

Action = joy, period. To every creature, that is not weighted down by false and conflicted assumptions of their own worth and value.

The 'millennial' generation is closer to escaping this belief (as a group) that so many hold (changing the course of society).

Parents main curriculum should be joy. Teaching their children how to live each moment joyfully, no matter what the moment holds. That would be a magical life.

Not that each action is born from some innate (human) defect or deficit that must be overcome with pain, for some distorted goal. That the reality they were born into is inherently painful. Or that they must encounter pain to make it fulfilling.

Pain (some form of suffering) becomes a means (generally accepted) toward fulfillment.

"work = pain
pain is inherent
pain = (leads to) fulfillment
pain = (then) deserving (false crippling belief)
life takes work, life = pain"

No that is not the point! You did not comprehend my post and completely misunderstood it. The point is so simple. I obviously do not mean everyone be in pain all day long. I don't agree with you and your posts come across as a holier than thou delusional egomaniac! What makes you think you know so much about so many people without ever meeting them?

[PanicCured]

Really interesting to read these two different perspectives. I often see things differently than both of the above posters, but in this instance I see merit to both.

PC says, in substance, "young people should not be so lazy -- if you want to achieve some things -- money or relief from anxiety or whatever -- that is going to take effort."

IS says, in substance, don't teach your kids that they must suffer pain (for example, through work that they do not enjoy) in order to achieve their goals; teach them instead to live life joyfully.

Of course, each parent -- and each person -- must make her or his own decisions. But maybe there is some way to reconcile these apparently conflicting beliefs. For example, maybe a parent should try to teach her children that their highest goals should be to achieve happiness for themselves and to help others achieve happiness -- in each case, not as a far-off goal -- a horizon that can never be reached -- but as a reality in their day to day lives.. And, at least as it relates to themselves, they should resist defining happiness according to other people's notions, but instead look inside themselves to determine how they will be fulfilled and joyful (which may change, perhaps repeatedly, throughout their lives). But they should realize that achieving happiness for themselves, and helping others to achieve their own happiness, can require some effort and some persistence and some commitment -- it does not always come immediately, and it often comes most readily to those who take responsibility rather than leaving matters to chance. So be ready to "work" toward, and take responsibility for, your own happiness, and to help others achieve their own. But this "work" does not need to be unpleasant. Indeed, the effort itself can, and should, be joyful.

In Summary- the way this plane of existence work, is to get a result requires effort and work. The greater the effort and work the greater payout. To get from where you are now to where you want to be takes work. Work= pain such as losing weight by eating less, working a low level job to work your way up, etc. When we understand that to get things we want takes work, we adopt an approach to life that a bit of struggle towards our goals, actually creates a better life in the future.

[PanicCured]

Kuma and IMS you both made a valid points. life is tough and we need to chose our path; path of pain or joy. I would chose joy anytime. I am sad person and smile not to often because I was perceiving liFe like Paniccured, for years pain, suffering. Just lately I had opened up and trying to live my life joyfully. Every day is precious, and it is what we should teach younger generation. They have tools to achieve the greatness they just need to love themselves and others. Be happy and do not harm. Everyone should work, learn something that give them happiness, it is the most important, life is short and fast Boys. Before you knew time will be up:))

Unless you want your kid working minimum wage at 30, they will need to work to have a good life. The point is, just like taking time and effort to heal anxiety, and going out of yoru comfort zone, but the result is good. This is a good understanding of how life works.

