Extreme and fearful attachments to peopl

[amalthea]

Hi everyone. I'm experiencing some weird feelings towards a woman I recently met. I'm going to skip the backstory for now. I'm an addict and she is my sponsor. We only have known each other a week and met once. Normally I am extremely anxious around new people and very slow to open up and trust. Yet I felt instantly attached to this woman. Now I'm obsessing over pleasing her, staring at the phone. I can feel the relief from the panic whenever she reassures me of her care for me. What is this all about? I don't get it. I'm suppossed to be working on getting clean but all I can do is obsess over her. Also I am straight this is not a sexual thing. Though I have had similar experiences with men in the past. Help please!!!
A

[NixonRulz]

Hi everyone. I'm experiencing some weird feelings towards a woman I recently met. I'm going to skip the backstory for now. I'm an addict and she is my sponsor. We only have known each other a week and met once. Normally I am extremely anxious around new people and very slow to open up and trust. Yet I felt instantly attached to this woman. Now I'm obsessing over pleasing her, staring at the phone. I can feel the relief from the panic whenever she reassures me of her care for me. What is this all about? I don't get it. I'm suppossed to be working on getting clean but all I can do is obsess over her. Also I am straight this is not a sexual thing. Though I have had similar experiences with men in the past. Help please!!!
A

Probably a good chance that you gave up your addiction, which you were constantly focussed on, and have replaced one addiction with another

Best of luck with your path to recovery

[Mr Jingles]

You seem quite distressed over it.

What are you worried is going to happen? Could you give it time and see how it transpires, or is something in you fighting that?

[gypsylee]

Yeah this is why you're meant to stay single for a few years when you get sober.

[JustaGal]

[QUOTE=amalthea;209458]Hi everyone. I'm experiencing some weird feelings towards a woman I recently met. I'm going to skip the backstory for now. I'm an addict and she is my sponsor. We only have known each other a week and met once. Normally I am extremely anxious around new people and very slow to open up and trust. Yet I felt instantly attached to this woman. Now I'm obsessing over pleasing her, staring at the phone. I can feel the relief from the panic whenever she reassures me of her care for me. What is this all about? I don't get it. I'm suppossed to be working on getting clean but all I can do is obsess over her. Also I am straight this is not a sexual thing. Though I have had similar experiences with men in the past. Help please!!!
A[/QUOT

I can relate. Been there. What program are you in? AA? Obviously she meets deep needs you have, so did the other addiction. Be gentle on yourself, self condemnation will cause a relapse. Do you feel strong enough to get another sponsor? I know the thought seems like death, but you should get another sponsor at this point. We are complex creatures and may never figure out why we have the needs that we do. Love and acceptance are real needs, and when we find it we act like starving people.

Anyway, look into co-dependency as well. You will be ok, it is part of the healing process and self discovery,