Feeling empty - don't know what to do with my life

[supapa]

Hi everyone,

I'm a 23 year old boy and i just finished my engineering studies. I've been unemployed since then (6 month). In the beginning I was looking for a job but I quickly realised that I had no idea about what I really wanted to do with my life. Some company offered me jobs I didn't even know if I wanted to do. I also found out that my studies were a default choice, with no motivation. Just to follow the "normal path".

I had a chaotic adolescence with a lot of conflicts, a sick sister. From this time I started to isolate myself, playing video games in my room, I quit sports. I feel like I never had an adolescence. During my studies, I did no parties, no friends, nothing. Just did the minimum to go through the end. And here I am.

Beside all that, I have no self-esteem nor self-confidence, I'm very shy. Everytime there's a bit of pressure or I feel like somebody's judging/looking at me, I go to pieces, I shake. For instance, playing tennis, drinking a glass, ... I hate myself and I can't bear to see me in the mirror.

To sum up, I have no idea what I want to do with my life, neither in my profesionnal life or my hobbies. I feel like I wasted my youth and that I'm worthless. I got few friends, no girlfriend, nothing. All I know is that I don't want to live to survive, working all day long just to eat and pay my bills. Living has become hard. I can't even fall asleep at night.

I know I'm very negative and pessimistic but that's how I feel and I don't know how to get out of that hole.

(I see a psy, but that doesn't help)

[gypsylee]

Hi there and welcome :)

I'm 41 and I would love to be 23 again, knowing what I know now of course. It seems to be a bit of a crisis age around here (23).

"All I know is that I don't want to live to survive, working all day long just to eat and pay my bills." Unfortunately that's what most people's lives are like in a consumer society. There are other ways though.. You just have to find them, and you have plenty of time on your side.

If your therapist isn't helping, maybe try and find a new one?

Anyway I hope you find some support here. There are lots of cool people.

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[supapa]

Hey
Thank you for your answer.

Thing is I know I can be out of the materialistic way of thinking that the society imposes on us. The real struggle I'm having (out of the fact that I hate myself lol) is that I have no idea what to do with my life. I feel like I can't fit in this world.

I know there's a lot to do and enjoy on Earth. But I just don't know what could be mine.
About my therapist it helps but just a little.

I hope some people could help me to advance, just a bit.

[superchick22684]

Hi everyone,

I'm a 23 year old boy and i just finished my engineering studies. I've been unemployed since then (6 month). In the beginning I was looking for a job but I quickly realised that I had no idea about what I really wanted to do with my life. Some company offered me jobs I didn't even know if I wanted to do. I also found out that my studies were a default choice, with no motivation. Just to follow the "normal path".

I had a chaotic adolescence with a lot of conflicts, a sick sister. From this time I started to isolate myself, playing video games in my room, I quit sports. I feel like I never had an adolescence. During my studies, I did no parties, no friends, nothing. Just did the minimum to go through the end. And here I am.

Beside all that, I have no self-esteem nor self-confidence, I'm very shy. Everytime there's a bit of pressure or I feel like somebody's judging/looking at me, I go to pieces, I shake. For instance, playing tennis, drinking a glass, ... I hate myself and I can't bear to see me in the mirror.

To sum up, I have no idea what I want to do with my life, neither in my profesionnal life or my hobbies. I feel like I wasted my youth and that I'm worthless. I got few friends, no girlfriend, nothing. All I know is that I don't want to live to survive, working all day long just to eat and pay my bills. Living has become hard. I can't even fall asleep at night.

I know I'm very negative and pessimistic but that's how I feel and I don't know how to get out of that hole.

(I see a psy, but that doesn't help)

I'm 31 and I'm still debating if what I'm doing as a profession is what I really want to do with my life. I have a degree in journalism and I work as a writer and photographer. I've never felt like I "fit in" and I've been told that I'm weird or unique for the majority of the time I was growing up and even now in adulthood. Within the last year or so I'm getting to the point where I'm finally finding people that are more accepting and that I feel okay being myself around them instead of having to hide the real me. I credit a lot of that to therapy.

I'm with gypsylee on the fact that if your therapist isn't helping that shopping around for a new one is probably a good idea. Perhaps a new therapist can help you begin to work your way out of the hole that your in?