[Dahila]

Unless you want your kid working minimum wage at 30, they will need to work to have a good life. The point is, just like taking time and effort to heal anxiety, and going out of yoru comfort zone, but the result is good. This is a good understanding of how life works.
I really prefer my kids to work for minimum wage and be happy than earning a lot and suffer from stress, anxiety and depression. I do not believe the exercise is pain:) (I gave it some thoughts driving home) when I exercise (I sweat a lot, I work hard) I am pretty happy, it gives me enormous satisfaction.
I believe that joy and love and spending time with loved ones is the most important. I am not believer and there is only this life, this moment, so better to spend it happily. PC do not get upset with me, it is my opinion, and I am so old I have the right to have one :))
Panic I do believe that money is important and easy today life, but look at all the billionaires, They do not look happy:)

[sae]

I thoroughly agree with the statement that everything takes a little bit of effort, and the more effort the better the result usually. I say effort as opposed to work because not everything you work towards will be successful but everything you put effort into will be, even if the only success you gain is the pride in knowing you tried.
This is a difficult concept for millenials I think due to the glorification of marginalization, instant gratification, and diminished consequences they are surrounded with. The millenials are not solely to blame here. This started way back in the late 60's. There was a parenting movement that became popular in which the focus of teaching action and consequences was focus less on consequence and more on reward.
My ex mother in law raised two boys with this softer touch parenting. One is in prison (again) and the other is dead. Her methods consisted of no raised voices, no "damaging" punishment ie confinement or spankings, but instead revolved around a cycle of candy sweet admonishments

[NixonRulz]

I like your take on this

Effort. A much better word

But it's everyone these days. Not just millenials

Can't imagine what the last real generation of men think about what we have become after fighting in WW II

And they wore a suit to a football game. They were all bad ass

[gypsylee]

Yeah our whole culture is about instant gratification and disposability.

[sae]

I can only imagine. This has been a pretty hot topic of discussion in my household as of late. We are dealing with a real first class millenial. She has readily adopted the politics of tumblr, the instant gratification that is fed to her as being "her right to have" with minimal effort. She's learned (erroneously) from the world around her that life is just going to hand itself over because she is pretty and sharp.
I didn't get to parent her as I wanted, instill the wisdom that I have to give, nor was I able to hold her accountable for her actions/inaction until she was closing in on 12. I now have the joy of explaining how effort, accountability and consequence apply to her, that little comes without a little discomfort sometimes. It's tough truth to learn.

[PanicCured]

I feel like some people are getting what I wrote and some people completely are missing the point. I am not sure why, since I feel I was absolutely crystal clear. It baffles me that I need to explain this again.

I use weight loss as an example, but it can parallel to curing anxiety: Many people do not want to go trough the pain or discomfort of dieting and exercise so they look of the miracle workout DVD, miracle pill or diet that will allow them to not feel pain. But if they buckled down and go through the pain for a temporary short period,, they will eventually reach the place they want to be. So this work is needed, but most people want to avoid the work and just have it handed to them. This is how our world works and it it important to understand this in all aspects of your life!

Why on Earth are some people not understanding this and even arguing wit me about this? Baffles me! Do they think you should go through life expecting things and work for nothing?

It is the same mentality when making money and being successful and curing anxiety. Why did I go from severe anxiety to none? Because I focused and did the work, not because I found a hidden secret or because I am some genius. I worked hard and went through the pain and in the end I got the results I wanted. This is the attitude to teach your children, not you are so great and everything great will come to you because daddy call you a princess all day.

So back to the title, the sooner you realize that temporary pain and discomfort to reach a greater goal is how one achieves thing in this life, the sooner you can do what needs to be done to get to where you want to be.

[PanicCured]

I thoroughly agree with the statement that everything takes a little bit of effort, and the more effort the better the result usually. I say effort as opposed to work because not everything you work towards will be successful but everything you put effort into will be, even if the only success you gain is the pride in knowing you tried.
This is a difficult concept for millenials I think due to the glorification of marginalization, instant gratification, and diminished consequences they are surrounded with. The millenials are not solely to blame here. This started way back in the late 60's. There was a parenting movement that became popular in which the focus of teaching action and consequences was focus less on consequence and more on reward.
My ex mother in law raised two boys with this softer touch parenting. One is in prison (again) and the other is dead. Her methods consisted of no raised voices, no "damaging" punishment ie confinement or spankings, but instead revolved around a cycle of candy sweet admonishments

Some things I agree with you and some I don't. I really believe there is no reason to strike a child. I do not see any evidence that it instills anything positive in them, as children will misbehave no matter what you do. I think not giving into a child everytime they want something and knowing that things like ice cream come only after dinner is finished and stuff like that is good. Comfortable people in modern Western nations always will feel more entitled but this younger generation really has taken it to extreme levels.

