Social Anxiety & Work

[abluerwhite]

My social anxiety plus prior experiences are having a detrimental effect on my professional life.

A little run down: Once I graduated I was a nanny, and then got a part time job which I almost couldn't handle. Now that I am very used to it, it's not a problem at all.
However, I got a very stressful job which I despised in an office in a city two hours away from me. I had to quit after a day because the stress of commuting was too much for me to handle plus the environment was awful. I actually cried hysterically after the first day, went in the next day, and cried in public.

So now I just started this great internship and I'm back in school. I'm afraid to go back to the office setting again, and just afraid of it all in general.

I want to be able to approach jobs, and new things without being afraid!! I don't want to just push through the fear. I want the fear to be extinguished. I don't know how to even begin and if this is something I need to go back to therapy about or what. Anytime I have to deal with large changes it feels like my world is being torn apart.

Who else deals with this?

[Mr Jingles]

Anytime I have to deal with large changes it feels like my world is being torn apart.
Who else deals with this?

I definitely struggle with this. Right now I'm going through many life situation transitions with many unknowns. Is not easy for me.

[rissable]

You and I have a lot in common - I was also a nanny for a while, and most of my anxiety comes from work situations. And I feel exactly as you do, that I don't want to push through it, because even though I CAN, most of the time, it still HURTS to do that. Sometimes I wonder if it's so much to ask that I be able to wake up in the morning before work and not feel like the world is falling apart around me.

[Im-Suffering]

Sometimes I wonder if it's so much to ask that I be able to wake up in the morning before work and not feel like the world is falling apart around me.

Theres a difference in waking up in the morning doing what you believe you have to do, what you were told to do, what you were/are conditioned to do, and what you were 'made to do'. Without all the crappy beliefs and limitations you were told about who you are.

Hint: if it doesnt feel good, you are not living your truth.

That difference is stress/unhappiness, depression, lethargy, anxiety, ill health versus fulfillment, enrichment, exhuberance, and passion.

Its your life, you choose. But first you have to wake up from the dreamy entrancement of your physical illusion enough to shed some mental light in, which we call edification.

[dwizzite]

Your world is being torn apart. The faster you accept that change is inevitable, the better. In fact, you can decide to be on the forefront of change, so when life does the unexpected things that life does, you aren't even phased. I feel you on the driving. I fucking hate driving. That's why I work from home now.

Get used to change and make it your bitch! Invite it. Change can be fun.

[CarlaB]

Im always anxious when I start a new job. Its because you are new so you lack the confidence of dealing with the job well. Once I get the groove of handing the job and the people there I find the anxiety goes away. You have to accept change if you want to grow your career and yourself.

[dwizzite]

One of the things I've done in the past when starting a new job is to meet everyone as fast as I can within the first day and week. I literally go up to everyone and say, "Hey, I haven't met you yet, I'm Dwight. How's everything? Is there a secret mafia I need to know about just to get it out of the way?". I don't wait. I've noticed that once someone is near me, I immediately go in like a machine almost. Waiting creates space for anxiety.

Now if it's a lack of confidence because of job skills... do your homework man! Andnd allow yourself to be naive and ask questions. You can play the newbie card for the first 2 weeks. Test it out.

[Diane Beck]

Hi abluerwhite I'm a NLP-Hypnotherapist. Please know that this anxiety can be eliminated very quickly. The therapy that I recommend you seek is called Havening, it's superb, puts you back in control, is elegant and simple in practice with lots of science around the natural body reactions and natural feel good chemicals produced which make physiological changes. Its hugely encouraging. NLP Hypnosis is also excellent. Good luck. There is no 'pushing through the fear' required. I speak from experience as a former sufferer and now experienced therapist. I promise you there is a solution and they are becoming very quick to administer. (I wish they'd have been around when I was younger suffering badly from anxiety).

[luser]

Abluerwhite -- I know how you feel.

Five years into constant anxiety I took a high-stress office job at an organization with thousands of employees on-site. I worked there for three years, the entire time with anxiety. Never got used to it. Every day was a major problem, but there would be highs and lows.

Most likely you'll find a few people who "get you" and you can feel somewhat comfortable around. But there's going to be a majority of people who don't know you (if it's a large company) and you'll have some amount of interaction with them. It's painful and sucks. I don't know the answer.

Now I have to take another job again, and the only openings are at mega-corps downtown and it's going to suckville again.

All I can offer is saying you're not alone.

Also, I could tell at my last job that there were other people quietly suffering.

[britnii]

I never worked at a job more than 1 day and i'm 22 years old. I'm terrified of it but I know it's something I'll have to do soon. I just don't know how I will do it but I will. I'm 7 months pregnant with my first baby, ( a girl). Being pregnant does make me try to think more positive. I need to get myself together before she's here. My baby shower is next month and I can't even put in word how scared I am. I'll have to speak to people, and be the center of attention...the closer it gets to the baby shower date, the more scared I get.

[Nrj14811]

I've struggled with my anxiety and social phobia since I was a small child. I work retail and my anxiety doesn't feel much better. Thankfully the company I'm with has a strong drive for customer service. This means I am required to approach people and I'm required to talk to them and help them. That requirement has been such s help in my fear of people. After 7 years, I don't have a fear of talking to people in the store. I'm still having trouble with social interaction outside of work. And my confidence has taken a major hit recently. Thankfully my boss has overcome some of the problems I have and she's willing to help. She recommended me come to this site. I think the people here truly want to help.

[superchick22684]

Welcome to the forum. There are many of us that can relate to what you experience.

[lisa2015]

I work in a completely non- customer facing role and I couldn't do anything else! I tried cafes/bars before and couldn't stand them... it's too much having all eyes on me constantly, it feels like acting a role all the time

[The Intolerable Kid]

One suggestion would to be get as much out of an interview as possible. When I interview, I want to meet who I'll actually be answering to (not just some HR person) and I absolutely want a tour of the work environment beforehand. There are sites like glassdoor.com that provide reviews of businesses as well. I have found these useful in avoiding jobs that look good on the surface, but are nightmares underneath. Detailed reconnaissance is one tool that can help prevent the 'worked it one day and had to quit' situation.