[Mr Jingles]

To sum up, I have no idea what I want to do with my life, neither in my profesionnal life or my hobbies. I feel like I wasted my youth and that I'm worthless. ... All I know is that I don't want to live to survive, working all day long just to eat and pay my bills.

I also am at a point where I don't know what I want. I'm trying to just be patient with that. And like you, I want work to fit into my life, not the other way around.

[supapa]

Thanks everyone !!!

It seems like I'm not the only one with this kind of thoughts. Quite reassuring.

Thing is if I don't change what I'm doing everyday (insomnia, all day in front of computer), nothing is going to change. I don't know where to start

[Pumpkin]

I'm a 19 year old female that is currently working part time and doing nothing else. I went to college for 1 semester to pursue a career in nursing but due to anxiety I decided I can't be a nurse... not now atleast.

I'm pretty devastated because nursing was a dream of mine for so long but the testing and amount of work that college requires is crazy.

I congratulate you on finishing your engineering studies though... i'm sure you can accomplish anything.

I also suffer from that empty feeling... I sit in my room and keep to myself. I partied in highschool but my life since then has been lonely and isolated. It's pretty terrible and I feel like i'm wasting my days away.

You are not alone with these feelings, please realize this. I hope you find your true passion, which i'm sure you can do as you are still very young and have your whole life ahead of you! Good luck :)

[Joiningyou]

Hi supapa, I'm 21 just turned and can completely empathise with how you feel! I moved between studies a lot from the ages at 16 before training as a teaching assistant and I work in that job now but have found myself feeling isolated, lost and internally conflicted in this since December. It can be reassuring to know there are people out there who don't work out what they want to do until they're 50! I'll be retraining in January as a pastry chef .. what I found helped was I looked at what I would want to study that I would enjoy and removed the idea of future employment from the equation .. I don't know if I'll become a pastry chef but I love cooking so atleast studying it will be something to look forward to and who knows! Take your time. Your peace of mind about this is the most important things .. whether it takes a minute or a year, find something you enjoy and go from there and don't push yourself too hard. I have no doubts that one this works out, additionally new friendships and communications will open up so easily for you. Take care my friend.

[CarlaB]

Hi everyone,

I'm a 23 year old boy and i just finished my engineering studies. I've been unemployed since then (6 month). In the beginning I was looking for a job but I quickly realised that I had no idea about what I really wanted to do with my life. Some company offered me jobs I didn't even know if I wanted to do. I also found out that my studies were a default choice, with no motivation. Just to follow the "normal path".

I had a chaotic adolescence with a lot of conflicts, a sick sister. From this time I started to isolate myself, playing video games in my room, I quit sports. I feel like I never had an adolescence. During my studies, I did no parties, no friends, nothing. Just did the minimum to go through the end. And here I am.

Beside all that, I have no self-esteem nor self-confidence, I'm very shy. Everytime there's a bit of pressure or I feel like somebody's judging/looking at me, I go to pieces, I shake. For instance, playing tennis, drinking a glass, ... I hate myself and I can't bear to see me in the mirror.

To sum up, I have no idea what I want to do with my life, neither in my profesionnal life or my hobbies. I feel like I wasted my youth and that I'm worthless. I got few friends, no girlfriend, nothing. All I know is that I don't want to live to survive, working all day long just to eat and pay my bills. Living has become hard. I can't even fall asleep at night.

I know I'm very negative and pessimistic but that's how I feel and I don't know how to get out of that hole.

(I see a psy, but that doesn't help)

I know the feeling about the umemployment part. A man without purpose is an unhappy one if you ask me. Purpose gives us meaning to keep on living when life is kickin our ass. Find your purpose. Find out what do you like to do.

The best way to be happy is to be free and be in the service of other.

[Twobluebutterflie]

hi, i think there is nothing wrong with you it's just that you are depressed because of the bad experiences you had in your life. when one isolates himself for a long time he started being depressed but there is nothing wrong with you at all, you need to try doing what you love to do and enjoy yourself more and spend more time with the people you love

[Twobluebutterflie]

it's not that you have no self esteem in fact you are a successful person, you got through engineering school which is great. i have always been successful in what i do my studies job interviews and everything but always felt the same as you. and i have been to many shrinks without any progress. what may help as a start is that you spend some time with the most person ypu feel comfortable with and that you get your blood tested, it could be hypothyroidism or lack of vitamins that's causing you depression like in my case.