One of the points I was trying to make is that if you do not do the work, you don;t get the good life. Does anyone understand this? I thought I made that clear but maybe I don't write as clear as I think.
"Life is to be lived, woohoo I'm not gong to stress and waste my life, I just want to do bong loads and party!" where does that lead you?

It's like you have 2 choices in life: work and go through pain to get good things, or get mediocre things and never work or go through pain. "Rome wasn't built in a day" neither was any company, great singer, guitarist, dancer, lawyer, doctor, teacher, writer, businessperson, etc. To be honest, I didn't understand this for a lot of my life. I assume I could just show up and great things will come to me, until I learned the hard truth, the only thing in life that works is work.

[sae]

I agree with the thoughts behind this. There has to be, like in all things, moderation too. Sometimes it is hard to find the line that separates discomfort from detrimental pain.
I will use the weight loss parallel. Absolutely weight loss is not supposed to be easy. True results come from hard work, or at the very least bariatric surgery, but when you reach a point in which you are doing more harm to yourself than benefit, one shouldn't feel bad about themselves for falling short.
My weight has been nothing short of sheer hell for many years. There was a time I weighed over 330 lbs. Put that on someone not quite 5 ft tall, you can get a picture of exactly what I was dealing with.
How did I get there? I developed a nasty compulsive eating habit to combat my anxiety and depression. Just another maladaptive coping mechanism to fight.
My health began to decline and I decided to do something about it. I worked, sweet Jesus, I worked at it. If you want to know pain, try being 300+ lbs with angina walking in the Texas heat for 2 miles a day. I kept a strict dietary regimen, unlearned so many of my negative eating habits, and never missed a day walking.
I lost my 100th lb 7 months after I began, but to be truthful I felt terrible. I battled constant sore swollen ankles, pulled muscles, increasing chest pain. I felt cheated. I had done all this work had all these results, yet didn't find the relief weight loss was supposed to bring.
To this day I am unsure if my over the top efforts were truly the cause of my MI. In spite of all my efforts, all of the weight I had lost, it still happened. The straining and bruising I sustained during my walks, and exercise left my legs riddled with clots. The numbness in my feet I had chalked up to just being obese and exercising, the chest pain, the fatigue that drove me to work still harder in fear that I was becoming lazy, were all tell tale signs.
I learned the value of working hard to achieve my goals, but even better I learned to balance the amount of effort I put in with the patience required to do so realistically.
At some point you have to be willing to face pain, fear and discomfort. This is where progress starts. It continues, however, in growing with the pain. I am certainly not a healthy weight yet. I keep trying, abating the urges to eat when I am stressed, walk even if it is just walking laps inside my home. I am steadily losing. I am now 140 lbs lighter than I was when I started. It's slow going, sometimes I gain a little more when life happens, but I am still proud of me. I am happy with the journey and hopeful that one day, with continued effort I will get to my goal weight.
I think it is much more than just being willing to work. It's sticking to it, knowing when you're pushing too hard, and having the love and patience with yourself to keep on keeping on.

[PanicCured]

Congratulations on the diligence and losing the weight! Obviously you did rap the benefits of losing 100 lbs., but maybe you were in such bad health then that it still remains. Exercise did not cause your ankles to clot, it was obviously your health at the time. At 300 lbs. you would have been getting more health problems as you got older so good job! Keep at it!

But that is an example of what I am talking about. The only way you lost 1000 lbs. was hard work and going through pain. This idea that we must be comfortable and happy all of the time, and yet somehow we will magically acquire everything we want, is not reality. It was easy for you to eat lots of food an it felt good, I am sure losing 100 lbs. was incredibly difficult and now here you are, 100 lbs. lighter. Are you at a healthy weight yet?

[sae]

Some things I agree with you and some I don't. I really believe there is no reason to strike a child. I do not see any evidence that it instills anything positive in them, as children will misbehave no matter what you do. I think not giving into a child everytime they want something and knowing that things like ice cream come only after dinner is finished and stuff like that is good. Comfortable people in modern Western nations always will feel more entitled but this younger generation really has taken it to extreme levels.



I will not lie and say my kid has never been spanked. Although I can count on one hand the times this has happened on one hand, each instance was not meant to inflict pain as a punishment, but a noisy swat on a diaper to serve as a firm redirection from something serious. I sincerely doubt she sustained any lasting damage from it. You bet your ass though she never tried to jam a crochet needle in an outlet, or dashed out in front of a car in a parking lot again.
There is a distinct difference between consequence and punishment. This is a mark many parents these days seem to miss. Punishment is all well and good when a child is still too young to grasp accountability. Teaching accountability, especially these days when kids are learning from their peers and what they observe that they are exempted from taking responsibility.
My kid's grades began to slip. I made it known she was responsible for completing her homework and assignments. She is a brilliant kid, but did not think she would be held accountable for failing to do her work, assuming her test scores would carry her with the least amount of effort possible. I take her phone from her during school hours so she is no longer distracted by it while she she be learning and working on school work. She understood why it was taken. She experienced the consequences of not completing her schoolwork.
She slips off with her phone one morning and is caught. She now has lost her phone, make up, and anything else that she could use to occupy her time except books. Slowly she is earning these things back, one by one. This is not a punishment. She is expected to follow directions and has the capability of following them. Unlike a punishment that can be lifted after a certain time, she now has to earn these things back, as well as acknowledge that the very same things will be taken again if need be.
My ex mother in law has fought me tooth and nail on this. Her response "she's a kid, she will make mistakes. Taking these things she enjoys is cruelty." Having a phone, make up, art supplies... these are not rights, these are privaledges.
The simple truth is parenting is hard work. The same parents that grew up as children without developing a sense of accountability are now lacking accountability for their children as well. What you allow will always continue. They depend on anyone else, other relatives, television, the internet, the school system to teach their kids how to grow up to be responsible adults. Why? Because let's face it, it's easier to let the kid keep her phone just to keep the constant battle of wills at bay. Just because it is easier doesn't make it right. Parenting is a job. The more work you are willing to do, the more you accomplish at the end of the day and the greater the reward is at the end.
I could go into my whole diatribe about the degradation of the two parent home dynamic in today's society but I will leave that quagmire to another day.

[sae]

Congratulations on the diligence and losing the weight! Obviously you did rap the benefits of losing 100 lbs., but maybe you were in such bad health then that it still remains. Exercise did not cause your ankles to clot, it was obviously your health at the time. At 300 lbs. you would have been getting more health problems as you got older so good job! Keep at it!

But that is an example of what I am talking about. The only way you lost 1000 lbs. was hard work and going through pain. This idea that we must be comfortable and happy all of the time, and yet somehow we will magically acquire everything we want, is not reality. It was easy for you to eat lots of food an it felt good, I am sure losing 100 lbs. was incredibly difficult and now here you are, 100 lbs. lighter. Are you at a healthy weight yet?

It wasn't the exercise exclusively. It was the constant bruising. Some of it was from just being terribly clumsy. Some of it was the way my legs bruised from being curled up under and air ride seat for hours at a time at work. In the end hemotologists and cardiologists could only speculate how they occurred.
No doubt I was already in rough shape. I imagine my working out probably saved my life.
Compulsive eating isn't just as simple as eating to feel good. In actuality I often ate until I hurt simply because the physical sensation of eating to that point served as a distraction from my fears and stressors. I don't think I have equated eating to feeling good since my late teens. I had to learn healthier methods to ease my anxiety without the need for internal physical stimuli. I now use information gathering in place of eating. I feel stressed I start researching things, reading manuals, reading newspapers, following the stock market, anything I can find.
I am not a healthy weight yet. I have, realistically, another 60 lbs to go. These last 60 are proving to be a real booger too. I have plateau ed at 190 +/- ... I am under the supervision of my cardiologist for now in my weight loss and he seems pretty happy with my weight loss pace, even if sometimes I am not. My next heart check up is when we are supposed to discuss amping up my exercise routine.

[Im-Suffering]

When one is living a 'normal' life, a textbook existence, there is a focus on the exterior physical world, children, passions, doing, being present for others, a desire to change the world for the good if only through parenting or some notable goal. There is a motive force or push to explore, examine, befriend, and basically 'show up' in some way - to be there for, some movement or for some other being other than themselves, to work for the greater cause, to love, to cherish - to stand up, tall, confident in self.

With nervous disorder (anxiety) all that is lost, there is only self absorption, self pity and a brutal cycle of combating and self hate. Usually but one way out, and that is the complete opposite (train of thought) of whatever any of you are thinking at this current moment. You are so enmeshed in your (current) physical experience which corroborates the anxiety, along with this victimhood and pity, this lack of basic worth - that to you, there is no light, only a constant fight in the darkness.

Life is measured in quality now, not duration. And its not about what you do, but what you are being while doing it. Don't just be good, but be good for something, you understand. And you simply cannot while under the hypnotic influence of your problems only.

If you want to lose weight, but your in emotional pain while doing it, then it is for naught, and when the weight comes off the pain will still be there. The weight is the pain, symbolically.

If you get rid of anxiety, but the pain remains, then it is for naught, and the nerves will haunt you off and on your whole life. The nerves are the pain, if the pain could speak, again symbolically.

Now, the OP original point has turned into much more as the thread evolves.

It is much more than indolence, or an inherent tendency to sloth through life. And even those are beliefs. A sloth can accomplish goals receiving wants and desires, there are no set terms in what one can accomplish on how to accomplish them. In those terms the OP is incorrect and it is just his beliefs surfacing. Let him have them, then.

[Dahila]

the thread is awesome, Sae congratulation and keep doing it, it is such huge achievement:))
I was spanked maybe 5 times in my life and it did good not the opposite. I am against spanking so my children were raised without it. I get OP because youngsters today have everything we had to work hard for it. Parents buy whatever they need , trying to make up for time they spend working. It is tough for children too, even it does not look like that. They will pay with pain later

[struggling1234]

what you said is true mate!! we need to work on our lifestyle and make positive changes!!

[PanicCured]

I will not lie and say my kid has never been spanked. Although I can count on one hand the times this has happened on one hand, each instance was not meant to inflict pain as a punishment, but a noisy swat on a diaper to serve as a firm redirection from something serious. I sincerely doubt she sustained any lasting damage from it. You bet your ass though she never tried to jam a crochet needle in an outlet, or dashed out in front of a car in a parking lot again.
There is a distinct difference between consequence and punishment. This is a mark many parents these days seem to miss. Punishment is all well and good when a child is still too young to grasp accountability. Teaching accountability, especially these days when kids are learning from their peers and what they observe that they are exempted from taking responsibility.
My kid's grades began to slip. I made it known she was responsible for completing her homework and assignments. She is a brilliant kid, but did not think she would be held accountable for failing to do her work, assuming her test scores would carry her with the least amount of effort possible. I take her phone from her during school hours so she is no longer distracted by it while she she be learning and working on school work. She understood why it was taken. She experienced the consequences of not completing her schoolwork.
She slips off with her phone one morning and is caught. She now has lost her phone, make up, and anything else that she could use to occupy her time except books. Slowly she is earning these things back, one by one. This is not a punishment. She is expected to follow directions and has the capability of following them. Unlike a punishment that can be lifted after a certain time, she now has to earn these things back, as well as acknowledge that the very same things will be taken again if need be.
My ex mother in law has fought me tooth and nail on this. Her response "she's a kid, she will make mistakes. Taking these things she enjoys is cruelty." Having a phone, make up, art supplies... these are not rights, these are privaledges.
The simple truth is parenting is hard work. The same parents that grew up as children without developing a sense of accountability are now lacking accountability for their children as well. What you allow will always continue. They depend on anyone else, other relatives, television, the internet, the school system to teach their kids how to grow up to be responsible adults. Why? Because let's face it, it's easier to let the kid keep her phone just to keep the constant battle of wills at bay. Just because it is easier doesn't make it right. Parenting is a job. The more work you are willing to do, the more you accomplish at the end of the day and the greater the reward is at the end.
I could go into my whole diatribe about the degradation of the two parent home dynamic in today's society but I will leave that quagmire to another day.

Well I understand about spanking to not inflict pain or anger but to teach them so they do not get hurt in the future, but I still am 100% against striking a child in any manner ever! I am not convinced that spanking is ever necessary! Spanking still causes pain, and a parent causing pain to their own child, does not seem like the kind of stimulation a child should ever experience. Striking a child simply shows lack of parenting skills, or at least, lack of parenting skills in that moment.

But I'd rather not digress the thread too much.

[PanicCured]

what you said is true mate!! we need to work on our lifestyle and make positive changes!!

I love how you summed up my points in 1 sentence. That was great! Wish I was better at that!

[Two One]

I admit, I was guilty of feeling this way for quite some time (oddly enough I'm a millennial). For the longest time I felt I was owed something because of all the suffering I have endured. It's a strange concept, in reality, I knew life owed me nothing but I felt like it did. But I definitely agree that if you want something you have to put in the effort to achieve it. Everybody's different, and therefore everybody will have their own way to achieve happiness. The goal you're pursuing may be what ultimately brings you happiness. That's the case for myself. I don't believe I will ever truly be happy until I achieve what I want to, and I realize that I will have to put in a lot of effort, hard work, and time to reach my dreams.

The best things come to those who put the effort in. I definitely agree with that. Whether it be working to heal yourself from anxiety or chasing your dreams; it will require effort to make positive changes in your life that will ultimately lead to happiness.

[PanicCured]

I admit, I was guilty of feeling this way for quite some time (oddly enough I'm a millennial). For the longest time I felt I was owed something because of all the suffering I have endured. It's a strange concept, in reality, I knew life owed me nothing but I felt like it did. But I definitely agree that if you want something you have to put in the effort to achieve it. Everybody's different, and therefore everybody will have their own way to achieve happiness. The goal you're pursuing may be what ultimately brings you happiness. That's the case for myself. I don't believe I will ever truly be happy until I achieve what I want to, and I realize that I will have to put in a lot of effort, hard work, and time to reach my dreams.

The best things come to those who put the effort in. I definitely agree with that. Whether it be working to heal yourself from anxiety or chasing your dreams; it will require effort to make positive changes in your life that will ultimately lead to happiness.

This is why I post here. Everytime I post I receive hate responses and people going ape shit about this or that, sometimes not even related to what I wrote. And I always say, if you are too stupid to understand what I wrote, or simply just want fight and get enraged, I always know there is always some people on here that not only understand what I try to say, but can even receive benefit from it. I have to filter out the people who will simply bully me no matter what I post because they either can;t comprehend English, too stupid or simply live in such denial, they can't be open to an idea that goes against their fixed view of how things are. Remember, many people with anxiety in the long term, do not really want to get better. They feel losing anxiety is losing their identity and they will fight to keep it. What they want is a way to maintain, not overcome it.

But yes, you get it! Also, about you saying you may never be truly happy, I look at this differently. I look at you will never be truly satisfied, which is what keeps life going and what actually creates existence! But you can transcend basic happiness and sadness cycle to be content in a kind of spiritual knowing that is peace. Like you have a deep happiness within, that even if things go bad, you still feel that inner peace.